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I am annoyed about films

(7 Posts)
EhricLovesTheBhrothers Mon 10-Nov-14 22:38:07

For some reason, probably because I don't watch many romances these days, I have only just noticed how bloody quickly characters 'fall in love' in films. I have recently watched four weddings (guy jilts his bride at the alter for a woman he shagged twice) and how to lose a guy in ten days (they fall in love in ten days, 9 of which are under false pretences)
I'm annoyed that this was never obvious to me before and annoyed that this idea of 'love' being something that happens almost instantly is being peddled to young women daily. And the insidious effect that this message has when it comes to approaching relationships, being picky, testing partners out before committing etc.
it's all very annoying.

Amethyst24 Mon 10-Nov-14 23:44:57

I know what you mean. I don't really watch films much, but I write romance novels and so I read those quite a bit for research purposes (no, honest!). I think there's a problem in the genre in that fancying someone is conflated with falling in love.

It's not a new thing - I know when I was growing up I totally confused sexual desire with luuurve/wanting a relationship. It led me down the wrong path many a time - if I'd thought just shagging them and getting them out of my system was the thing to do, I'd have done it. But instead I shagged them then pissed about in non-relationships with them that were going nowhere. Big mistake.

But it's a trope of the genre - desire = passion = love. And in real life, that very seldom works. I try to tease that out in my books.

zippey Tue 11-Nov-14 00:18:34

Is this not emulating real life though? Some couples fall in love and have relationships relatively quickly.

Watch Remains Of The Day if you want a romance that takes a while to bloom. Or Frozen, where there is a twist in the falling in love quickly trope. Or The Office where the romance just drags on for two series.

SpiritedQuill Tue 11-Nov-14 00:32:32

I get annoyed about it too sometimes, though obviously there is a limit to how realistic films can be in 90-120 mins.

I rather like "Must Love Dogs" because it feels a bit more 'real' for want of a better word. Partly because she doesn't immediately fall for the male lead, and goes on plenty of dates, and has real emotions around that dating I think. He falls for her in a fairly big way though his characterisation is of being a romantic about more than relationships, and even he has at least one other date. She also has friends and family relationships and seems a well rounded character to me.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Tue 11-Nov-14 06:43:59

I don't think it emulates real life at all. I don't think love happens after ten days, I think that's a really dangerous message to propagate. Yes it is a trope of the genre it's just bizarre how accepted it is in romance films. It's old too - some like it not is another I watched recently, Sugar falls for Tony Curtis after a few days spent with him when he's pretending to be a woman, and one night when he's pretending to be a rich guy. So no actual time getting to know each other at all, but this is perfectly fine and romantic. I can't believe I never noticed it before, but just accepted it confused

MyEmpireOfDirt Tue 11-Nov-14 06:48:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YonicScrewdriver Tue 11-Nov-14 06:55:48

Agree, Ehric. 3-6 months of dating before people fall in love would be better...

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