to be annoyed when ......

[superbagpuss]

my first time posting in this area so please be gentle

I have recently gone back to work and now work ft
I am greeting very annoyed by the following question

'who is looking after your children?'
surely no man would be asked that

also, when I say dh is a full time at home dad

'you are lucky?'
why is that lucky?

my favourite was the question
'what job did you do before you had children?'

I replied what my career now is

I also have been called a princess because dh cooks me dinner

and all of this from other women

is this normal?

[WoTmania]

Sadly this is normal and YANBU to be annoyed by it.
A man wouldn't be asked the same questions because it's a Woman's Job to Look After the Children .
I'm a SAHM my DH doesn't get told he's 'lucky' - I get told I'm lucky because he 'babysits' regularly and actually pulls his weight around the house.

[louloutheshamed]

I get this too. A male colleague with a child the same age as mine asked me if I felt bad about missing out on time with my son. I said 'why, do you?' and it was as if the question had never occurred to him....

Infuriating but sadly v common. I have only become interested in the fwr boards and started reading up on it since having ds because it has
Made me realise how much everyday sexism there is.

[Spottypurse]

My ex just said to me today"what sort of mother" was I because I'm leaving DD with my parents for the days this week as I have just started a full time job.

She's 11. And he works full time.

[sillyoldfool]

I was once asked this in an interview.
I didn't get the job, a childless woman did

[Deathwatchbeetle]

Next time someone asks who is looking after the children, slap your head and go "Oh shit"...... then run off around the corner so they think you have forgotten them. Reminds me of the comedy Green Wing where one of the secretaries was always late. She was asked about her kids, dashed down to the car park where they were patiently waiting for her!

[ParisianTrialByFire]

This one drives me up the wall! DP is bloody lucky that I do his washing, cook his dinner, generally keep the house nice and raise DS, but nobody ever mentions it. But they tell me I'm lucky if he stays at home while I go to the pub.

Grr, raging about this today anyway. Nursery staff don't understand why I put DPs phone number on the form. "But we have yours." Yes, but if you can't reach me, call him and he'll leave work. It's not bloody rocket science!

[Spaghettio]

I was widowed when my DS was 7 months old. DP was widowed when his two DS's were 5 and 3 yo.

Everyone mentions how well he did in caring for the boys and running the house while working. What a star - and how I'm sooooo lucky to have someone who is so capable.

Ummmmm.... I did it too, with a baby. Is that ever mentioned?

[Spaghettio]

Please don't think I'm looking for sympathy, btw - it was equally shit for both of us!

[Spaghettio]

Oops! Old thread - sorry!

[Numberlock]

Boils my piss - what it actually means is 'Why aren't you at home where you should be'?

[Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme]

My own actual dh thinks I'm lucky because I don't work.

Clearly all the housework, cooking, laundry, food shopping, meal cooking and childcare get done by the fairies then.

[kickassangel]

Spaghettio, not too old for you to post on.

And you are both equally courageous to cope with being widowed then managing to rebuild your lives as individuals and families. Admiration coming your way.