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How to challenge the deplorable "she needs a good shag"?

(71 Posts)
MortgageWoes100 Mon 10-Feb-14 06:50:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LunchLadyWannabe Mon 10-Feb-14 06:53:44

I ve said this before about one or two people.

I dont think its offensive, its just a term used for people who are sour faced and uptight.

LunchLadyWannabe Mon 10-Feb-14 06:55:50

And fwiw your not too sensitive at all.

Some people wont mind it, some people will not find that saying appropriate.

bubblesmonkey Mon 10-Feb-14 06:57:04

I disagree lunchlady, it's horrible and rapey and misogynist.
I don't know what to say in that circumstance, but I'd be sure to have a go at the person saying it and then steer all clear of them in future.
I find it really sad that people are so entrenched in our misogynist culture that they genuinely cannot see that it is offensive.

MarjorieAntrobus Mon 10-Feb-14 07:01:29

Yes. What Bubbles said. Exactly.

LunchLadyWannabe Mon 10-Feb-14 07:01:30

I ve known a number of women say it

I ve never heard a man say it though

MortgageWoes100 Mon 10-Feb-14 07:06:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MarjorieAntrobus Mon 10-Feb-14 07:08:55

Yep, I'm astonished too, OP.

SavoyCabbage Mon 10-Feb-14 07:35:09

Yes, what Bubbles said. It's just horrible.

Rooners Mon 10-Feb-14 07:38:26

It's horrible - I challenged it on a 'jokey' thread on here yesterday (the meter reading one) and got short shrift, but I think I made my point.

I don't think I'd be able to be 'friends' with someone who said it tbh.

CuntyBunty Mon 10-Feb-14 07:47:49

Did you Defriend? I am only going to join FB when there is a "Dislike" button and a "You are a twat" button. But I think I'd have no friends on it anyway.

scallopsrgreat Mon 10-Feb-14 08:06:39

I've heard loads of men say this about women they deem 'uptight' LunchLadyWannabe. Its banter innit.

It really puts women in their place doesn't it? Under men. It suggests that men are required to sort women out. And that women need sorting out.

Horribly misogynistic as bubbles said.

LunchLadyWannabe Mon 10-Feb-14 08:12:46


I think your reading far too much into it

Its got nothing to do with women being beneath men, its just a figure of speech thats all.

justshabby Mon 10-Feb-14 08:18:49

I've had it said about me from a female friend at a bar.

The barman was trying to flirt, I'd just gotten to a place where I could go out and enjoy a drink but nowhere near ready to date after getting out of an EA relationship.

So I wasn't reciprocating, cue my "friend" cackling behind me and declaring loudly that I "need a bloody good sorting. "

Made me feel like shit.

SecretRed Mon 10-Feb-14 08:22:33

I've heard it said about men too though.

HesterShaw Mon 10-Feb-14 08:23:32

Where do "just figures of speech" come from though? Many of them come from tradition and custom. And what is the tradition and custom in our society? Keeping women in their place of course.

It's utterly horrible on every level.

scallopsrgreat Mon 10-Feb-14 08:24:28

No I'm not reading too much in to it.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lottapianos Mon 10-Feb-14 09:37:13

Completely agree Bubbles. Its a foul thing to say. I had a female colleague who used to describe our female boss as 'dried up' because she was single and about 30 years older than us. Awful. I did challenge her a couple of times but it didn't make a jot of difference.

The 'just a figure of speech' excuse makes no sense. Would you make that excuse about someone using a racist term to describe another person? Words matter -a lot.

KerryKatonasKhakis Mon 10-Feb-14 13:50:15

Vile 'figure of speech'.

And yuck at the "humorous" notion that it's a penis that needed to positively change someone's personality hmm

ArtetasSwollenAnkle Mon 10-Feb-14 14:39:54

It is hateful if you take the standpoint that sex is always forced upon someone else, as opposed to a mutually desirable act. Or if you take the view that women can never truly consent to sex due to power imbalance within a heterosexual relationship. The second point is something I have seen proposed by someone who's name escapes me - was it Dworkin?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RiaOverTheRainbow Mon 10-Feb-14 14:58:44

It's never said in the same tone as "she needs a holiday" is it? It's sneering.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LunchLadyWannabe Mon 10-Feb-14 15:41:21

The less bad one is that good sex is pleasant and relaxing, which can help someone who is stressed to chill out

Thats exactly what i think most people mean when they say it.

I dont think its meant in an offensive way.

To be honest, im not a feminist, so dont really get my knickers in a twist over things like this.

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