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Dispatches - women conned into sexual relationships/having children with the police

(35 Posts)
RikeBider Mon 24-Jun-13 20:44:55

Is anyone watching this? I'm finding it unbelievably shocking shock

Interesting reaction from one uncover policeman when the interviewer suggested it wasn't consensual as the women weren't able to give informed consent.

Unbelievable that these relationships lasted YEARS and has been a police tactic for the best part of 20 years.

RikeBider Tue 25-Jun-13 16:57:12

The point is Tei that these weren't just dodgy blokes who left the wife at home, pursued younger women, then lied to them about their whole identity for 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 years including fathering children before disappearing once they weren't useful anymore just because they wanted sex. These were agents of the state, using these women and children to add to their cover stories.

How would you feel if, say, your boyfriend of 2 years who has just moved in with you turned out to only be interested because the state was investigating your neighbour for fraud, and wanted to have someone in your house?

If they had pulled this level of deception to get money I think it probably wold be illegal, wouldn't it?

TeiTetua Tue 25-Jun-13 17:15:16

Oh, I agree with that concept. I would say that it's an issue that's best regarded as fraud committed by an official agency, and the victims would be entitled to sue them, though it's the kind of damage that doesn't translate well into money.

Remember also that case of the man suspected of murder, where the police tried to trap him into a confession by getting a policewoman to create a romantic interest. That stopped short of sexual contact, but on the other hand creating the personal link was deliberate on the part of the police.

OctopusPete8 Tue 25-Jun-13 17:36:47

No of course I'm not , hangs head
I agree the have been betrayed and wronged, possibly more the children who came out of these relationships ,but I think 'raped by the state' is OTT

OctopusPete8 Tue 25-Jun-13 17:37:32

They were not told to sleep with these people, they were just as free not to it was the mans personal choice.

RikeBider Tue 25-Jun-13 17:43:52

Who are you to say that the feelings of the woman involved are "hysterical" and OTT? That comes across as incredibly arrogant.

ThirdTimesABrokenFanjo Tue 25-Jun-13 19:43:02

I imagine you would feel horrifically violated which is how rape victims feel, I don't know that you can tell anyone their feelings are OTT.

Like TieTua said though not sure I would want lying to be illegal etc as where would you draw the line?

However if the police are doing it in that particular situation where they have private personal information about the women involved is it different to a therapist trying to have sex with a patient? That would lose them their job right? So why wasn't it banned by the police?

NiceTabard Tue 25-Jun-13 21:43:14

I don't see why a woman in that situation shouldn't describe how she feels in whatever terms she feels appropriate.

A man was paid by the state, and as part of her job, to engage in a relationship with her, lie to her, sleep with her, get her to trust him, get her to bear his child, then to leave her and not look back. He was paid to violate her trust, fuck her, live with her, have a baby with her, and then leave. And it wasn't just lies, it was lies that he was being paid to tell.

It is a horrendous violation. And sure some bastards lie to women to get in their pants, harder to lie in a longer term way although some men manage it. These men, however, were trained by the state to lie convincingly and were paid to do so. Paid to pretend to care about a pregnancy and child and then just walk away when they no longer served their purpose to the state.

She can say whatever she likes IMO.

NiceTabard Tue 25-Jun-13 21:46:38

And all this for some environmental activists confused

NiceTabard Tue 25-Jun-13 21:48:15

from here

"A fourth, named Anna, previously told the Guardian she felt "violated" by her sexual relationship with Kennedy, which lasted several months.

Kennedy's longest relationship was with a woman who used the pseudonym Lisa when giving evidence to the committee. She was with him for six years and said she was left questioning how many other officers were prying into her personal affairs. She said: "Who else was participating in the relationship that I believed was just me and one other person?Who else was seeing every text message that I ever sent him? Who was listening in to our most intimate phone calls? Who made the decisions about my life, where I was allowed to go, who I was allowed to see – which I thought was my free will but actually was being manipulated by this person who was being controlled by other people?""

It's just utterly grim isn't it.

ThirdTimesABrokenFanjo Tue 25-Jun-13 22:17:37

nicetabard if that were posted in relationships, he would most certainly be called an abuser.

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