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walk like a man..

(18 Posts)
HazleNutt Mon 12-Jan-15 11:59:26

Has the manslamming article been discussed here yet?
nymag.com/thecut/2015/01/manslamming-manspreading-microaggressions.html?mid=huffpost_women-pubexchange_article

I just saw it, and have to say that it reflects my own experience very well. Before I didn't even notice that it was always me moving out of the way, if there was a man approaching, and they just keep walking, also assuming that I will step aside and make room. I don't think those men consciously think that I should make room, because they are more important - it's just what we all are used do.

Now I sometimes don't move out of the way, just for fun - I love when men walk closer and closer, and you can see from the confused look in their eyes, that they don't quite get what's happening. 'Something is wrong, there's an obstacle on the way, it should be disappearing by now, but it isn't..' Same with manspreading and armrest hogging.

What's your experience of 'manslamming?'

MardyBra Mon 12-Jan-15 13:34:52

That's an interesting article. I'd never really thought of this before. Mind you, I live in a smaller city and I wonder if manslamming is more of a phenomenon in large metropolises. (Is that the correct plural?)

I do swim a lot, and men seem to have more a lane entitlement than women. I recently had a swimming equivalent to manslamming where some bloke invaded my space and we had a head-on swimming stand-off when I refused to move out of his way.

EBearhug Mon 12-Jan-15 16:05:48

I've walked into people before, because I was totally not paying attention, and failed to realise they were there. I'm not sure that most people are completely unobservant like that (nor am I, usually,) because AFAIK, men mostly don't walk into each other in the street, so presumably there's some subtle body language going on so they know who will cede. So they just don't expect women to keep in the same line.

I agree with swimming pools to a point - but I think regular swimmers tend to have better lane discipline than less frequent swimmers.

slug Mon 12-Jan-15 16:10:59

Oooh, men in the pool. When you have a swimmer in the fast lane who just can't keep up yet refuses to move into a slower lane it's always a man I find.

grimbletart Mon 12-Jan-15 16:22:10

Maybe more of a city thing? Used to happen to me in London a lot when I was younger. But I live in a village and it is full of elderly gentlemen who leap into the road and put themselves in danger of being mown down. This is so that they achieve the old etiquette of always passing a lady on the outside of the pavement.

It's quite funny because even when I am walking along in a daydream and happen to be walking near the edge they will still leap into the road rather than pass me on the inside. But I am an elderly glimmer myself so probably they think it am wedded to elderly etiquette too Bless.

I wouldn't dream of saying anything as it is meant as good manners and life is too short to play a feminism card on this one grin

EBearhug Mon 12-Jan-15 16:23:23

It's usually a man, but not always (yes, annoying blonde woman who had absolutely no consideration for other swimmers, I do mean you.) Men seem personally insulted that a fat woman can swim faster.

I suspect it's more noticeable in a pool, because you tend to have the space restricted by lane ropes, whereas people spread out more on a street, if there is space to do so.

UriGeller Mon 12-Jan-15 16:24:52

I dont move, ever. I have a pram. If I'm walking without the pram (rarely) I always do the eye contact thing. If a man doesn't move out of the way I just stop dead, fiddle with my bag or something. they can fuck off.

EBearhug Mon 12-Jan-15 16:29:23

I think it probably is more of a city thing. I remember taking a boyfriend home one weekend to the Dorset countryside, and he was amazed that people we passed when we went out for a walk all said hello. But it's not done to acknowledge people in the same way in the city. I once spoke to someone at a bus stop on Tottenham Court Road, and I think they were quite shocked and thought I was weird.

It's easier to slam into people if you don't generally acknowledge anyone as you go about.

OmnipotentQueenOfTheUniverse Mon 12-Jan-15 19:38:18

I am in a prime area for this and also heard of this before, so took notice of whether I was getting out the way all the time without realising (I was) and made a conscious effort not to do it so much.

I would say it's about 50/50 who ends up bopping shoulders with me BUT the men much more frequently look a bit surprised when they realise that I am not going to give way!

Interestingly there was a thread about getting in the way in shopping aisles and stuff and I said that my DH and FIL have zero awareness of when they are getting in the way and I am forever hauling DH to the side. I think I am very aware of not wanting to get in people's way. DH and his dad are very large men and so I wonder if this is as simple as littler ones tend to get out of the way of bigger ones as if we are all antelopes or something grin

DH has also commented that people "seem to walk into him a lot" but my observation is that he isn't aware and just kind of expects people to get out of his way.

So it's a size thing maybe and of course men are generally bigger than women? Plus maybe a bit of socialisation about being aware of others / being polite / not causing trouble / right to space etc.

Certainly if you watch a big strong man walk down the street other men will tend to get out of his way as well as women IYSWIM.

themummyonthebus Mon 12-Jan-15 20:43:40

Hmm interesting. I shall conduct an experiment in the corridors at work tomorrow. Thanks for the article, food for thought.

Flywheel Mon 12-Jan-15 20:59:12

The size thing is interesting. Like Chelsea tractor drivers - a lot of which are women. Iinteresting.

OmnipotentQueenOfTheUniverse Mon 12-Jan-15 21:03:16

YY or classic white van man

Or even buses

People driving larger vehicles drive more aggressively (generalisation!) as in the event of a collision they are probably going to come off better.

OmnipotentQueenOfTheUniverse Mon 12-Jan-15 21:03:57

I mean it's all subconscious, not like people whether walking or driving are usually thinking HA I'm so bif out of my way puny fools.

Maybe some are though grin

DadWasHere Tue 13-Jan-15 04:59:15

So it's a size thing maybe and of course men are generally bigger than women?

I think so, though socially there is a 'privilege acknowledgement' in some cultures where women give way to men and in western cultures there was a 'privilege surrender' which made men step out of the way for women. These days in western societies I think its just mostly size rather than gender. I saw an MRA theory about it that men avoiding other men worked transparently because male oppression fields naturally repel each other.

All in all I find the idea hard to take seriously. If you look out for 'Human Torpedoes' you can spot out various types, the males with the 'Machismo Swag', 'Man on a Mission' and the 'Moving Blockhead'. But, along with that are some others like 'My Beauty Parts the Waters.', the 'March of the Matriarch' and the dreaded 'Full Metal Perambulator' that transports human offspring while emitting a forcefield capable of warding off even 18 wheel trucks.

Amethyst24 Tue 13-Jan-15 11:45:11

I read about this on here a few months ago, and it wasn't something I'd noticed so I made a point of looking out for it, and still haven't noticed it. I think it's because I am tall and have a fast, assertive walk.

The knees on the tube thing though...

FailOfTheCentury Wed 14-Jan-15 21:11:53

I find dancing rather than walking gets people out of your way quite effectively.

Especially if you sing, too.

PasstheDaimbars Thu 15-Jan-15 14:48:07

FailOfTheCentury grin

I read about this a wee while ago at the time I was having mobility issues so didn't want to try it in case I got knocked on my arse.

Am now back to normal and been doing this at work, I'm all nice smiley but professional with it, but it soo throws them. You can actually see the confusion on their faces. As someone said above, they know that something is wrong but cant quite figure it out.

BestIsWest Thu 15-Jan-15 14:59:25

I have posted this on here before. I used to move instinctively out of the way of people coming towards me, man or woman, until the day I stepped off the kerb to make way for someone. Both feet went into a pothole and I broke both ankles. Even after that I still find it hard not to do it. I try to stop dead rather than plough on through if someone shows no sigh of moving. This still completely throws people and is less aggressive.

I'm not convinced it's a size thing. I'm 5'10.

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