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Curious to know if this is what happens with all rape cases?

(24 Posts)
extremepie Mon 15-Dec-14 20:19:39

Sorry, it's kind of a stupid question and more of an Aibu but I'm really upset about this!

I recently read a copy of the police report about my rape. In the report they have written it down as a 'domestic incident'?! I know whole the guy who did it is, as in, I know his name and he isn't a stranger off the street but there was never any relationship of any sort between us, the whole 'domestic incident' makes it sound like a lovers tiff or my boyfriend slapping me.

It wasn't! It was rape! Why aren't they calling it rape?!

It took me a long time to actually report it because I wasn't sure that it was rape but now I know it was and now I've seen that I just feel like it's minimising the whole thing by not calling it that.

It said in the report 'male turned up at address and expected sex then refused to leave. Eventually mother gave in and he left' or something along those lines. No mention of the word rape. Is it just a case of 'innocent until proven guilty' and that's why they aren't calling it rape or is it that they don't believe me?

Just feel like the fact they won't even call it rape means they don't believe me and that nothing will happen now and he'll just get away with it sad

OmnipotentQueenOfTheUniverse Mon 15-Dec-14 20:23:40

That's appalling. So the police report basically minimises what happened as much as it can.

I don't know anything about process with this stuff, unfortunately, whether you can ask them to change it or anything.

How did you come to get a copy? I mean if it was verbatim then that would be one thing but it's not because it's what you said is it, they've listened to you and decided what it was ie a domestic incident and not really too much to worry about with that whole he wanted sex she gave in he left stuff.

FFS I'm really angry on your behalf.

extremepie Mon 15-Dec-14 20:42:34

It's a long story as to why I saw it but it's to do with my ex being arrested :/

I can't remember my exact words when reporting it but I definitely did not say domestic incident! I'm pretty sure I reported it as a rape, obviously I was interviewed and told them the whole story, what was written in the report was a very very condensed version, I just want everyone to be really clear on what happened and what he did!

AskBasil4StuffingRecipe Mon 15-Dec-14 20:44:14

Sorry this has happened to you.

I suspect that yes, it does happen in many cases where police cannot be bothered to investigate and build a case for rape.


PuffinsAreFictitious Mon 15-Dec-14 20:55:45

I'm really sorry this has happened to you.

I'm at a loss for something constructive to say to you.


Wackadoodle Mon 15-Dec-14 21:08:06

I don't know, but my guess would be that even with the best of intentions, they can't call something a "rape" until the accused has been found guilty (?) Even if they used the word, perhaps the most they'd call it is an "alleged rape". Like the way media reports on apprehended criminals are always careful to say "alleged this" and "alleged that".

OmnipotentQueenOfTheUniverse Mon 15-Dec-14 21:25:29

I think that's a very generous idea, wackadoodle.

I don't think the police would be able to get very far at all if they weren't allowed to give names to the crimes that are reported to them.

I do think that the police are allowed to use words like rape, assault, murder burglery and so on. I don't believe that they have to word their reports so as to avoid giving names to any crimes. That would be a terribly circuitous way to go about things.

When I was mugged they used words like theft and assault without any qualms at all.

venusinscorpio Mon 15-Dec-14 21:30:16

Yes, it is an alleged rape. If you've reported something which meets the legal definition of rape, they should have recorded it as such, even if they then decide they can't proceed with an investigation. But it sounds to me like they've "no-crimed" it (not recorded it as a crime).


extremepie Mon 15-Dec-14 21:44:49

Really Venus? Does that mean I don't have a chance sad

OmnipotentQueenOfTheUniverse Mon 15-Dec-14 21:48:54

I don't know if there are any organisations that might know anything about this - rape crisis or women's aid or anything. I really don't know how any of this works. I wish I could help but I just don't know what to suggest.

I suppose ideally you would be able to go back to them and say hold on this report isn't anything like what I said why's that and you need to change it but I don't know whether that's allowed or whether it would get you anywhere or maybe even be more trouble than it's worth.

venusinscorpio Mon 15-Dec-14 21:51:09


I don't know, I'm speculating here really.. have the police said what, if any, next steps they plan to take?

So sorry you're having to go through this. And people wonder why women don't report rape.

venusinscorpio Mon 15-Dec-14 21:54:15

Agree with the suggestion to contact a rape charity. They may be able to advise you what your options are (if any) or point you to someone who can.

extremepie Mon 15-Dec-14 22:04:48

Ok thanks smile

They are interviewing him today, they did say he would be arrested and the PC will update me when she gets a chance smile

Mengog Tue 16-Dec-14 00:09:30

It might be a crime report or an incident report written up before police had spoken to you.

When you reported the rape the call taker may have written "domestic incident" as the heading for the call log. It can't be changed. For example I've seen a murder that was titled "loud party".

If he is being arrested, he will be arrested for rape and it will be taken seriously.

extremepie Tue 16-Dec-14 01:14:39

Phew! Ok thanks Mengog I was just really worried they didn't think I was telling thd truth :/

Redglitter Tue 16-Dec-14 01:54:39

don't panic. When someone calls to report an incident the call taker puts the details on the call and has to select an initial report code. In the force I'm with they tend to sometimes be over zealous with Domestic incident coding - which is no bad thing in itself. An incident involving a male & female will be classed as a domestic initially despite any evidence theyre a couple. Once officers check further then incidents will be recoded appropriately. It's probable that yours has been initially put on as a domestic but is obviously a lot more serious something it sounds like the police are acknowledging if they're arresting him. As another poster said the loud party/murder example is a good one. Don't worry yet. Wait til you hear from the police after the arrest and if you're not happy escalate things.

The initial coding isn't important. How your report is being handled is far more important

SabrinaMulhollandJjones Tue 16-Dec-14 02:02:47

That must have been horrible to read, extremepie. thanks

HouseWhereNobodyLives Tue 16-Dec-14 09:25:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HouseWhereNobodyLives Tue 16-Dec-14 09:27:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HouseWhereNobodyLives Tue 16-Dec-14 09:35:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HouseWhereNobodyLives Tue 16-Dec-14 09:51:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mengog Tue 16-Dec-14 10:38:12

A crime of Rape will be reported. A domestic incident is not a crime. A rape may have a domestic background but the crime is Rape.

I can't be 100% sure what the OP read. However, if it's the initial call log, or how the call taker coded the incident it is so small in the grand scheme of things it's not even relevant.

Sometimes initial logs can be inaccurate or misleading. The police then talk to the person and get the full story. Do not worry.

The heading was "a noisy party" but by the 2nd page it was clear the person was reporting a serious assault which ultimately led to a death. Call taker got the wrong idea initially. They are not police officers.

HouseWhereNobodyLives Tue 16-Dec-14 10:45:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HouseWhereNobodyLives Tue 16-Dec-14 10:49:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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