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So there I was sat in a pub when a bloke walked in...

(405 Posts)
kim147 Sat 14-Sep-13 16:55:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LuckyToHaveYouAll Sat 14-Sep-13 18:56:05

Ooh, I find it hard to bite my tongue in situations like this. My inner feminist is screaming to say something but I'm afraid I'm too cowardly sad.

Skybore Sat 14-Sep-13 18:57:58

Christ, has it reached the stage where we must not tell jokes in the pub lest someone we haven't even seen and aren't aware of might take offense?
'So tempted to say something', what? "Here is a list of material that I find acceptable and amusing and is therefore OK for you to use with your mates, just in case I am somewhere in this pub within earshot and you are unaware of me"?

Spaghettio Sat 14-Sep-13 19:01:50

Or skybore - here's a list of jokes that 50% of the population may find offensive....?

It's not about them being there to hear the joke - its about thinking its funny in the first place.

SolidGoldBrass Sat 14-Sep-13 19:04:47

I agree with Skybore - this man might be a knob but he wasn't talking to you and he wasn't trying to insult or intimidate you. You were in a public place, so was he - so this isn't a matter of making an 'unfriendly' working environment for you.

Saying something to a man in this sort of situation is officious and achieves nothing good.

LRDMaguliYaPomochTebeSRaboti Sat 14-Sep-13 19:05:09

I know, sky. I find it so upsetting too.

Next they'll be saying groping women in a perfectly innocent and well-intended way is wrong. sad

Personally I think the rot set in when it became socially unacceptable to be gratuitiously racist in public, but I guess at least we should be glad sexism held out this long, eh?


NiceTabard Sat 14-Sep-13 19:13:57

I hate blonde jokes and always think why the fuck are you telling this joke with me standing here?

Most people tend to take things into account eg not tell black jokes in front of black people, not tell jewish jokes at the bus stop where all the kids from the local jewish school are waiting to get home.

Basic manners, isn't it.

SolidGoldBrass Sat 14-Sep-13 19:15:59

But this man wasn't groping anyone. He was talking to his friends. The OP doesn't say that he was shouting, or addressing his jokes to the entire pub. If people are having a conversation with each other in a public space, then it's not up to others to muscle in and demand they shut up because what they are saying is unacceptable - even if it were to be racist/homophobic/blasphemous/sexist/disablist.
You can think that people who hold and air such views are dickheads, and indeed, if you are with your own friends, you can hold a conversation amongst yourselves about what dickheads they are.

But the most reasonable response to you marching over and informing them that you dislike their viewpoint and their discussion is 'Don't listen to it, then.'

NiceTabard Sat 14-Sep-13 19:16:21

I was sitting at work the other day with a bunch of my male colleagues and they were all engaging in "banter" about "wives" and how awful they are. WTF?

Next time anyone cracks a joke about how fucking awful their wife is (ha ha ha) I am going to offer them sympathy and the number of a divorce lawyer, and do it with a straight face.

NiceTabard Sat 14-Sep-13 19:17:56

Yes that's true I suppose it's not illegal to tell eg jokes about black people or people in wheelchairs in front of those people.

I don't think it's socially acceptable to do so though, tbh.

Back2Two Sat 14-Sep-13 19:22:38

I'm more offended by the "So there I was sat in a pub" in your title (it's "sitting" not sat.

LRDMaguliYaPomochTebeSRaboti Sat 14-Sep-13 19:22:45

SGB - but equally, she didn't say anything.

She was tempted.

She's now having a bit of a rant.

I don't see the issue?

GlassHare Sat 14-Sep-13 19:23:29

Is it legal in the workplace? I did not know that. I was under the impression that employers have to protect their employees, which includes not allowing people on the premises to make sexist/ racist/ homophobic remarks. My cousin was barred from a pub for this reason.

LynetteScavo Sat 14-Sep-13 19:30:20

NiceTabard my female colleagues quite often go on about how stupid/pathetic/useless their husbands are.

LynetteScavo Sat 14-Sep-13 19:31:44

What would you have said to the joke teller, Kim? [curious]

TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking Sat 14-Sep-13 19:34:36

How ridiculous, He was telling jokes to his mates, he was not talking to you confused

What on earth would you have said to him?

Childrenofthestones Sat 14-Sep-13 19:35:51

We've had Donglegate, now we have Pubgate.

PractialJoke Sat 14-Sep-13 19:45:05

Has a joke ever been written that wouldn't offend someone somewhere? Isn't that what a joke is, something that pokes fun at something/someone?

HariboAndWine Sat 14-Sep-13 19:51:15

Why on earth you think somebody else's private conversation is any of your business is beyond me confused . A joke is just that. A joke. It is unlikely the men in question actually agreed with the content.

LRDMaguliYaPomochTebeSRaboti Sat 14-Sep-13 19:55:24

Just curious ... if everyone on this thread walked into a pub and there were three men making jokes about the fucking n*ggers, how all those wogs should get back home, how blacks are a bit like moneys innit ... would you feel uncomfortable? If you saw there was someone black listening, would you feel bad?

Because I would. I would want to show that person I didn't agree.

People make jokes that reflect who they think is an acceptable target in society.

JoTheHot Sat 14-Sep-13 19:56:47

A blonde and a MIL joke? Outrageous. Quick, call the thought police.

What would you think if a vegan rocked up to you in a pub, and told you not to eat a bacon sandwich? Some of you have no humility.

PractialJoke Sat 14-Sep-13 20:00:00

So tell us you favourite joke LRD

GlassHare Sat 14-Sep-13 20:03:48

LRD, yes, I think a lot of people would say something. In fact, I've seen quite a few situations in places in pubs where people have stepped in and said something, particularly in situations you describe where it is being said in front of a black person, a gay couple or similar.

I find it incredibly hard to believe that if people were making really racist remarks in front of a black man and his child that people wouldn't step in.

PracticalJoke, a lot of jokes are poking fun at something and could offend people, but some are just about the experiences of the joke teller poking fun at themselves, some are shaggy dog stories and some are funny because they are a bit surreal.

LRDMaguliYaPomochTebeSRaboti Sat 14-Sep-13 20:06:13

prac -

Q: How many Oxford dons does it take to change a light?

A: Change?

Yes, this is deeply offensive to intelligent people everywhere, who are not necessarily impractical.

I know.

And your point is?

glass - yes, I've also seen people step in.

Which the OP didn't.

She didn't say anything. She just felt tempted.

burberryqueen Sat 14-Sep-13 20:08:12

Q. How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. That's not funny!

(gets coat) grin

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