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Stop telling women to smile!

(71 Posts)
BuffytheReasonableFeminist Fri 07-Mar-14 20:00:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker Fri 07-Mar-14 20:01:33

grin <~~~ smiling

"it might never happen"

It just did, fuckwit.

GarthsUncle Sat 08-Mar-14 00:42:52

That's ace.

LegoCaltrops Sat 08-Mar-14 00:47:56


"It might never happen"

That's the damned problem.

Pinkandwhite Sat 08-Mar-14 01:06:03

Love it! I find it so irritating when men say this.

caramelwaffle Sat 08-Mar-14 01:20:20

I like the look of that project.

Thank you for highlighting this.

NigellasDealer Sat 08-Mar-14 01:20:56

'cheer up lav, it migh' neva 'appen' angry

CaptChaos Sat 08-Mar-14 02:15:11

I found the best thing to do was to be over 40. You disappear then, either that or I have an invisibility cloak.

Hated it when I was younger, all that testosterone and male entitlement. Great campaign.

NigellasDealer Sat 08-Mar-14 02:16:49

so true captchaos, at the age of 49 nobody has said this annoying thing to me for years! particularly this year I seem to have donned an invisibility cloak unless the guy is over 80 grin

JustDanni Sat 08-Mar-14 09:32:35

I'm sorry. But this is stupid.
I tell men to smile. Do I mean anything by it? No.
Stop acting like things are harder because you are women. I'm doing just fine.
Maybe feminists are making the problem.

HalfSpamHalfBrisket Sat 08-Mar-14 09:36:11

Danni -do you really walk past random men in the street and say 'cheer up luv, it may never happen?'

stinkingbishop Sat 08-Mar-14 09:37:56

Love it. I hate it, all the false bonhomie which is clouding the fact that, because they're men, they think they have the right to talk to you, make you look a certain way, perform for them. It's closet objectification. I feel awkward, embarrassed, and sometimes slightly threatened. And justdanni I really doubt it somehow.

JustDanni Sat 08-Mar-14 09:39:13

If I'm at work and someone seems to be having a hard day then yes. I will make the effort to engage a conversation and quite often "smile" is what I open with. not everyone is out to objectify us as women.

HalfSpamHalfBrisket Sat 08-Mar-14 09:43:18

No Danni, this is about speaking to strangers in the street, not someone at work or in the context of a business transaction.
So would you spot a man as you are walking along the street think, hmm! and then tell him to smile?

pacificjade Sat 08-Mar-14 09:44:17

JustDanni if I was having a bad day at work, the last thing I'd want is a colleague telling me to smile - male or female.

stinkingbishop Sat 08-Mar-14 09:46:31

If someone I worked with was visibly morose I like to think I'd have the social skills to ask them what was wrong and if I could help, rather than just ordering them to smile!

And justdanni this is about walking past removal men/roadworkers/people outside a pub and them leering and telling you to cheer up. It's unasked, unwanted and intrusive.

JustDanni Sat 08-Mar-14 09:47:22

If he looked like he needed cheering up then yes.
It seems this is all about blowing things our of proportion and reacting to perfectly innocent statements.

stinkingbishop Sat 08-Mar-14 09:48:29

I have NEVER walked past a group of women and been ordered to 'smile love/pet/hen/princesss!'

pacificjade Sat 08-Mar-14 09:49:18

Totally agree with the age thing as well. I'm in my 40's and it rarely happens to me now.

JustDanni Sat 08-Mar-14 09:49:51

I get the impression you all enjoy being angry and hateful and will use any excuse to kick off.
Its not like they are leering up our skirts (not that you wear them)
They are being friendly.
There is a difference and it would seem to me you are all a little over sensitive and enjoy being pissed off at the world.

stinkingbishop Sat 08-Mar-14 09:52:43

justdanni just seen your messages on the constipation in pregnancy thread. Bless you; you are full of it...

slug Sat 08-Mar-14 09:54:55

And I get the impression you are deeply uncomfortable at having your assumptions challenged. ... Just saying.....

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Sat 08-Mar-14 09:55:43

How do you know that someone who looks unhappy does not have a reason for looking unhappy?

Cheer up / give us a smile / what's the sad face for / chin up...

well actually, I just lost my baby / my dad just died / I just got the sack / my mum is very ill / my partner just dumped me...

When you don't know what's going on in someone's life it is stupid to go round telling them to look happy. Why should someone plaster a smile on their face? Because a smile is nicer for other people to look at?

I can't imagine telling someone to smile for me, only to discover they are preoccupied with some horrible and upsetting personal matter and I have just tried to get them to grin for me cos I think grinning faces look nicer.

People have the right to not smile and when people are not smiling it is normally for a reason!

Lottapianos Sat 08-Mar-14 09:56:08

JustDanni, I think you should leave people alone instead of making ridiculous fatuous comments - that goes for MN as well as real life. You're clearly on here with an agenda. Next you'll be accusing us all of 'overthinking' (my personal favourite)

BuffytheReasonableFeminist Sat 08-Mar-14 09:59:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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