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Feminism: chat

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

I am a seething ball of rage.

12 replies

kickassangel · 19/04/2013 22:09

Where I teach, whic is so left wing and politically correct and right on that it hurts, has just left me pissed off. One teacher decided today that he was going to take part in the students lunch time fun competition.

It was basketball. He is 6'2" tall, playing against 12 year olds. He did n't let me take part a few weeks back when the comp. was spelling as I would be too advantaged. And no matter how much I told him not to, he ignored me.

I run the lunch time comp. but he is my boss, I am SO wanting to work out how to negate his shitty attitude, but it is such a stupid thing I need to do it in a sneaky not making a fuss way, so that if he tries to stop me, it is HIM that looks like an arse.

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featherbag · 19/04/2013 22:18

Are you both 8?!

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Freddiemisagreatshag · 19/04/2013 22:19

And this is a feminist issue because?

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LastMangoInParis · 19/04/2013 22:24

I was also wondering how this is a feminist issue.
And also thinking that perhaps there's some harm in an adult 'competing' with children in spelling competition, but not in basketball comp - where perhaps more obviously adult is 'playing along' rather than really competing with children, and children rather than really competing.
Is your post serious or a wind up, kickass?

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kickassangel · 19/04/2013 23:05

Erm, for those who don't see why a guy ignoring the voice of a woman is not a feminist issue, why are you posting?

And how come a teacher spelling alongside children is dangerous, but a man twice their size trouncing them at basketball is perfectly ok?

Because any time a man ignores the privilege and power he has to talk over, and belittle a woman is adding to the long held belief that a man's voice counts for more than a woman's.

Because when I am doing my job, I don't expect to be ignored and shooed out of the way so that he can beat the kids at their game, just because he can.

And yes, his house team DID end up winning, and we're supposed to add that score to the house comp. and give out a prize at the end of the year.

He has stopped other staff joining in competitions that they would be good at cos it wouldn't be fair if we helped our house to win, but when it's something he's good at then he goes ahead and does it, even though he's the only adult taking part. Which is a somewhat privileged and arrogant attitude.

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kickassangel · 19/04/2013 23:08

Last mango, he wasn't playing alongside, he was playing one-on-one against twelve year olds half his size, beating them, and having his score added to the team's total.

We often join in and play with the kids, it's playing against them that I object to. Seriously, what kind of man thinks that beating kids makes him a better player?

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sashh · 20/04/2013 02:51

Put up some sort of chart with the houses, their scores and a list of staff who competed in each competition.

Make a rule that there has to be a member of staff on each house team and wither get the team to pick or use random names on lollipop sticks.

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namechangeguy · 20/04/2013 09:24

Wait until his wife takes their kids to see her parents for the week-end. Embark on a passionate week-end shagfest with him. Then, the next week when he refuses to take your calls, sneak into their home and boil his kids' pet rabbit in a big pan of water. That'll learn him.

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kickassangel · 20/04/2013 15:35

sash - there's already a list of the scores - which he runs, along with giving out the house reward at the end of the year.

There is a rule about staff joining in - which HE made. IF it's a team, everyone join in type thing, staff are encouraged to take part. If it comes down to one on one, then staff aren't.

I think it might be intimidating for some students if they took me on at spelling (although there's a UK/US bias in their favor) so I wouldn't do a public, in front of everyone contest just to prove that I'm better. But suddenly when it was his sport, the rules got ignored, I got ignored, and he's putting the score up anyway.

fwiw - he played basketball at university. There is NO member of staff or student (oldest is 14) at the school who can compete with him. We offered to have a staff competition against him anyway, but he just went right ahead and did what he wanted to.

Some of us plan to challenge him at dance dance revolution.

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Lesley1980 · 20/04/2013 17:36

Maybe he is not ignoring you because you are a woman but ignoring you because you are saying something he doesn't want to hear-coming from a man or woman. He has stopped other staff from joining taking part in the competition & frequently joins in himself so it sounds like he just wants his team to win.

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DaffodilAdams · 22/04/2013 06:42

I have a boss like this kickass. I know where you are coming from and I am very surprised by the responses here given that this is the FWR section. It certainly didn't warrant that reply from NCG which was bizarre and snide.

It is very much about a man ignoring what a woman says to suit his own needs. There is a sense of entitlement with him and also something else not very pleasant if he gets his kicks out of beating 12 yr old kids at a sport he is very good off. It is slightly bullying.

The thing is that in this type of interaction, it can be dismissed as a one off and he would have ignored anyone telling him the same thing. But if he is anything like my boss he far more often ignores women and puts them in their place than their male counterparts. Patterns emerge. And no doubt he would find it easier to ignore a woman because let's face it, gender roles that society place on us make it that way. Again it is slightly bullying.

I haven't got much advice because there is very little you can do with someone like this except challenge him, which gets tiring and exhausting. I'd make a note of it. See if there is a pattern to his behaviour and then maybe you can take it higher (sorry not much use).

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Freddiemisagreatshag · 22/04/2013 06:50

Is he the only male member of staff?

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kickassangel · 22/04/2013 20:21

daffodil - thank you, that's what I was trying to say. He is such a man's man, but so often gives lip service to equality/respect etc. It's a key ethos within our school, and I've got used to NOT having to battle it every day. However, he recently got a big promotion (over & above me, although I am more experienced, but he has been in this school longer) and I fear that this is how life is going to be until he gets a promotion that sees him leaving the school for bigger & better things. I shall do all I can to encourage him to complete his MA, and look for being principal somewhere. In the meantime, I shall complete my MA, and look for equality.

He's not the only male teacher, no, Freddie. In fact, most of the men, like him, seem to really support equality and respect in all areas of life, until sport comes into the equation then they all beat their chests and cheer the team on, completely ignoring how much they may be walking all over someone else's sensitivities.