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Supermarket employee wolf whistled at me. Was complaint email too much?

(16 Posts)
CompetitiveCrispEater Wed 21-Jan-15 13:50:13

A male employee at the butchery counter loudly wolf whistled at me while I was bending over looking at puddings food, about 10 metres away from him. I was shocked and felt embarassed but then angry.
How fucking dare someone try to intimidate me while they're meant to be working! It's bad enough on the street, but while idly mooching around a shop?!

I emailed the company and said how wolf whistling is not 'fun' or a compliment, it's designed to intimidate women, and personal remarks about my appearance are not required, much less so when communicated through animalistic noises, and how they should dicipline their staff to not sexually intimidate customers...
Now I feel that was a bit harsh. My mother said I should be glad to be wolf whistled at hmm
FWIW I know that the staff of this store dont get disciplined for outrageous behaviour in the past (rural drama involving a neighbour), so I don't think the man will get fired. I feel bad for complaining, was I wrong?!

Lazymummy2014 Wed 21-Jan-15 13:52:01

No no no no no - you were not wrong, wolf whistling is not a compliment, don't question yourself.

DeliciousMonster Wed 21-Jan-15 13:53:33

No of course not. Follow it up a week later to see if anything has been done about it.

CultureSucksDownWords Wed 21-Jan-15 13:54:54

Not wrong at all! A wolf whistle is not a compliment at all. It's uninvited and unwelcome comment (animalistic is a good description of it too) about your appearance. You are not public property or an object to be commented on.

I think your email spelled it out very clearly.

Maroonie Wed 21-Jan-15 13:56:17

Definitely the right thing to do and I admire you for it.
It's the kind of thing I wish I had the confidence to do.

avocadotoast Wed 21-Jan-15 13:57:00

Nope, I think you were right to complain.

I once sent a complaint to a company after an employee leaned out the window to whistle/yell something at me. I got a really good response too. I did wonder if I'd been a bit harsh but fuck it, I don't think I was.

TheWhiteRoad Wed 21-Jan-15 13:57:02

No absolutely not. Wolf whistling is not a compliment. It is nasty and sexist at best. Threatening and intimidating at worst.

Skeppers Wed 21-Jan-15 14:03:34

A wolf whistle is blatant public-shaming of women as far as I'm concerned. It doesn't matter if it's intended as a compliment; it's embarrassing and humiliates you in front of others. If he wanted to surreptitiously check out your arse whilst you were bending over or even mutter a "phwoar, look at the arse on her!" comment to a colleague out of earshot then fair play- the less you know- but if he was stupid enough to let the world know what he was doing at the time and make you feel uncomfortable in a public place then he deserves everything he gets. Bellend. Why are some men so stupid!? What was he expecting you to do in response? Turn around and emit a girlish giggle? Maybe give him a cheeky flash? hmm

CompetitiveCrispEater Wed 21-Jan-15 14:06:13

Thank you all! I feel better now, I sent the email the instant I got home, and then thought 'shitttt, bit harsh?'
But I work with the general public too, and I know to be on your best behaviour, neutral, bland, smile. Not acting like some kind of lout.

My husband said, when I told him, 'fuckin wolf whistling? Is it the 80's?'

YonicScrewdriver Wed 21-Jan-15 16:11:37

Nope, YANBU.

HermioneWeasley Wed 21-Jan-15 19:59:30

Definitely not unreasonable to complain. How fucking dare he?!

LesserOfTwoWeevils Sun 25-Jan-15 18:52:24

Well done you. Not too harsh at all.

SardineQueen Sun 25-Jan-15 18:58:22

Someone working in a shop wolf whistled you? That is bizarre. It's just so utterly inappropriate I can't even imagine it happening round here!

YANBU to complain obviously.

And your mum is wrong grin

BreakingDad77 Mon 26-Jan-15 10:52:46

YANBU- don't listen to old traditional women who dont' realise this is all part of giving men permission to objectify them.

Was listening to Radio 2 this morning and chris evans was talking to kylie minogue who's won some award and he was asking about her dress etc, i cant remember if he actually asked her about what touring/work she was doing this year.

FloraFox Mon 26-Jan-15 12:19:07

giving men permission to objectify them

what does this mean? Men don't objectify women because women give them permission to do it.

BreakingDad77 Mon 26-Jan-15 14:22:49

Sorry permission is probably the wrong word, I mean by not complaining/escalating you are saying that this behavior towards women is still acceptable.

Comment was on back and having had too much eye rolling while reading all the large numbers of posts by women (on other sites) along of the lines of "I'm not a feminist, no one is getting hurt here, when i was young it made me feel good".

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