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Do you think people are scared of analysing why we do things?

(29 Posts)
HollyMiamiFLA Thu 13-Feb-14 09:02:39

Not just from a femininst perspective but looking at things that are "traditional" and analysing why we still do them and what they symbolise.

Some people - especially on AIBU - seem to get annoyed if things get challenged and analysed. That's just how we do things.

You can look at so many feminist things - from a wedding service to name changing. And people get so defensive "I don't like my surname anyway"

Or do you think people just don't want to rock any boats?

Martorana Thu 13-Feb-14 09:05:04

The status quo is easy.

People get angry when their assumptions are challenged- it is easier to attack/mock the challenger than question the assumptions.

'twas ever thus.

WoTmania Thu 13-Feb-14 11:30:19

I think many people feel criticised and become defensive when 'what they've always done' is challenged. They also often can't get their heads around the idea that yes it works for them and they are happy and that other people might not want to do things that way iyswim. Because everyone should be like them to validate their feelings/way of doing things.

AskBasil Thu 13-Feb-14 11:32:14

I think some get scared.

And some are just stupid.

EduCated Thu 13-Feb-14 11:37:49

I think it can be difficult to take yourself outside of your own experiences, especially if your happy with those experiences, to see that things could be different. You know how people fall back on 'it's just the way things are', like its unquestionable that they could be different?

I think people can perceive it as an attack as well, like analysing something and finding faults with it automatically makes it bad.

Ages ago there was a thread on here analysing Friends from a feminist perspective. It was absolutely fascinating, both in terms of the discussion, but also the way some posters were really cross about it, the whole 'feminists want to ruin everything' type of stuff. Just because you're analysing it, doesn't mean you're slating it. I can still happily watch Friends, whilst also viewing some of it through a feminist viewpoint. If anything, it makes it more interesting, not less!

It's as though people know that if you analyse it, you'll find faults, but they don't want to acknowledge or accept those faults because it's something they like.

TerrariaMum Thu 13-Feb-14 11:39:02

I think some people have the idea that if you analyse anything, you are automatically saying it is a bad thing. After all, if it was good, it wouldn't need analysis. And they are good people thus they can't do bad things so if x thing that they do needs analysis it is de facto bad and therefore they are bad.

Also, what WoTmania said.

TerrariaMum Thu 13-Feb-14 11:41:14

EduCated, engaging in v. critical analysis of films or television shows is an important part of the way dh and I enjoy them so I agree with you.

MiniTheMinx Thu 13-Feb-14 12:20:42

Its culture init. The way in which things are usually done, the way in which we think and behave, the value we attach to the maintenance and practice of many things we take for granted is comforting. Only when you analyse what seems to be a taken for granted, traditional and generally accepted common sense view of the world does it start to feel unsettling. There is no such thing as true individuality, we are all subjects, fashioned by social processes which exist long before us, handed to us by others who have also failed to adequately question the status quo.

Freyalright Thu 13-Feb-14 13:39:24

No. I don't think so. There is a rich and long history of analysis.

newbieman1978 Thu 13-Feb-14 14:04:13

To be honest "sometimes" "some" feminist can be quite agressive and want everyone to buy into their idea of a feminist utopia.

My wife comes across to many as a pretty hardine feminist however to some she is as far from a feminist as possible because she chooses a marriage that is quite traditional.

Isn't femanism about woman having the same choices as men? and being equal to men?

AskBasil Thu 13-Feb-14 14:08:04

<Sigh>

EduCated Thu 13-Feb-14 14:21:29

And what about the topic of the thread, newbieman, any thoughts on that? Or have you just come to explain feminism to us?

newbieman1978 Thu 13-Feb-14 14:54:26

My typing is terrible today...sorry for my misspelling.

newbieman1978 Thu 13-Feb-14 14:58:17

I'd never imagine I could come an explain feminism.

My input was about the topic. I was merely putting across a veiw as to why some people are defensive when challenged on issues.

newbieman1978 Thu 13-Feb-14 14:58:47

Oh and didn't I ask two questions?

Keepithidden Thu 13-Feb-14 14:58:53

I find change hard work, I like things to remain the same, I like my expectations to be accurate and fulfilled. I don't like my thought processes being challenged and to be found wanting. I don't like my behaviours to be flagged up as prejudcied or bigotted.

I think most people think this way. That's why they don't like being challenged.

To make it worse, when these thoughts/behaviours are analysed and faulted as well as changing I also have to recognise my own weakness, shame and embarassment. It's a double whammy.

'Twas ever thus though, no matter what dodgy thinking or behaviour you apply it to, history is riddled wth people resisting change brought on by objective analysis.

HollyMiamiFLA Thu 13-Feb-14 15:42:20

"Isn't femanism about woman having the same choices as men? and being equal to men?"

And what's that got to do with analysing stuff?

And not just from a feminist viewpoint?

Why do we still have religious worship in schools? Because we do , now be quiet, it's tradition.

Analyse things and some people get uncomfortable. Why do we need to ask someone's title when you order something? Why is it always Mr which comes first?

Why? (channels inner toddler)

AskBasil Thu 13-Feb-14 16:56:31

My feminism's not about equality.

It's about liberation.

greenhill Thu 13-Feb-14 17:13:51

I suppose some people don't like to go out on a limb and challenge tradition because the status quo works for them.

Also some people may not analyse things because they were encouraged to take their parents views when they were a child, because there would be repercussions if they answered back. I come from quite an argumentative household, yet my DF still gets annoyed if me and my DB don't agree with him. He is very dismissive of personal experience, yet cites it regularly as being why he thinks the way he does hmm

projectbabyweight Thu 13-Feb-14 18:41:24

Based on my own family, I think some people who haven't got much confidence in their intelligence feel threatened when you start any sort of analysis type conversation, maybe in case they are exposed as not being able to keep up. Even though often they'd be able to quite easily. Or they don't like it because they think it's boring.

Many members of my family would get defensive, uncomfortable and a bit antagonistic towards me if I started that sort of conversation. Especially women's issues. And remember there's a widespread fear of being rejected by men (and dangerously alone, esp if got dcs) if you appear to be a ferminist.

Also I remember briefly mentioning ID cards to my dsis a while back, and she was quite aggressive in her "why would you object if you've got nothing to hide?!" So I also think there's a bit of fear that it's dangerous to question things, might get you in trouble, etc.

projectbabyweight Thu 13-Feb-14 18:43:01

Sorry, don't know what a "ferminist" is blush

HollyMiamiFLA Thu 13-Feb-14 19:56:17

I got told off and told I must analyse too much with this sign:

Slow down, my daddy works here.

A picture of a pretty, young girl near some road works.

Nothing wrong with the sign - but it says so much about our society.

TerrariaMum Thu 13-Feb-14 20:11:20

Can you elaborate, Holly? Not sure I understand. I won't tell you off, promise.

HollyMiamiFLA Thu 13-Feb-14 20:14:33

Why a pretty young girl? Why not a plain spotty boy?

My daddy works here - true. No women or mums - there might be some but likely to be male.

EduCated Thu 13-Feb-14 21:02:26

True, greenhill, my DGM refuses to allow debates in the house, talk about politics or religion and you get a right scolding. But for my DM, it means she grew up believing that there was one right answer to everything, and that it was whatever DGM said it was. Not in any kind of abusive or neglectful way, just you didn't question your elders.

As such, my DM seems to struggle with healthy debate, and takes any kind of questioning or analysis of her views or things she's said as a direct attack on her personally. More often that not she just falls back on 'well I'm entitled to my opinion'.

I do think societal attitudes towards questioning the status quo make a lot of analysis seem OTT and as being critical of others.

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