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What do you do when people are being awful about women in a social setting?

(38 Posts)
bringmejoy2015 Sun 01-Feb-15 22:27:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LineRunner Sun 01-Feb-15 22:29:03

Just say, 'You know what, I'm not ok with this.'

And go home.

gallicgirl Sun 01-Feb-15 22:30:10

I'd just go home.
Tell them it's not funny and you're disappointed they have so little respect for women. Not worth an argument.

Mintyy Sun 01-Feb-15 22:30:51

"I don't find this funny at all, I'm going home now"

AnyFucker Sun 01-Feb-15 22:32:10

what they said

you don't have to pretend to be ok with this

bringmejoy2015 Sun 01-Feb-15 22:33:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist Sun 01-Feb-15 22:33:18

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PetulaGordino Sun 01-Feb-15 22:33:39

If it were me in this situation I would have left. Not got into a debate or tried to change their minds, just "this is not ok, I'm off". I might not have done so a few years ago tbh because I would have struggled to voice this or would have worried about getting into a long drawn-out debate that I would have no chance of "winning". But it's not up to you to make sure the night isn't ruined if they think that is acceptable

BuffytheReasonableFeminist Sun 01-Feb-15 22:34:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeedaDiscoNap Sun 01-Feb-15 22:34:25

I'd say something along the lines of what gallicgirl has suggested - non confrontational but clear about your disappointment about the lack of respect for women. They sound like they need a bit of a kick up the arse.

anothernumberone Sun 01-Feb-15 22:35:58

This is why I struggle to find John Bishop funny, a night listening to him slagging of his wife in particular really is not entertainment.

I had this with one of dhs friends about how women could never do his job, blah, blah, blah. Positive discrimination ruining his life, making his job less safe to do, blah, blah, blah. I challenged a few of the comments because the irony of him being an out and out alcoholic and therefore putting his colleagues lives at risk seemed inappropriate to bring up at the time and then I just gave up as it seemed pointless and I found someone more pleasant to speak to. In your situation I would leave.

MaryMotherOfCheeses Sun 01-Feb-15 22:37:04

I'd be livid.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist Sun 01-Feb-15 22:37:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BictoriaVeckham Sun 01-Feb-15 22:43:55

I was in a social setting the other week and CE came up. I was really surprised at the comments and managed to articulate things well but sensed the need to change the subject as it would have ruined the evening and we were guests.

I would politely ask them if it would be funny if the comedian was talking about their mum or sister. If it didn't raise eyebrows and leave.

CrispyFern Sun 01-Feb-15 22:56:55

Say "Jesus Christ do you guys remember that I am a woman? Why the fuck would you think an anti woman comedy routine was something I'd want to sit through? It isn't what I want to watch. I feel really uncomfortable and sad now so, sorry, but I'm leaving. Enjoy your night."

CrispyFern Sun 01-Feb-15 22:57:47

Or just say you have a bad headache and go.

Alibabsandthe40Musketeers Sun 01-Feb-15 23:07:53

Why lie Fern?

Tell them the truth.

bringmejoy2015 Sun 01-Feb-15 23:34:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LineRunner Sun 01-Feb-15 23:37:49

Bloody good for you.

bringmejoy2015 Sun 01-Feb-15 23:38:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Waitingonasunnyday Sun 01-Feb-15 23:41:30

Well done bringmejoy. Hopefully it might make them think a tiny bit. Which is a step in the right direction.

MrsTawdry Sun 01-Feb-15 23:45:56

Which comedian was it?

bringmejoy2015 Sun 01-Feb-15 23:50:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

marshmallowpies Mon 02-Feb-15 00:01:00

Good for you for standing up for women - and glad that at least the host seemed to get what you were getting at.

I had this with a male friend once when we were watching Wimbledon - he said 'It's not fair for the other women to have to play against the Williams 'brothers', they aren't really women, they should play against the men'.

I thought that was such an awful thing to say about two women who are superb athletes and are definitely women - and said so - but he just laughed and kept repeating 'but look at them, they aren't really women, are they?' I wasn't able to get him to see that actually what he was saying was sexist and nasty and completely belittling their talent and hard work.

And of course the implication that they only get that good by 'being like men' is offensive to all women, really. God it made me mad!

DrinkFeckArseGirls Mon 02-Feb-15 00:13:24

bringjoy whet a nasty thing to say of your friend! shock So it's now your fault, yes? Nit that the comedian is sexist, it's your fault for agreeing to watch it and then complaining about it. Don't think your 'friend' got it at all.

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