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Isn't the name of Mumsnet itself sexist?

(160 Posts)
MissPeach Thu 09-May-13 16:17:29

The Mumsnet slogan is 'By parents for parents', suggesting that it is of course, for mothers and fathers. Yet the name Mumsnet would suggest otherwise. It suggests that the forum is only for women, which in turn conveys the idea that women do more parenting than men.

To be honest, it doesn't irk me that much, but it was just a thought I randomly had, and was wondering other opinions on it.

mirai Sun 26-May-13 23:51:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Childrenofthestones Sun 26-May-13 19:16:46

"How funny, a man is being asked to be treated as equal. Poor old men, they are never equal are they?! Life is so hard for the poor men. Glass ceilings at every turn. Can't fill out a form without being asked if they are married or not. Bless."

Do they teach sarcasm and belittling people you disagree with at femschool? This post is so common it could almost be cut and paste.
I we need some new script writers. :~)

WastedTomatoGuts Sat 25-May-13 22:26:26

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

OrangeFootedScrubfowl Sat 25-May-13 07:51:54

Mumsnet is an easily accessible space where women aren't forced into a box of someone else's idea of femaleness.

Although you can tell there will be women here, if you come open-minded and look, you see that Mumsnet actually allows its 'mums' to be sah mums, woh mums, dads, grandparents, those in childcare or people with nothing to do with kids at all.

The 'mums' can be representatives for expats, bakers, runners, horse owners, dieters, designer handbag obsessives, baby wearers or baby weaners.

But also the mums are welcome to show themselves as philosophers, debaters, comedians, supporters, campaigners, and THINKERS.

It's a good place. I like the name.

mirai Sat 25-May-13 02:31:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

betterthanever Tue 21-May-13 19:58:37

I am sure there will be a site called `sports fan' .... and I am sure non `sports fans' can still go on it - I happen to be a mum it is what females who have children are called, non parents and even those fathers can come on mumsnet but as with those on `sports fan' might talk about sport mumsnet may talk about being a female with a child and other things too.

Dervel Tue 21-May-13 07:21:31

I have read the preceding few pages, and I'm not dissing anyone by ignoring, I just have nothing constructive to add, and if I did I would probably make it worse, but I do have something to say on the original topic.

I do not think the name Mumsnet is sexist. I believe it represents a bias, and that in this case is a very good thing. We all posses bias, even those of us who are desperate to try to be fair and balanced in our views, as such we can take it as read that some of what we each hold to be true is wrong. This is why opposing points of view and bias being expressed in society are essential, and the perspectives that you find represented in Mumsnet have not been traditionally expressed elsewhere in the media at large.

Agree or disagree on individual issues all you wish, and even if you disagree with each and every point ever made here this place is representative of a large enough section of society to warrant its existence. If the name announces that bias, even better as it is simply being upfront and honest about where it is coming from. I wish I saw more of that in this day and age, as for example if "The Daily Mail" titled itself as "The Daily Ill-Informed Bigot" for example, I'd know what to avoid. However Mums are a group I am very interested in hearing from, as what they do is of critical import to the type of society I live in.

My only potential criticism I would have in the name, reminds me of what the Iroquis Indian delegation asked at the first continental congress: "Where are your women?". In this case where are the Dads? However a few very bitter women as an aside, the very general consensus I find in the threads I have read on here are Mums who are champing at the bit to co-operate with the Dads in the raising of their children. So if there is any sexism in the name Mumsnet it is sadly a societal reflection, and not one whose origin you will find here, and who knows if we listen to the Mums we may not find the whole solution, but I suspect we'll find part of it.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Tue 21-May-13 06:49:45

<seconds Plenty>

PlentyOfPubeGardens Mon 20-May-13 22:51:35

KaseyM I vote he goes on the a r r s e forum and explains to them how they're doing soldiering all wrong grin

Ilovemyself Mon 20-May-13 20:22:24

Ok KaseyM. I am not picking on feminists. I was asking questions and making my point felt. But of course. As I have male genetalia I must be picking on feminists according to some people.

And Yonitime. Yes I came her with reservations and not knowing if I would get help and would only be preached to. But I was wrong in the most part. In fact, this is the only place on Mumsnet where I have encountered abuse.

Let's get one thing straight here though. It is NOT my fault that women are discriminated against. Did i start it? No. And I would always stand up for ANYONE being discriminated against. It still doesn't justify the flaming on here. Obviously some of you just want to pick a fight rather than being reasonable and either discussing or pointing out why someone is wrong. To those of you, whatever. I will speak to those that are sensible enough to teach me if I need to learn something, and who can debate things. I am happy to admit when I am wrong ( like I was about Mumsnet initially) - are you!

KaseyM Mon 20-May-13 20:03:28

Oh and don't flatter yourself that people don't like you cos you're a man. Feminists like men plenty. Just not the "woe is me" kind.

KaseyM Mon 20-May-13 19:56:03

I have another dare for you. Why don't you pick a religion, find a forum frequented by its followers, join it and venture how you have nothing against religious people in general, just not the ones that "take things too far", oh and point out how having such a forum discriminates against atheists. Go on!

Ah bit too scary for you is it? Easier to pick on the feminists isn't it?

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Mon 20-May-13 19:29:39

Honestly, ilove, on any thread of the all men are crap variety, regulars on the FWR board are amongst the most vocal in saying "not all men, though that person you mentioned does sound crap." Lurk before you post and you might learn something.

YoniTime Mon 20-May-13 19:23:48

My username was originally because I viewed Mumsnet users as the self important never wrong type.
Lol this guy is so not rude to mumsnetters. He must had totally good intentions for coming here, right? I have no idea why someone would sign up and post here if they were put off by the site name, content and people's posting style?

Ilovemyself Mon 20-May-13 18:41:01

Thanks Blistory

My username was originally because I viewed Mumsnet users as the self important never wrong type. That'll teach me to read the Daily Mail lol.

Thanks for a bit more of an explanation. I understand that people are frustrated but to take it out on one person or to be downright rude to them seems wrong to me. Especially as I am a newcomer who doesn't know what it is like on this forum.

I understand the concept - a dick with a dick lol. The concept I am struggling with is those that are taking that view are going past equality and then belittling men. This is not what I understood feminism to be.

I need to think about the wording as I really don't want to annoy but yes I will start a feminism for men thread!

Have a good evening &#128516;

Blistory Mon 20-May-13 18:12:11

Hi Ilovemyself

I've got to say that your username isn't really helping matters. In fact, it's adding to the intial impression you made with me which as you already know wasn't too favourable.

What you may not be aware of is that the posters here are constantly having to explain the same thing over and over again and it's always against someone who takes the starting point of attacking feminism.

You've already had some good advice about starting your own thread if you are genuinely interested in feminism. Why don't you try that ? What is it you want to know ? Do you know for example that before you even post, feminism considers you to have a more advantageous position in life simply by virtue of being a man ? So you're posting on here as someone who inherently has a better position in life simply by having a penis. I don't resent that but in order to engage with you, I would need you to understand that concept. You don't need to agree with it but you do need to understand that's my starting point.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Mon 20-May-13 18:11:01


KaseyM Mon 20-May-13 18:02:08

If you don't want people to tell you to F off stop being so offensive. See above for all your lovely snippets generalising about feminism. Now why don't you go and read them, shake your head all hurt and ask yourself "why are they so meeeeaaaan to me? What did I do?!" Poor you.

As for whether Mumsnet being sexist, get a grip! There have been numerous men only clubs that have been closed to women and have had genuine power whilst not giving a shit that women haven't traditionally had the resources to start up their equivalent clubs. So don't start whining here until you've camped outside your local working men's club in protest.

Plus the Internet is free FFS! It barely costs anything to start up your own club and there are lots of Dads' Nets. There's even one here. So if you're bothered about the lack of a ParentsforeveryoneNet go and start one. Go on, I dare you.

grimbletart Mon 20-May-13 17:38:19

But you will never change a chauvinists view by telling him to F off.

We can never change a chauvinist's view, full stop. That's because it is based on irrationality, not logic. I've concluded that it is a massive waste of time even trying. Eventually, like the dinosaurs, they will become extinct as failure to adapt to the real world deals with them.

AMumInScotland Mon 20-May-13 17:37:59

I take it you still don't get why coming onto a Feminism thread and telling us that we ought to do things in a way that suits men better might be considered irritating?

Ilovemyself Mon 20-May-13 17:30:40

Perhaps if they explained why they were upset and tried to explain why I shouldn't feel as I do without the abuse it would be much better. But no, it was abuse from the word go.

Yes equality still has a way to go. But you will never change a chauvinists view by telling him to F off.

I give up trying to reason with those who refuse to explain their point of view and insist on being abusive. It's not just about the swearing - it's about the whole attitude of those that do not want to be inclusive or dare I say it equal like I do.

EldritchCleavage Mon 20-May-13 17:10:15

Oh look, not just a goadyfucker, but a prissy goadyfucker. Aren't we the lucky ones.

AMumInScotland Mon 20-May-13 16:58:53

People swear when they get irritated. It happens. On MN it is permitted, because we are treated as adults who are allowed to choose how to express ourselves.

Maybe you need to consider why it is that people on this thread are finding your statements irritating, rather than making this about swearing?

Ilovemyself Mon 20-May-13 16:58:34

I said I could swear the the best of you, however I choose not to as I am a little more polite than you. It's not double standards at all - have you seen me swear? No.

And yes intelligent people can choose to swear, they just chose not to!

There have been some very polite people on this part of the forum, but some are plain abusive.

If you want to swear at me as a supporter fine. But swear at someone who you are trying to win over to your point of view and you will never win.

BeCool Mon 20-May-13 16:32:18

You have said I have nothing sensible to say (because I swear) - that is RUDE!

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