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So now Mumsnet deletes posts on the grounds that they're offensive to people with religious beliefs and MRA's

(189 Posts)
FastidiaBlueberry Sun 17-Feb-13 12:55:49

On the circumcision thread a post of mine was deleted and when I asked mumsnet why, this was the response:

"While it is true that posts we don't tend to delete posts on the grounds of being in poor taste because it would be really hard to draw the line; we do as in this case remove posts that, in our judgement, are simply beyond the pale.

Your post was reported to us and tbh we felt that * (an offensive acronym for MRA's) was beyond the pale tbh, especially when added to the rest of your post which was also incredibly offensive to anyone with religious beliefs."

So basically, we are not allowed to post things which offend people's religious beliefs in conjunction with offending MRA's.

Just thought I'd let you all know. I'm not even annoyed about this, after last week's targeting I think it's obvious that MN really don't want radical feminism represented here.

Tortington Sun 17-Feb-13 14:08:18

not the same thing at all

Tortington Sun 17-Feb-13 14:08:36

that was to the op

FastidiaBlueberry Sun 17-Feb-13 14:08:58

Well I agree with you Custardo.

I had no idea that it was an upsetting term for some women.

Seriously until today I hadn't clocked any argument about it.

And I won't use it if people say it's triggering.

So are Mumsnet going to come down hard on the use of Cry Rape then?

ceramicunicorn Sun 17-Feb-13 14:09:00

Surely 'stabby' is along the same lines though. That's constantly used on mn.

LoopDeLoops Sun 17-Feb-13 14:09:41

I loathe the word. It absolutely does trivialise an horrific thing, and turns it into some kind of joke, therefore making rape (or 'rapey behaviour') almost appear acceptable and funny.
Please stop using it.

Viviennemary Sun 17-Feb-13 14:09:58

I admit I am a culprit on a thread for using the term 'cry rape'. I didn't realise it was offensive. If I had I wouldn't have used it. And I don't like the word 'rapey' either. Though I don't even know what it means and haven't heard it before. It sounds horrible.

LoopDeLoops Sun 17-Feb-13 14:11:00

As in:

"That man, he looks a bit rapey, doesn't he?"
"Yeah, well creepy".

SchroSawMargeryDaw Sun 17-Feb-13 14:11:19

I don't know, I've never thought of "stabby" as relating to anything to do with actually stabbing someone, I've only heard that as a term to refer to a short or angry attitude.

However I am fine to be shown I am wrong?

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 17-Feb-13 14:12:40


No waferthinmint, that's not what I'm doing.

I'm trying to establish what language is allowed on MN and what isn't.

This is literally the first time today, that I've been told we're not allowed to use that term.

If I'd known that, I wouldn't have used it.

I actually try to follow MN guidelines when I post, believe it or not.

But I also think that if that term isn't allowed to be used, then other terms ought not to be as well.

The cry rape one being the obvious one for me. It buys into every rape myth going.

Our policy is to keep intervention to a minimum and let the conversation flow.
But when a post is reported (and we actively encourage ALL our posters to report anything they think we should look at) we take things on a case-by-case basis.

Hope this clears things up.

FastidiaBlueberry Sun 17-Feb-13 14:22:09

Well it does a bit Olivia thank you.

I'll be reporting all uses of the term Cry Rape from now on.

I think stabby is one of those things which you wouldn't use if you thought it might upset someone - if they had a friend who had been stabbed a while ago or something, no?

In general I don't think it's offensive, but of course it could become so depending on context.

Loops, it's interesting what you say about creepy - MRA's get very upset about the use of that term, because it's nebulous and a "code" which women use to warn each other about men.

I remember reading a whiney article about it but I can't remember where it is.

LRDtheFeministDragon Sun 17-Feb-13 16:04:20

I don't especially like the term 'rapey', but I don't see how it's worse than any alternative.

I am really surprised if you offended religious people because I've never once seen you say anything I'd have thought was offensive that way. confused

AbigailAdams Sun 17-Feb-13 17:26:36

I always assumed rapey meant someone whose actions, attitudes or beliefs upheld the rape culture women live in. The opposite of frivolous tbh.

<shrugs> Clearly I was wrong.

PercyClarke Sun 17-Feb-13 17:41:42

Fastidia - whiney article is here.

TeiTetua Sun 17-Feb-13 17:54:26

Note that in the circumcision thread, Zippy1111 introduced the word "whiny" himself:
Please hear me out instead of dismissing this post as a "whiny MRA post"

A fair number of us were willing to hear him out, but not to absolve him from sending a, you know, that kind of post.

nenevomito Sun 17-Feb-13 18:06:43

Its not a term I've used or heard before, but context is everything and if its deemed too offensive to be used on MN then its the first I've heard of it. Based on the posting history of the OP, I'd be astounded if it was meant to dismiss women's experiences.

Posts dismissing MRA bollocks or criticising religion are hardly new for MN and not deleted as a matter of course from what I've seen.

seeker Sun 17-Feb-13 18:11:38

Can we call them Mysogynist Rape Apologists then?

seeker Sun 17-Feb-13 18:13:04

Or even Misogynistic Rape Apologists?

SolidGoldBrass Sun 17-Feb-13 18:17:17

I don't think that article linked to is particularly whiny: I think the author makes some fair points. It's not wrong to want sex, or want a particular kind of sex, and it isn't wrong to ask for sex, just as long as you take no for an answer (and aren't asking in a situation any reasonable person would consider inappropriate, such as in the middle of a business meeting, at a funeral, or with someone you literally met three seconds ago at an ordinary (ie not sex-related) social event).

FastidiaBlueberry Sun 17-Feb-13 19:46:22

<Arf> at SGB's list of inappropriate venues for a sexual proposition.

Funeral would definitely be up there.

BubblesOfBliss Sun 17-Feb-13 19:51:49

OliviaMumsnet Why is 'rapey' beyond the pale? Weird

Since a quarter of women are raped, and only a tiny percentages of rapist men are made accountable for their raping - these men who rape with impunity do in fact go about their business as usual. They do ordinary things - like brush their teeth, go to work, post on Mumsnet, etc.

When a man expresses hostile masculinity, or an organised group of men express hostile masculinity - showing a fear of feminists and a desire to discredit us, or aggressively pushing an agenda to silence victims of rape (pushing rape myths such as false accusations in a feminist forum), or silence victims of DV or CSA (using bollocks terminology like 'parental alienation syndrome' etc) - then surely such behaviour is so conducive to maintaining a rape culture that the shorthand 'rapey' is most appropriate? I thing MNHQ the kind of posts you should really be deleting are the ones that bang on about 'false accusations' not those naming the perpetrator.

I find it very sinister indeed that the MRAs are able to manipulate MN like this

BubblesOfBliss Sun 17-Feb-13 19:59:06

So how about other extremist groups like the EDL? Would a post get deleted for naming them as the violent thugs they are. As a test here - The EDL are violent, racist thugs. Is this going to be deleted...

Or perhaps it is the changing of 'rape-culture-reinforcement-suggesting-a-vested-interest-that-looks-personal-and-a-bit-frightening' to 'rapey' that is the problem.

So perhaps if I say the EDL are 'violentish' that will be the real step too far..

I am unable to get where MNs line is here. MRAs are an extremist group FFS and their members troll around on MN all the time. Doesn't that concern HQ a bit?

BubblesOfBliss Sun 17-Feb-13 20:00:54

Oh BTW someone's post was deleted recently for using 'rape-apologist' so sorry - too far for MN I'm afraid.

catgirl1976 Sun 17-Feb-13 20:19:54

When my ex raped me, I certainly didn't report it to the police by saying "Hello. My ex got a bit rapey tonight".

I think that would have been trivialising it a little, no?

But hey, if you scored a point then, you know, knock yourself out.

Also, I don't think that because some is a "MRA" it follows that they are rapists. Or even a bit "rapey".

runningforthebusinheels Sun 17-Feb-13 20:36:25

I reported a post on a thread recently when a very obvious 'MRA type' said about women 'crying rape' - for contravening the I Believe You Campaign. They did remove the post - which I was pleased about. The term 'cry rape' is such an absolutely heinous expression to use - it does indeed buy into every rape myth going.

BubblesOfBliss Sun 17-Feb-13 20:43:40

catgirl1976 "When my ex raped me, I certainly didn't report it to the police by saying "Hello. My ex got a bit rapey tonight""

Nobody said you did.

I think that would have been trivialising it a little, no?

In that context yes

"But hey, if you scored a point then, you know, knock yourself out."

What is that supposed to mean?

"Also, I don't think that because someone is a "MRA" it follows that they are rapists."

I agree with that, but I'm sure you'll find many rapists and rape-aplogists among them, as well as perpetrators of DV and CSA, as well as your common-or-garden misogynist antifeminist troll types.

"Or even a bit "rapey"."

Here I disagree, I believe the word describes a violating male sexual entitlement that makes me shudder- frequently expressed by MRAs or should I say MREs (Men's Rights Extremists) as one of their identifiable characteristics.

However, if you find the word 'rapey' to decribe things pertaining to the attitudes and culture which normalise rape, a trivialisation of actual rape, then apologies. But I feel in no way that MREs deserve any dispassionate even-handedness since they have nailed their woman hating colours to the mast and seek to attack women, women's rights and feminism.

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