Advanced search

Women being submissive is 'a sign of strength'

(15 Posts)
quizzywizz Sat 13-Apr-13 14:22:40

In ?My Foot is Too Big for the Glass Slipper,? she writes that ?to truly be feminine means being soft, receptive, and ? look out, here it comes ? submissive.?

?I think the idea of living with a partner is ?How can I make their life better???? Reece told Natalie Morales. ?So if I?m the woman and he?s the man, then yes, that?s the dynamic. I?m willing and I choose to serve my family and my husband because it creates a dynamic where he is then in fact acting more like a man and masculine and treating me the way I want to be treated."

CognitiveOverload Tue 16-Apr-13 20:50:44

Women are sometimes submissive to other why not to men? Being submissive sometimes is the best strategy. ...I think/hope thats what she means.

monsterchild Tue 16-Apr-13 21:07:48

I think as lifestyle for individual couples its fine, but to say you have to be stronger than any other style of relating is just crap talk. If you're married to an overbearing rank ass, being submissive is probably easier if you're going to stay.

NiceTabard Tue 16-Apr-13 21:23:16

The clue is there as soon as the word "feminine" is mentioned!

Being female and being "feminine" are not the same things by a long chalk. If you want to be "feminine" then there is a bunch of attributes attached to that which she is reflecting in what she writes (I assume - not read the link!). Of course a man can also adopt these behaviours if he wants to be "feminine" the same as women can adopt "masculine" behaviours if they wish.

For most normal people of course simply behaving as feels natural to them is the best course of action irrespective of such labels.

CognitiveOverload Tue 16-Apr-13 21:25:24

I don't agree behaving as feels natural is the best course.

NiceTabard Tue 16-Apr-13 21:25:41

I guess when you get someone female whose personality and preferred behaviours ties in closely with the stereotype of "feminine" they cannot understand why anyone would be anything else.

I have managed to behave as comes naturally to me - which is not terribly "feminine" - with no discernable negative impact on my life grin

NiceTabard Tue 16-Apr-13 21:27:12

Barring criminal or hurtful activity, why on earth not?

We are talking about "femininity" and "masculinity" here remember, please don't veer off into talking about bestiality or something.

Kiriwawa Tue 16-Apr-13 21:32:32

I find it interesting that men who are submissive don't feel the need to write books about how great it is to subjugate themselves to their female partners.

Why is that?

NiceTabard Tue 16-Apr-13 21:36:33

Also women who are dominant in relationships (not in a pervy way!). There are loads of couples where the woman is in the traditional "masculine" role and the man meeting the definition of "feminine" better and strangely no books about that either.

Bottom line is compatibility.

NiceTabard Tue 16-Apr-13 21:38:30

And I guess in most relationships both partners show a mix of behaviours which (hopefully) complement each other and don't put either of them firmly in the "masculine" or "feminine" camps.

The dearth of books in that area is again something of a puzzle.

Or maybe there are - I don't spend my time looking at relationship books (what with not being terribly "feminine" and all wink)

grimbletart Tue 16-Apr-13 22:09:03

What a twat.

YouMakeMeWannaLaLa Tue 16-Apr-13 23:56:50

Prescribing a style of behaviour, based on what works for you and what you enjoy, to an entire gender is pointless, but seems to generate media interest.

Encouraging individual self respect and confidence and then behaving however you want within that security in your relationships is better but boring.

LazarussLozenge Wed 17-Apr-13 23:09:53

I would say providing both partners have, and nurture in each other, respect and confidence (in ones self and each other) everything else is pretty much up to them.

It may seem a different lifestyle/choice to you, but it isn't wrong.

LazarussLozenge Wed 17-Apr-13 23:24:31

Oh, to add.

In the past maybe these roles were polarised, but in my case...

I get up early (she has a lie in), feed the kids, shower, wash the kids. In that time the dish washer is emptied (she/we fill it through day), dryer/line filled and washer started again.

I have her breaky ready for when she surfaces.

On the flip side, my lunch is sorted, my dinner is ready as I walk in through the door.

I do bath time and we share bed time.

It's all give and take.

EldritchCleavage Thu 18-Apr-13 11:06:42

I skimmed the link. It does rather come across as a woman mythologising her own rather mundane marriage for self-promotion and profit.

I don't know, and she doesn't explain, why being 'truly feminine' is intrinsically a good thing.

But if:*I’m saying, ‘Hey I’ll lift up my side, and I’ll do it happily,’ and also the expectation would be, or the hope would be, that he comes with the same attitude. Is it a form of service? Absolutely. But I think it’s the place I can express that part of myself and my personality* means she thinks both parties should submit to the idea that the marriage and looking after each other, reciprocity, is more important than the individual man/wife, then I have less of a problem with it.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now