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How has your feminism affected those around you?

(37 Posts)
PumpkinGuts Fri 11-Oct-13 14:26:36

DH comes home shouting about sexist things he has seen in the media and gets incredibly ranty about the toys and clothes found in the "girls" section. In a way that could be to with dd too though as she is so un"girly" it's kind of a joke and we both worry about her going to school one day and coming out of her gender neutral bubble. A few friends who appeared to be closet case feminist have started brining up adverts that piss them off etc.

AnnieLobeseder Sat 12-Oct-13 22:08:27

Sadly, it mostly seems to annoy them. sad

Perhaps I'm expressing it wrong.....

whatdoesittake48 Sat 12-Oct-13 22:24:09

My daughter who is 11 knows what misogyny means and will point it out when she sees it. My son aged 14 cracks wry jokes about a "woman's place" but knows he is joking and my husband indulges my rants. I couldn't ask for more. I have taught them well!

meanwhile, my friend comes to me when she wants to know what to say to her ex-husband when she can't be sure he is being unfair. She knows i will tell her the way I see the situation which is usually that he is being a right arse and she needs to put him right with a few choice words.

Darkesteyes Sat 12-Oct-13 22:24:48

Annie in my case i think people think im a miserable cow whos slightly aggressive

But if thats what it takes Ill gladly wear those badges.

AnnieLobeseder Sat 12-Oct-13 22:36:56

Darkesteyes, yup, that's pretty much what they think of me too. I think DH has adjusted his thinking slightly, and sees the inherent sexism in things when I point it out to him. And my DDs are only 5 and 8 so I'm brainwashing teaching them feminism at every turn. My mother rolls her eyes and says things like "are you on about that bloody feminism again? Being a woman never held me back!" Um, sure, whatever. Friends on FB ignore my feminist shares and I fight with pretty much everyone on Mumsnet.

It's so hard, isn't it, when you're trying to help make the world nice for everyone except misogynistic bastards, to get constantly shot down by the very folk you're trying to help?

scoobydooagain Sat 12-Oct-13 22:37:22

My 4 yr old ds always points out if someone calls me "mrs" and corrects it to scooby!

Darkesteyes Sat 12-Oct-13 22:37:33

whatdoes smile

Darkesteyes Sat 12-Oct-13 22:45:06

YY annie My slimming group cant seem to see where im coming from and my feminist shares on fb get ignored too.

AnnieLobeseder Sat 12-Oct-13 22:49:24

I just hope it's all soaking into people's brains unconsciously.

I have a disabled friend who posts a lot of disability-related things on Facebook, including political issues, and it has really opened my eyes. I'm a lot more outspoken for disabled rights and the injustices they face under the current government. So even though I rarely "like" her posts, they are having a very definite effect on me and the way I think.

I hope the same is happening to others with my feminist posts.

BasilBabyEater Sat 12-Oct-13 23:34:32

I think it's made them stop trying to fix me up with deeply unsuitable men who read the Daily Mail for a start. hmm

Other than that, I think it's pissed them off quite a bit. grin

garlicvampire Sun 13-Oct-13 14:23:26

Me: You're a misogynist.
DB: How can you say that? I love women!
SIL: She's right, you know, DH, you are a misogynist.
Me: You love women, almost as consumables. Look at your fat-shaming!
DB: I don't shame you lardarse.
SIL: But you don't view her as 'women'.
DB: There's some truth in that.

Outcome: They're divorced and DB no longer loves me ... There's more to both stories, but there must be a reason why this exchange stuck in my memory.

Mum: If young women didn't go around dressed like that, they wouldn't get raped.
Me: You can't blame clothes for violent crimes!
Mum: Well, whose fault is it then?
DSF, 85yo: It's the rapists' fault.
Me: Thanks, DSF, of course rapes are the fault of the rapists.
Mum: I never thought of it that way ...

Outcome: She'll never be a feminist. She was an utter handmaiden to my abusive father, and there isn't time for her to alter such ingrained perceptions. But her current relationship's really good for her, and she is noticeably less sexist than before.

So - one loss, one draw. So far!!

Darkesteyes Sun 13-Oct-13 16:27:24

garlic what is her response to the fact that women in burkas get raped.

garlicvampire Sun 13-Oct-13 16:45:49

We didn't go into it that much. I've been steadily challenging her assumptions for the last ten years, I have to go easy on her wink
It's a bit galling that she got the point more quickly when Her Man put her straight, but more important that she got it!

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