If you want to sell to me, don't call me 'love'

[Kiriwawa]

Some bloke from e-on (the energy supplier) just rang me asking me if I would switch back to them and they were offering a really good incentive.

He started the call with 'Hey Kiri' rather than Hello Ms Wawa which irritated me to start with. And then he called me love.

Would any of you spend £1500/year with a company who called you 'love' or am I being overly cross and unreasonable?

[OKnotOK]

Maybe its an "up North" thing (which i am). But its used a lot, its generally not meant to be patronising or sexist.

I quite like it...ive been called a lot worse.

[ByTheWay1]

I wouldn't care - I would say "it is Mrs ByTheWay1 sweetheart " and laugh at him - if it is going to save me shed loads of money I'm not going to be precious about it...

[PelvicFloorClenchReminder]

I wouldn't like it either. In fact, I would hate it.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

I don't think it's terribly professional to use first names or 'love', and I would be wondering whether he'd done it because I was a woman, or because they've been told to use an informal style. Men rarely call other men 'love', IME!

That said I use 'love' a lot myself, so sometimes you can hear that it's just part of someone's habits of speech.

[MummyPigsFatTummy]

No I hate this too and had a row once with a tele-sales man who did it to me. I would go out of my way not to spend money with a company which allows its representatives to take this chummy and patronising approach.

[Kiriwawa]

Exactly mummypig - I felt patronised. I don't care if it's a Northern thing, this is a business call from someone I don't know, selling me very expensive services. Corner shop = fine. Telesales bloke selling utilities = not fine

[stealthsquiggle]

From a large company no, I wouldn't take it.

From individual tradesmen - well, I would have a choice of none if I refused to deal with people who call me "love" - apart from the younger generation who just call me by my first name.

[VerySmallSqueak]

I think it's just a regional thing - ime experience such terms are used as equally from women to men as from men to women.

It doesn't worry me at all.

[notcitrus]

If it's from the fruit stall guy who calls everyone love or mate then I'll go along with it. Someone otherwise using formal English, no.

I do wonder what signals being an old person who gets called love by women who only otherwise use it for small children.

I've worked with chaps in industries where everyone is male and 'mate', where they've realised 'love' doesn't sound right because no-one else is called that, don't feel right calling a woman 'mate', and compromise with a lot of 'you' and 'me old China'. Or just gone ahead and used love, but been otherwise respectful and treating me as an equal. Unlike certain superficially-respectful colleagues. Words can indicate attitudes and influence actions, but the actions themselves are more important, IMO.

[MummyPigsFatTummy]

It's all about context really. If you are having a friendly chat with someone in a local shop, perhaps, and he or she called you 'love', no problem. Nice and friendly even.

However, if you are speaking on the telephone to someone you have never met before and they switch from calling you by your first name without asking (my pet hate) to calling you 'love', it is completely unacceptable and unprofessional.

In my case, the caller did it in response to my rather cold response to the original call (it was after 8pm, I had just put Dd to bed and I hate evening cold calls - perhaps I am a bit unreasonable about this). He was clearly intending to sound demeaning, more or less saying 'calm down love, you're being hysterical'. (I wasn't shouting btw - just cold.)

Funny enough, I think it was E-on on that call too.

[MummyPigsFatTummy]

Maybe not E-on but definitely electricity related. Perhaps they all go to the same cold-call training school.

[MummyPigsFatTummy]

From StickEmUp's link: "Pet names have long been a good way to shut women up. You know, ?simmer down, little lady?? "

This is precisely the way it was said to me.

[ByTheWay1]

So collectively the word mate/ pal/ me old mucker conveys what exactly about men?

Sometimes it is "overthunk" (as my 12 yr old says) why does the word "love" paint a picture - when both men and women use it to men and women and children - sometimes things merely are a cultural manner of speech, and not meant as a (what exactly??) put down? term of affection?

Just because folks "darn sarth" don't talk to each other... there seems to be a lot of suspicion about people from "oop north" who do so using endearments..

[ByTheWay1]

Yep - usually with a me on the front as in "me love" or alternatively - for some reason "me duck" , was brought up surrounded by everyone using the word love all the time... I thought it was nice..

[whimsicalmess]

(waves)Northerner here too, its really not that bad IMO.

cheer up love it might never 'appen (dons hard hat)

[ByTheWay1]

hahahahaha whimsicalmess I've learned form MN that that one is wrong in sooooooooooooooo many ways

[Januarymadness]

my family and close friends csn call me love if they want. Other than that it makes me want to rip peoples heads off.

I had a female sales assistant do 9t to me the other day in a very dismissive manner. If I had the time I would have made a formal complaint. "It's only a ..... Love"

[whimsicalmess]

I have a saying in these situations WWHD, what would hyacinth do?

I don't think she'd approve

I can't actually think of a term like love, duck etc that irratates me.

[MrsMushroom]

Yanbu. When SKY customer service people say DO you mind if I call you Mushroom?

I say @Yes...it's MRS Mushroom.

And I can hear them rolling their eyes!