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If you could give ONE piece of advice to your daughter, what would it be?

(106 Posts)
kickassangel Thu 08-Aug-13 00:05:46

If for some reason (e.g. this is your dying piece of wisdom) you could say just one thing to your daughter/niece etc, what would it be?

I am torn between 'never let a man talk over/down to you, your voice is just as valid and should be heard' and 'NEVER let anyone touch you in a way you don't like, except for medical necessity. If that happens, scream like fuck then run for it for fight like a demon'.

Really can't make up my mind. The first one more likely to be used (several times a day, maybe) but the second one could be life saving.

Any other thoughts?

GetStuffezd Thu 08-Aug-13 11:00:56

Make the most of every educational opportunity that comes your way.

Go to Uni to study something that interests you (and might lead to a job ?!) See the world in your twenties and have children later. Marry (or don't marry) a good man (or woman) Always remember that you're gorgeous, and that (your Mummy loves you ! Be kind and assertive.

(sorry, was that a few more than one ? (at least five at last count ?!) - all to be juggled at the same time then grin)

AmandaPandtheTantrumofDoom Thu 08-Aug-13 11:18:48

I would say to always remember that I think you two are the most wonderful people in the world. Your friends and partners should make you feel like the best version of yourself, and if they don't, they shouldn't be your friends/partners.

If I was allowed more than one I would add to always have a back up plan. You can take the most amazing risks and leaps of faith if you have a back up plan. Most of them you won't need to call upon, but when you do, you'll be glad it is there.

UnstoppableCousCous Thu 08-Aug-13 11:23:04

Never speculate with more than 12% of your capital.

Branleuse Thu 08-Aug-13 11:25:12

Dont have kids, stick at school, and travel.

specialsubject Thu 08-Aug-13 11:26:22

peer pressure is for sheep. You are a person. Don't succumb to it.

that covers the girls at school who think it is clever to shoplift, the boyfriend who wants her to go further than she does and the society that may make her feel that she can't leave the house without makeup. Job done for life!

'respect yourself and others' is also brilliant.

ThinkAboutItTomorrow Thu 08-Aug-13 11:31:08

Treat other people as you would expect them to treat you. And have high expectations of how well you should be treated.

daytoday Thu 08-Aug-13 11:52:19

If he's not treating you right at 25 he's certainly not going to be treating you better at 35.


Don't wait to be invited - make your own life.

Scruffey Thu 08-Aug-13 12:05:16

Do not spend too much time obsessing over hair/makeup/clothes. Most women have no idea how lovely they are without all this shite. It will save time, money and sanity.

LynetteScavo Thu 08-Aug-13 12:08:51

Never be afraid to have a go. You probably can do it. And if you can't, try again.

(I hope I'm getting this through to her anyway)

NotGoodNotBad Thu 08-Aug-13 12:23:09

I'd say, Live your life to the full - you've only got one.

This may be influenced by the personality of DD1, who is both intelligent and beautiful (yeah, I know, I'm her mum!), but she does not take the initiative - something I hope she will grow out of.

curlew Thu 08-Aug-13 12:25:31

If everyone around you doesn't like him, there's probably a good reason.

meditrina Thu 08-Aug-13 12:26:21

Being persuasive is usually more important than just being right; think about the impact you have on the world and make sure it's the one you want.

And a second thought: always know why you are choosing the things you choose; even a shallow reason is OK, as long as you know what it is.

rindercella Thu 08-Aug-13 12:29:20

I would say to my daughters to make the most of their education. It will leave them well equipped for the future.

fluzle Thu 08-Aug-13 12:41:42

When my oldest daughter was born, I wrote in my journal that I hoped for her that she'd always know her own worth, that she would look for the best in every situation and be optimistic that life will be good, and that she would remember to be kind. She's only four still, but I think I'll hope for the same for her at any age.

kickassangel Thu 08-Aug-13 12:42:31

I think some of these are because of things that have happened in our lives. Like I was told so much not to make a fuss or be assertive or speak up for myself etc. so guess what? There was the boyfriend who didn't hear when I said no, the boss who blanked out anything I said in meetings etc.

It would be great if women didn't have a whole load of extra challenges to face in life, but they often do, so how do we prepare them for that?

My parents would be shocked and horrified at the idea of me lvivng alone without a man, convinced that I must be lonely and sad, struggling to cope etc. it never occurred to them that I should be financially independent.

So based on my past, I would expect dd to grow up able to voice her opinions, and take care of herself.

Sadly, I have already heard her say she'll have a husband to look after her when she's older, which is NOT a message she gets at home, but something that she has picked up elsewhere, so I want to tell her to take care of herself, not rely on a man.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Thu 08-Aug-13 15:06:54

I gave this advice to another relative the other day and I think it's pretty valuable, even if it is a quote from Aunt Eller in "Oklahoma":

"I don't say I'm no better than anybody else, but I'll be darned if I ain't just as good."

In other words, don't be an arrogant arse and remember that everyone else has feelings just like you do, but walk tall and know you are equal with anyone.

GibberTheMonkey Thu 08-Aug-13 15:10:41

Work hard and get a good education

It would help in so many way, would give confidence, opportunities, teach to think for herself, ability to support herself...

ThreeBeeOneGee Thu 08-Aug-13 15:15:50

Same as Shannaratiger, my advice for DD and all three DSs is to respect yourself and those around you.
We have a poster on the wall which shows that all of our house rules come down to respect: for yourself, for others, for the community & for the planet.

namechangeforthispost864269 Thu 08-Aug-13 15:18:46

The best piece of advice i ever got was from my mum who told me if you wait for the 'right' time to do anything you'll never do anything.
I will tell all my dc the same

worldgonecrazy Thu 08-Aug-13 15:22:31

I will tell her that she is responsible for her own financial, physical, social, spiritual and mental well-being, (until she has children). She is responsible for her own mistakes too. She should not take on responsibility for any one else's well-being, nor should she expect others to take responsibility for hers.

But her family will be there for her whilst she learns how to be responsible for herself and will help her fix any mistakes she makes.

CoolStoryBro Thu 08-Aug-13 15:29:47

Sheesh! Some of these are really negative, especially on page one!! I'd hate to think my dying words to my DD were to give her relationship advice, based purely on my own regrets. But then, she's only 10, so it's a little premature.

Mine would be be true to yourself and know that you are very loved for being exactly who you are. Although, I'd use more words and less clichés in the actual conversation.

VenusRising Thu 08-Aug-13 15:37:32

Meditate every day.
Everything will fall into place smile

grimbletart Thu 08-Aug-13 16:33:24

Remember to laugh.

OddSockMonster Thu 08-Aug-13 16:49:59

Probably the same as I tell my sons - be kind, don't hit, and no armpit-farts at the dinner table.

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