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Little or big feministy things you can do to help

(182 Posts)
BriarRainbowshimmer Mon 27-Oct-14 10:08:27

I got the idea on the thread where people said they felt sad and overwhelmed by all the sexism everywhere, I feel the same. But surely there are things we all can do.

So let's brainstorm!
I'll start
#1. Donate to Women's Aid

Violetcloud Mon 27-Oct-14 13:00:12

We seem to be at the same stage here grin

I have no idea what to do to change things, but also feel that donating to Women's Aid is a good first step.

#2 Challenge sexism whenever you encounter it. Eg, when hearing sexist comments

It'll be interesting to hear from others

messyisthenewtidy Mon 27-Oct-14 14:16:55

#3 reclaim the word "woman". It shouldn't be an insult FFS!

KarmaViolet Mon 27-Oct-14 14:37:45

#4 reclaim the word "feminist" which is also not an insult!

Or, if preferred


Notmymonkeys Mon 27-Oct-14 14:40:15

# Support other women. Stop criticising their choices, and start criticising the patriarchy that constrains those choices.

Notmymonkeys Mon 27-Oct-14 14:40:53

#5! I have fat fingers today smile

cailindana Mon 27-Oct-14 14:41:42

#5 Value your female friends, support them, enjoy them, big them up, celebrate all of their achievements, bask in the true beauty of women, the beauty that's been hidden and devalued and stolen.

This, for me, has been the true joy of being a feminist.

cailindana Mon 27-Oct-14 14:42:07

Xpost Notmy smile


messyisthenewtidy Mon 27-Oct-14 14:50:44

#when other people say they're NOT feminists look at them hmm as if they must be from another planet.

BriarRainbowshimmer Mon 27-Oct-14 14:54:57

Haha! Nice pic Karma

ChunkyPickle Mon 27-Oct-14 14:55:02

Start young - keep your interactions with children gender neutral - don't restrict toy choices, talk to them about things rather than praise girls prettiness/boys strength.

Notmymonkeys Mon 27-Oct-14 15:06:07

Following on from chunky - raise your sons to be feminists, as well as your daughters!

BertieBotts Mon 27-Oct-14 15:11:24

#6 When you meet a little girl (or a teenage girl, but it seems so automatic with little ones) resist the urge to tell her how cute/pretty she is or otherwise comment on her appearance including clothes. Instead ask her a question about something interesting.

Scarletohello Mon 27-Oct-14 15:13:14

Start a feminist book club?

Lottapianos Mon 27-Oct-14 15:39:02

Love that one Bertie - I have caught myself out doing that very thing with little girls!

Link to and share good feminist stuff on social media

I work with parents and early years professionals and I constantly challenge their sexist nonsense about boys not playing with dolls and girls not wanting to run around

Greengrow Mon 27-Oct-14 15:49:27

Never let any instance of sexism pass you by without at least some comment disputing the assumption of the person making the sexist comment.

maui50 Mon 27-Oct-14 15:56:03

To continue from #1, donate to, or work with, charities supporting the progress of women and girls e.g. Karma Nirvana and Platform51.

Buy your own flowers (and send your DH flowers on Valentine's day).

And finally, be a role model for girls - "get up get out and do something". If you don't work outside the home, do something with your life that is more than purely being a mum and a wife and a housewife such as further study, charity work or starting a new business. Be the best woman you can be (and in front of your DCs, comment on women you admire and why you admire them - not necessarily famous women but even grandmas and aunties).

GlitterIsJustVampireAsh Mon 27-Oct-14 15:59:31

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

suethebastards Mon 27-Oct-14 16:16:03

Thanks for starting this thread, OP.

An issue I have is identifying sexist things that happen and so being able to tackle them. There are some very obvious examples of sexist behaviour (e.g. telling my daughter she's pretty and my son he's clever or men making comments about how you look etc.) which I always make an effort to tackle and, indeed, have lost a few friends through doing so.

My issue is when other things happen which may or may not be sexist. For example, a woman in the changing rooms of my gym telling me I have a great body this morning (not a stealth boast I promise!). I'm torn you see because if a man said that to me I'd be steaming and asking why they feel they have the right to comment on my body etc. But because it came from a woman then does that make it ok? It's still not ok to pass judgment on another person's body is it? Moreover, she was still judging me on my body, the way I looked which we rally against men doing. And isn't her framework of what makes my body 'look good' constrained by patriarchy and a male gaze anyway? My body only 'looks good' because patriarchy tell us that tall, slim women are the optimal and, therefore, valuable. But I said 'thank you' to this woman and only when I went on my way did I question whether this was the right response. I don't want to lecture women in the gym changing rooms but, on the other hand, should I?

DemisRoussos Mon 27-Oct-14 16:19:48

Get involved in community governance and local politics. Use this as a platform to champion the needs of women and girls.

CheeseEqualsHappiness Mon 27-Oct-14 16:22:34

Great thread

Tackle roles in your home - I finally got through to dp that he wasn't 'helping me' when he was doing the housework

Gina111 Mon 27-Oct-14 16:25:04

Excellent suggestions of day to day interactions and challenges above. And educate fathers on Bertie's point.

On a national level donate some of your time to helping organisations such as Everyday Sexism which amongst other things helps raise awareness of sexism through school visits.

Also nationally bring to governments attention via petition and other means, the current aggressive sexism operating at universities and demand national debate/ research / action.

Internationally support charities which work towards providing education for girls.

theressomethingaboutmarie Mon 27-Oct-14 16:25:10

Talk about your body positively but don't focus upon it. Talk about healthy eating and exercise but only in terms of it making you feel good, rather than on how it makes you look. Answer questions from your children about your body and if you're comfortable doing so, don't be afraid of being naked around your kids.

suethebastards Mon 27-Oct-14 16:26:37

cheese YES YES YES! And with other family members. My mum drives me up the wall when I say 'we've got all the housework to do' and she replies with 'awww, but DH will help you won't he?'

NO, FUCK OFF. Every fucking time.

MardyBra Mon 27-Oct-14 16:27:51

Vote in elections.

And preferably not for those sexist bastards in UKIP.

Great thread idea btw.

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