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Not sure if Feminism/women's rights but hey ho!

(24 Posts)
BerstieSpotts Tue 22-Oct-13 08:48:58

If they were in fashion a few years ago, charity shops might be worth a go.

NoComet Mon 21-Oct-13 23:55:09

Also google first ever woman to conduct last night of the proms, she wasn't in a dress.

NoComet Mon 21-Oct-13 23:53:49

needs smarter leggings

pretty cream shirt

NoComet Mon 21-Oct-13 23:40:20

Unfortunately for the less girly, dresses seem to have come back in fashion. A few years ago, finding a party dress was like finding hens teeth.

Trouble is girls and women are supposed to be sheep and all want to wear what's in fashion this year. Tough luck if you don't like it or it doesn't suit you.

BerstieSpotts Mon 21-Oct-13 23:37:08

Think about the kind of thing that men wear in these concerts - usually smart black trousers and a plain black or white shirt if they don't go for full black tie.

BerstieSpotts Mon 21-Oct-13 23:36:18

Ooh yes the first one Star posted is lovely. Dressy without being dressy, if that makes sense.

A white satin short-sleeved shirt with collar would look smart too and not out of place.

NoComet Mon 21-Oct-13 23:25:47

Plain black trousers (nice school trousers are fine) and a nice blouse. DD and her friend don't always sing in dresses.

At 9 DD had the same problem. If you grow out before you grow up, children's dresses don't fit or look awful and adult dresses need boobage you haven't got

It's worth looking at New look 915, River island, next, H&M and M&S if your really lucky (Their kids stuff is really nice quality, but styling is really hit and miss) for blouses and nice tops.

my 12 year olds sort of top, she hates dresses too.

possibly more what adults think of as suitable

the lace peplum tops are possibilities, especially if you can find any velvet black leggings or smart slim fit trousers.

DD1(15)'s school trousers would be perfect, but they are M&S ladies office type ones and she's 5'6"

also dresses are less flowery in winter

morethanpotatoprints Mon 21-Oct-13 23:25:22


You are spot on, its conservative and quite old fashioned at times, although she can sing a mixture of styles throughout an appearance.

I am loving the Marin Alsop reference btw. My dd has asked FC for a baton for xmas after the Proms grin Awe inspiring stuff.

BerstieSpotts Mon 21-Oct-13 23:18:40

There are some nice, not too girly jersey dresses in H&M although I'm not sure if they are too casual.

Next have a range called "Bird Song" at the moment which might be worth a look. This dress is lovely and not too girly

Plus their "star gazer" has some loose, baggy dresses which can suit a wider framed figure. They are very plain and "retro" but might be suitable.

This girl looks smart with the cardigan and skirt, although the cardi might be too hot if she performs under lights.

BerstieSpotts Mon 21-Oct-13 23:11:14

One of my friends sings a lot and although she now loves to wear dresses she quite often used to wear plain black trousers and a chinese style top or other smart blouse.

Tunic and leggings sounds good too. Try looking at styles aimed at older teens/young women for "going out" so it's a bit glitzy, but tend to come with trousers rather than skirts.

MyNameIsInigoMontoya Mon 21-Oct-13 23:05:03

How about wide-legged trousers/suit, or even full length culottes if you can find any?

Or you could try a skirt with a jacket or cropped jumper, I think sometimes skirts can work better on people who aren't very "girly" than dresses.

Or another possibility - how about a long tunic top, with some fancy leggings, if she has a sporty figure? You could get an embellished party top in nice fabric, and the leggings could be sparkly or satiny or whatever. Best thing perhaps is to just experiment a bit and see what looks good on her.

I guess part of the problem is maybe that the music is all more "old-fashioned" styles, so has a more conservative image associated with it - compared with pop for instance! And people usually go along with that, so that reinforces the expectation. But that doesn't mean it can't be changed or that she should have to follow it!

SweetSkull Mon 21-Oct-13 22:47:09

and more

SweetSkull Mon 21-Oct-13 22:45:25


SweetSkull Mon 21-Oct-13 22:43:39

have a look

Phineyj Mon 21-Oct-13 22:38:05

I think trouser suit too, and show her some videos of Marin Alsop - now there's a musician who looks splendid amd not in the least girly!

morethanpotatoprints Mon 21-Oct-13 22:33:01


Thank you, they are lovely dresses, but not for my dd grin
I know brick shit house is an awful expression and I'm certainly not saying she is fat, she is all muscle, that's the problem. Her arms and legs are quite muscular.
I am liking the idea of trouser suit thingy though.
Are those all in one suits dressy enough or a bit like beach wear.
Its a flippin night mare finding something.
Dresses were fine when they did the job and really stood out, looked lovely too. So it has to be a hell of a replacement.

morethanpotatoprints Mon 21-Oct-13 22:25:48


She sings all sorts of things from Disney to classical, folk, theatre, but not really modern things.

Yes, I do think its because of what's expected. I'm sure she wouldn't feel dressed up enough in trousers and the lyrics to the songs sometimes as well.

We normally see girls/women singing in dresses.
Why is this?

I don't think there would be an issue with it as in nobody would say anything, but for some reason there seems to be an assumption that dresses are the norm.

FloraFox Mon 21-Oct-13 22:23:42

Your DD is lucky more that you are trying to help her solve this and not just trying to force her into something uncomfortable so she can conform. My DD hates dresses but we've bought stuff from J Crew before that she's really loved. It has to be mail order but I haven't had a problem. What about something like this:

or this:

or a trouser suit if she really hates dresses.

SolidGoldBrass Mon 21-Oct-13 22:11:46

However, if the people booking her to perform insist on a dress, try to get something in a dark colour, nicely tailored rather than frilly flounces and sequins.

SolidGoldBrass Mon 21-Oct-13 22:10:37

Unless she actually has to wear a uniform for the performances, I would definitely suggest getting her some sort of smart trouser suit if that's what she would prefer.
If your budget allows for it, why not look for a local tailor/dressmaker and get something made for her?

PenguinsDontEatPancakes Mon 21-Oct-13 22:00:58

What would she like to wear? What type of performances?

kim147 Mon 21-Oct-13 21:59:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NiceTabard Mon 21-Oct-13 21:58:34

What sort of music is she singing?

It's the same issue as many of us face at work in a way isn't it! Certain expectations and to do with "femininity" rather than what's comfy!

morethanpotatoprints Mon 21-Oct-13 21:47:54

Ok, my dd is 9 and turned from a petite (ish) small/average height and build to a tall, brick shit house.

She hates wearing dresses and is a tom boy.
Wardrobe is usually jeans, leggings, sweatshirts etc.

She has the most beautiful voice and sings in lots of concerts as a soloist and because it is expected has had the most beautiful dresses even though worn reluctantly.
Now they look awful on her, poor love.
What can I dress her in/ help her choose that will be what is expected but not a bloody shiny or flowery pretty dress?

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