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Really proud of my 17 year old daughter

(193 Posts)
NicholasTeakozy Mon 25-Mar-13 14:15:21

She posted a staus on Facebook which read:-

Seen a few status' tonight that have kind of annoyed me. I don't consider myself a feminist, but with issues like this I am. Why are women's bodies over-sexualised all the time? Why can men walk around with their tops off showing off their bodies but it isn't socially acceptable for a woman to do so? Why are women deemed "disgusting" or "sluts" if they do exactly what a man does? Why is there such a taboo on our bodies but men can prance about however the fuck they wish? Nah, fuck that. Ladies, do what you like with your body (within reason). Fuck all you patriarchal cunts.

Cue two of her male friends who argued that women who dress in skimpy clothing are more likely to be harassed and sexually assaulted hmm to which she replied it's the rapists' fault, not the women. Over the course of an hour she tore all their arguments apart and made them look stupid. She really brought a smile to my face and made me swell with pride to see such passion and anger in one so young.

spottyparrot Mon 25-Mar-13 16:27:39

I think I may have missed the point re men being able to go topless but not women. Women have extra private parts on their chests and men don't. Isn't that why it's ok for men to be topless - like in a swimming pool, men wear trunks but women wear costume/bikini so that fanjo and boobs covered? Please enlighten me!!

chocoflump Mon 25-Mar-13 16:28:04

I most certainly wouldn't be proud of my 17 year old if they used language like that.

Just saying.

Thisisaeuphemism Mon 25-Mar-13 16:29:51

Really? I would be (bloody) delighted I had raised an active, thinking challenging and bold young woman.

UptoapointLordCopper Mon 25-Mar-13 16:30:28

"Women have extra private parts on their chests". Who classified breasts as "extra private parts"? confused

Thisisaeuphemism Mon 25-Mar-13 16:31:32

'Extra private parts'? - tee hee

UptoapointLordCopper Mon 25-Mar-13 16:32:38


FredKiller Mon 25-Mar-13 16:33:15

Arf at "extra private parts".

Men have nipples too, you know. Yet it's only women's that have become overly sexualised.

EduCated Mon 25-Mar-13 16:35:45

Why are women's breasts extra private as compared to men's breasts? confused

spottyparrot Mon 25-Mar-13 16:38:45

I classified breasts as extra private parts. Mine are certainly private, aren't yours?

Men have willies and bums.
Women have fanjos, bums AND breasts. One extra, compared to men.

Yes, both sexes ave nipples, but women have whole boobs behind their nipples.

I haven't understood any explanations yet!

ChunkyPickle Mon 25-Mar-13 16:43:03

Boobs are only private by social convention - in plenty of countries the culture doesn't seem them as significantly different to mens breasts.

Men with boobs aren't made to cover up, women with small boobs aren't allowed them out - it's not the boobs that is the issue, it's whether the chest is attached to a man or a woman, hence it's sexist.

spottyparrot Mon 25-Mar-13 16:45:56

When I was a small child, I would happily parade around naked. As I grew up, I didn't want to display my breasts/bum/fanjo. That's what makes them private. Why would anyone want (for eg) to go to a swimming pool and show their boobs to everyone?

TeiTetua Mon 25-Mar-13 16:47:51

Whattya mean, women have to keep their boobs covered? Open the front page of the Sun, and there will be a pair proving you wrong.

namechangeguy Mon 25-Mar-13 16:49:38

Agreed, Tei. Women should be free to air their boobs. In the pub, on the beach, in the paper...perhaps its just a British hang-up.

NicholasTeakozy Mon 25-Mar-13 16:50:42

One of the arguments DD used was that the primary function of the female breast is not for men to ogle, they're for feeding infants.

Extra private parts? Righto. hmm grin

ChunkyPickle Mon 25-Mar-13 16:50:48

Why wouldn't they? Swimming naked is quite nice actually. I wander around the house naked, would sleep naked if I wouldn't be attacked for a feed etc. I've swum and hung around topless on beaches abroad and no-one has batted an eyelid.

Again, the only reason we cover up is that it is the only socially acceptable way to do it in this particular society.

In other societies you would have felt under no pressure at all to cover up various bits - be they bottom or top end. For instance, thong bikinis in Brazil are common place, but would make many British women feel exposed. Or as a Malay in Malaysia you would feel that your whole body and head is private and not understand why the Chinese girls are fine about wandering around in short-shorts and a vest.

spottyparrot Mon 25-Mar-13 17:16:14

I think that's what sets women's chests apart from men's - men's chests are little different from their backs. But women's are, like you pointed out, they are a whole "organ" because they feed infants and function. So they are extremely different from men's.

You might argue that the primary function of a willy is to wee. So why then, if your dd's argument for breasts being out is their functionality, can men not walk down the street with their willies out? Seeing as their primary function is to wee, not be ogled. Obviously they wouldn't actually be weeing whilst walking down the street.

Women are different from men. I am not sure why some people don't accept this. Women have babies because they have a uterus in their abdomen. Men don't. An average man is bigger and stronger than an average woman etc. that's why sports are generally divided. You don't see men v women in 100m Olympics! Plenty of other things can be equally done by men/women but that doesn't change the fact that there are significant differences.

ChunkyPickle Mon 25-Mar-13 17:24:16

Men can lactate, men can grow breasts
Some women can't lactate (and most of the time we're not lactating), and may have chests that are also very different from their backs

We're not saying that if you're lactating, or if you have breasts bigger than an A cup you should cover them, or if they're small/not lactating you can walk around bare chested we're basing it purely on your sex.

Women do have biological differences, but biological attributes do not determine what you have to cover! If that were the case then perhaps it would be sensible for women to cover their breasts, and men their penises, and the rest could hang out. After all, there's really nothing to see on a woman's frontage - to borrow a turn of phrase, a woman's front is little different from her back (hairyness aside) so what does it matter showing it?

It's worse than that of course, because apparently not only do I have to keep my breasts covered, I also have to keep them 'under control' apparently it's scandalous for a woman to not wear a bra - yet mens bits can jiggle all they like.

EduCated Mon 25-Mar-13 17:24:53

Because its social convention. And at least that ones relatively equal, it's deemed acceptable for neither men nor women to wang their genitals about.

I fail to see anything about women's boobs that makes them naturally more private, it's only the restrictions society places on them, irrespective of differences or not.

ChunkyPickle Mon 25-Mar-13 17:29:16

Some women can't lactate (and most of the time we're not lactating), and may have chests that are also very similar to their backs

MTSgroupie Mon 25-Mar-13 17:31:17

You are proud of her foul mouth fb rant? confused

EduCated Mon 25-Mar-13 17:43:41

You'd dismiss her entire sentiment on the basis of 3 words that you don't like?

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Mon 25-Mar-13 17:48:36

Good stuff NT.

HairyLittleCarrot Mon 25-Mar-13 17:55:47

the sooner people stop thinking of breasts as 'private parts' the happier I'll be. Having just stopped breastfeeding after 5 pretty much continuous years I'm fairly certain that life would have been easier without other people projecting their 'keep em private' hangups onto me.

IslaValargeone Mon 25-Mar-13 17:55:52

I don't think anyone has dismissed her entire sentiment?
It's great that she is challenging social perceptions etc etc, but the dysphemistic language detracts from the point she is making.

TeiTetua Mon 25-Mar-13 17:55:56

I wouldn't dismiss her, but being foul-mouthed certainly detracts from what she wants to say. Swearing is for when there's "actual fire or actual blood". In my humble opinion.

Then again, if the definition of "private parts" is being questioned, maybe using "cunt" is part of the statement.

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