I'm interested in your thoughts on how these fit together. Particularly whether you worry about others' opinions, follow trends that look good (however you define good), like compliments, hate compliments, etc.
I currently live in a country where I flinch pretty much every time I see a billboard or a TV ad, because they're all so gut-wrenchingly sexist and objectifying of the women. Basically any notionally "feminine" product (e.g. washing up liquid) will get the pretty girl a husband, any notionally "masculine" product (e.g. house masonry) will make the fit bloke be surrounded by sexy adoring girls, and any product that just can't really be male or female has an anorexic model draped over it in a suggestive pose anyway.
This country is also astonishingly sexist just in everyday dealings. They like to think of themselves as having traditional manners and being romantics, but to me a lot of it comes across as inappropriate boundary-setting and unthinking sexism of the sort that I found annoying in my grandparents' friends when I was about 8. This is a first-world country remarkably close to the UK but with remarkably different attitudes.
I have had a lot of flak from the locals because I don't wear makeup, don't shave my forearms, don't have plucked eyebrows, and don't dress like a woman "should". I fit in totally fine and look normal in the UK by the way! I get comments on my appearance probably about once a week on average.
The only positive comments I've had have been two occasions where I've got sunburnt and men have approvingly said "oh, you've tanned yourself, you look a bit healthier, less pasty, did you go to a salon?". To me that feels creepily intrusive, and my impulse was to say "I'm not asking for your opinion on my appearance thanks". I didn't say anything as I suspect they were trying to be nice to what they regard as a lost cause.
Mumsnetters, please lend me your thoughts and theoretical frameworks to help me put up with these people! (I do also realise I could be coming across as a bit unreconstructedly Germaine Greer. I recognise the theoretical value of third-wave feminism. I honestly just don't get fourth-wave feminism, though I do try hard not to squint disapprovingly at it from beneath my monobrow...)
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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions
Feminism, femininity, objectification and sexism - and women self-defining by others' opinions of their appearance?
19 replies
kiritekanawa · 17/08/2014 14:05
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