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I have known too many bad men

(17 Posts)
FayKorgasm Sun 09-Nov-14 08:59:55

I posted a thread yesterday and it got me thinking about the men I have known throughout my life. Sadly I have been treated bad,abused and raped by the majority of them. Thats quite sad really. I really am Ms Average,nothing remarkable about my upbringing or life. I can see why some women are anti men and feel a little bit like that myself sometimes.

FloraFox Sun 09-Nov-14 14:39:33

thanks I'm sorry you've had these awful experiences. You're right that this is not remarkable which is a very sorry state of affairs.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist Sun 09-Nov-14 14:58:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FayKorgasm Sun 09-Nov-14 15:37:58

I dont know how to think these thoughts,I think thats the problem. I posted the thread yesterday which kinda had my brain whirring and then a friend and I were discussing another friend who recently got engaged after being widowed a few years ago. I said that if dh died I don't think I would bother with another man. Dh is a good man but the only good one in a long line of bad ones. I couldn't articulate why though. I think I have had my fill of men in my life if anyone can understand that. I have friends,good family,my dc,lots of hobbies and I enjoy my own company. I don't have the energy to deal with another bad man.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist Sun 09-Nov-14 15:45:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FayKorgasm Sun 09-Nov-14 16:28:14

Its good to know I am not alone in my contentedness Buffy thanks . Or is it weariness at the world and its badness.

I wonder if many women will ask themselves that question as morbid as it is.

FayKorgasm Sun 09-Nov-14 16:40:07

Everyday I read the news or on MN or in my own social circle there is badness by men to women. Now I am not saying that women don't do bad things but that is not what is being discussed.
You are right Buffy marriage and getting the prince is not the ultimate goal but its pushed because marriage fares better for men statistically.

Joe3578 Sun 09-Nov-14 17:30:05

I'm a man. But whenever I open a newspaper, turn on the news or read a comment like this I can't help but think there's something seriously wrong with a significant number of them. Sorry to hear about how dreadfully you've been treated.

FayKorgasm Sun 09-Nov-14 23:02:10

Thanks Joe. I don't want to sound self pitying,I am at peace with all that has happened. Its good to know that you are affected by the male to female crime.

Dervel Mon 10-Nov-14 00:38:41

I second Joe's sentiment.

SparkyLark Thu 13-Nov-14 11:26:25

Yes, I also agree marriage and relationships are "pushed" for women.

I've even had a counsellor say to me "its all about relationships you know". Really? I can think of many other good things in life.

I am very sorry read your post Fay, but I am glad you are making or have made peace with it. That probably reflects your own beauty and maturity.

Callani Thu 13-Nov-14 15:56:54

Sparky - I think it can be all about relationships, it just doesn't necessarily mean that it has to be about romantic relationships.

Like Fay I met a number of unpleasant men before meeting DP but I found my strength in relationships from my female friends and these are friendships that I hold very dear to me. I think that having a good network of friends and neighbours and acquaintances is key to feeling supported and secure - when DP is away (for weeks at a time) I can spend a day almost entirely alone but I'll wave to a neighbour that I pass and I'll recognise families so I can be on my own without feeling lonely. I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all.

Mind you, I'm probably just a crazy feminist because I'd be quite happy retiring to an arty female commune in the south of France!

ArgyMargy Thu 13-Nov-14 16:03:26

Really, you have been badly treated, abused or raped by the majority of men you have known? Do you mean men that you have had relationships with or men that you have known? Surely there is a massive difference.

FuckOffGerbil Thu 13-Nov-14 16:19:36

Yes, there is a massive difference, it's much worse if the people who are meant to love and care for you treat you like shit than randoms.

FayKorgasm Thu 13-Nov-14 16:29:14

Men that I have known Argy. Male relatives,male friends,men I have had relationships with. Maybe I am a beacon for bad men. Regardless that is my experience.

I do think relationships with people are important and do not always mean romantic relationships.
Thanks for the insights,I have done a lot of thinking.

ArgyMargy Thu 13-Nov-14 17:33:09


I too am very sorry that this is your experience. I can't imagine how you feel.

FayKorgasm Thu 13-Nov-14 18:05:45

Please don't be sorry Argy I really am at peace with everything. smile

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