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Why a lot of women don't come on the feminism threads...

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Scarletohello Thu 30-Oct-14 22:38:02

So I posted this question earlier, why don't more women come on these threads ( considering how many women are on MN)

The replies saddened me. Are we doing something wrong? I remember a thread some time ago asking how many women lurk on the feminism threads but never post. I was shocked by how many women read these threads but didn't feel able to join in. I don't think feminism has to be particularly intellectual and I would like to be able to educate more women about feminism, how it affects women in many different areas of their lives, offer support and talk about what we as women can do about it.

Please have a read of this thread and tell me what your thoughts are. I want us to be as inclusive as possible as it affects us all...

thatstoast Thu 30-Oct-14 22:41:41

I've just posted in the bluestocking to confirm my feminist leanings.

I try not to post in AIBU. What I find hilarious is that everyone over there is saying all the feminists over here are 'intimidating'. That's quite something when you consider AIBU reputation.

BonaDea Thu 30-Oct-14 22:42:57

How patronising. People aren't put off because it's 'too intellectual', they are put off by the sheer aggression demonstrated by some regulars which results in many threads degenerating into a horrible atmosphere.

Frankly your assertion that we just can't keep up is typical of the superior tone I just don't like in this topic.

theposterformallyknownas Thu 30-Oct-14 22:47:04


Is it here here or hear hear - I dunno I'm not intellectual.

over here or I hear?

Scarletohello Thu 30-Oct-14 22:48:25

Here's an active thread if the original one didn't work.

I never said people couldn't 'keep up', I was paraphrasing what some people said about why they didn't post on these boards, ie that THEY didn't feel able to join in the debate. I really want us to have an inclusive discussion and hopefully those of us that know some useful stuff can help educate those that aren't so aware. There's nothing patronising in my intent. We all have useful experiences and insights to share and learn from.

edwinbear Thu 30-Oct-14 22:48:59

I don't need to be educated about feminism thanks.

Hassled Thu 30-Oct-14 22:49:02

There's intimidating and then there's intimidating, though - one doesn't generally feel out of one's depth in AIBU.

I'm a Feminist lurker, and I'm immensely grateful to the people who do post there because I've learnt a lot, and it's given me the ability to start to articulate how angry I feel about misogyny in society. Maybe you need to redefine people who "come on the threads" - there are far more of us reading and learning than there are posting. And isn't that enough?

CheeseEqualsHappiness Thu 30-Oct-14 22:49:14

I did find the boards scary until I read through lots and started posting here and there.

It can be an angry board but there is a lot to be angry about, so I get it.

The only thing I would say is that it can be intimidating as if someone gets something wrong or the wrong end of the stick, or phrases something wrong, it can get a bit patronising.

AgentProvocateur Thu 30-Oct-14 22:50:21

I agree with BonaDea - it's not your "intellect" that's off-putting, it's the aggression and the condescending tone of many of the posts.

grocklebox Thu 30-Oct-14 22:50:24

maybe its the asking people a question and then talking about what they say in a different section bit? hmm TAAT are frowned upon.

You're patronising and rude. take it as a hint.

PhaedraIsMyName Thu 30-Oct-14 22:51:34

I suppose because notwithstanding posting opinions on internet forums is one of my favourite wastes of time, trying to drum up an opinion on topics "cissexism" is wasting more time than I care to.

ZombiePuffinsAreREAL Thu 30-Oct-14 22:51:41

Eeek! Tend not to venture into AIBU. It's a bit of a bunfight, and I have been patronised and ridiculed for saying the 'wrong' thing. Sorry. Here is comfy, people explain things if you don't get it and the women are incredibly supportive.

Scarletohello Thu 30-Oct-14 22:52:05

I'm really glad people lurk on these threads, I admit I've learnt a lot myself. I hope people feel confident enough to come on here, ask questions, share their experiences and educate others.

JubJubBirds Thu 30-Oct-14 22:52:15

'I try not to post in AIBU. What I find hilarious is that everyone over there is saying all the feminists over here are 'intimidating'. That's quite something when you consider AIBU reputation.'

Toast*, can you break this down for me a little more? Atm I'm assuming you mean that you refuse to believe FWR is more intimidating than AIBU despite people explaining that that is exactly how they feel.

If you're shouting people down for expressing their feelings/opionions then aren't you already proving that FWR is an intimidating place to be? And on the 2nd post of the thread no less!

whatdoesittake48 Thu 30-Oct-14 22:58:07

I have been a feminist since I was a teenager and even studied it at university but I still struggle to keep up with some of the conversations on here. But I don't for one minute feel like my contributions are not worth my time. People have always been friendly and kind. Intellectual snobs are something that feminists should never be and that is not the impression I get on this board. Feminism is about inclusion for me.

SevenZarkSeven Thu 30-Oct-14 23:00:55


People didn't like it before there was a separate fwr board

People don't like it now there is a separate fwr board

We went through all this at the time!

I think having a separate board has worked out well. Personally.

It comes up periodically the idea that it's a bit scary here. And people think what can be done - the pub or chat or hello and welcome threads come out of it and they work really well.

I don't find it scary here :D and remember some of those saying ooh it's horrid over there are anti feminist anyway.

You can't please all of the people all of the time, basically.

I'm not really sure what prompted you to start the thread in aibu though!

BiWitched Thu 30-Oct-14 23:01:51

I love the fact that there's a space for us to discuss feminism on MN.


A lot of people come here for reasons other than to be educated. And your OP is hugely patronising in this regard.

What's wrong with being here to discuss last night's telly, how you're getting along with your diet or, heaven forbid, asking for help with your relationship?

There's a lot more to MN than the FWR boards.

BonaDea Thu 30-Oct-14 23:04:28

Aaaarrrggghhhh. Are fans of the board deliberately missing the point.

This is not, NOT about the apparent intellectual nature of the threads. I think I can just about keep up with you. Ahem. I have seen little or no evidence of it being particularly high brow. Just shouty, quichey and really rather rude.

Won't any of you address that point?

SevenZarkSeven Thu 30-Oct-14 23:06:18

I mean, scary? Dittany isn't even here any more! Those were the days: D

Tbh not all threads are for everyone, but it's easy enough to not click on those isn't it? I don't click on the intellectual ones as I have literally no idea what anyone is taking about. I don't mind them chatting about it though, let them get on with it really.

I do think that mn has a certain flavour on the fwr boards but that's just the way it is, how the posters feel. I don't think posters should have to bit e their tongues on things they feel strongly about in order to be more welcoming, surely.

honeysucklejasmine Thu 30-Oct-14 23:07:24

I read them a lot and enjoy learning, but I do struggle sometimes with the linguistics. When i saw the thread about fgm being cissexist, i didn't get outraged, i wondered wtf cissexist means... I tried the literal translation and it didn't really help. Maybe I'm a moron (I'm not!) but I'd really appreciate a glossary to make me feel more secure until i become an expert. smile

TheBogQueen Thu 30-Oct-14 23:08:09

It all seems very abstract to me. There is a fair amount of intellectual masturbation. There is also a lot of discussion which appears to be more about fairly niche aspects of feminism which are the produce of online battles among feminists on other sites.

It's hard to take. Especially when you work nightshifts and weekends because you cannot afford childcare. You then struggle with ft work because there is no breakfast/after school club.

To me battling for affordable childcare, fair pay and criminal justice issues are what feminism is about.

This board addresses different issues and that's fine. But it doesn't interest me.

thatstoast Thu 30-Oct-14 23:08:53

Well I'll start by saying that I've posted in this section very little. So please don't hold me up as being representative of these boards. I do read this section and AIBU and I feel that AIBU is more intimidating. So, if people who post over there feel intimidated here then that's surprising to me. That's what I was trying to express and I'm really confused that it read as me trying to shout people down because that's not something I would do.

ZombiePuffinsAreREAL Thu 30-Oct-14 23:09:58

Bona, I'd love to help, but it's not been my experience.

I tend to giggle inappropriately at things. I try not to be rude, or shouty.


honeysucklejasmine Thu 30-Oct-14 23:10:24

Essentially i feel that you lot get outraged by things i've never even heard of sometimes. Which males me feel silly, so i don't post.

SevenZarkSeven Thu 30-Oct-14 23:10:58

Bona people who feel comfortable and welcomed here, as many do, are not going to be able to answer your question.

For me, I do not recognise your description of this topic or the posters on it at all.

You also say people who post here are rude, and then strongly imply that people who post here are a bit thick. That feels quite rude really.

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