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Lurker No More! I'm an official convert <waves>

(14 Posts)
50ShadesofNope Wed 19-Nov-14 23:55:00

Hi all!

I'm a long time FWR lurker and have finally decided to stop being scared silly, and just to post. Basically I just want to say a huge thank you to everyone that contributes to these threads - you've completely opened my eyes and given me an entirely new outlook on feminism and my place in the world as a woman.

Sexism has always played on my mind, but until I started reading these threads I could never quite articulate why, it all just seemed so ingrained and normal. I could argue about how unfair it was that my earning potential was always going to be less than my male counterparts for no reason other than I was lacking in the penis department, but couldn't talk about the negatives or the porn industry, or the impact of intense gendering of children's clothes and toys, or why it was so detrimental to society seeing men walking around in the street wearing Tshirts emblazoned with women in the underwear splashed across the front, without coming across as hysterical or relying on "it's sexist, why can't you see that?!" because it's never sexist is it? It's just a laugh, or banter, or freedom of expression, or any of the other idiotic and flawed reasons misogynists come up with to justify their behaviour.

I knew it was wrong and had to change, but simply didn't have the knowledge of the subject to back me up. But thanks to you wonderful bunch I've learned how to challenge this behaviour in a way that doesn't make me feel like I'm overreacting to nothing. I can structure my reasoning and discuss it in a calm manner, which, as I've discovered, is much more effective than anything else when dealing with goady men that just want to pull you into a fight.

More than that, you've shown me just how blinkered I was by the patriarchy before, and you've helped me enlighten others and convince them that feminism isn't some scary concept perpetuated by man-hating women with a desire to instate some sort of Amazonian matriarchy designed to keep men in cages for our own amusement, but an entirely necessary movement to help women AND men take steps to improving the world we live in.

So yes, THANK YOU! No doubt I'll be seeing you all around the boards (and this time you'll realise I'm here too!)

50ShadesofNope Wed 19-Nov-14 23:56:18

That was longer than I expected...

Short version: Hi everyone! Decided to come out of hiding to thank you all for everything you've taught me so far, and I'm looking forward to being a more active part of the board.

PuffinsAreFicticious Wed 19-Nov-14 23:57:06

Welcome! Come over to the pub and join in. Glad to have you here.

<waves to the other lurkers>

AWholeLottaNosy Thu 20-Nov-14 00:01:45

Good for you! Sometimes I wonder about why I post on here as there seems so few people compared to the rest of the site but I know there are lots of people who are reading what we say even if they don't post. Welcome, and I hope you join us to debate these issues that affect all women! smile

50ShadesofNope Thu 20-Nov-14 00:02:04

Thank you. I've always wondered about venturing into the pub - better late than never.

50ShadesofNope Thu 20-Nov-14 00:04:07

Thanks Nosy. I can imagine it must be strange posting to what seems like the same group of people over and over, but I'm glad you do because we're all out there, lurking and learning!

AWholeLottaNosy Thu 20-Nov-14 00:27:05

I remember when Buffy posted a thread asking how many women lurked in here and I was amazed, and heartened how many women were reading these threads even if they weren't posting. Made me realise how important it was to do so, just to raise awareness and talk about stuff that isn't always talked about in this way in the general media.

SconeRhymesWithGone Thu 20-Nov-14 00:36:09

Hi, 50Shades I lurked for nearly two years before I joined. FWR (or just "F" I guess, now that MN has changed the name) is a great place. Welcome!

YonicScrewdriver Thu 20-Nov-14 00:36:24


50ShadesofNope Thu 20-Nov-14 00:42:47

Funnily enough I lurked on that thread Nosy - I don't know what it was stopping me from posting. It was never to do with aggression or intimidating behaviour from people on here though, it was more to do with me wanting to gain enough knowledge to feel like I could give a valid contribution to the discussion that hadn't already been given much more eloquently than someone else. It was a lot easier to read at my own pace and run off and google as and when I needed that trying to keep up then posting "can someone explain what X means?" constantly! Then I took a little break and now here I am smile

Thanks Yonic and SconeRhymesWithGone!

Pastmyduedate0208 Thu 20-Nov-14 04:58:49

This board is great. You won't get many posts from me outside of the "Yes, what that person said!" variety as i am not full of original knowledge...
But lurking here has been one of the finest educations.

diggerdigsdogs Thu 20-Nov-14 05:59:00

I love this section too but rarely post.

So many bright, fascinating and wonderfully kind women.

A few years ago DH did something awful and the level of support I received still warms my heart.

It's the very best of the vipers IMO.

Zazzles007 Thu 20-Nov-14 10:15:09

Welcome 50Shades and digger. Always great to see more feminists posting on this board smile

peachgirl Thu 20-Nov-14 12:15:09

I've just made my first 'serious' contribution to this board, and I'm feeling nervous about the outcome! - but thank you to all the feminists who regularly contribute to this board and increase my both my feminist knowledge and my feminist rage (which is a good thing!). I'm very grateful for the ongoing education that you provide to lurkers like me.

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