What are your views on cosmetic surgery?

[navada]

Good morning

I'm trying to be a strong minded rational woman, but I'm increasingly tempted by the idea of cosmetic surgery ( I hate my nose )
I know from a feminist point of view I should except me for who I am - but I feel the surgery would give me more ( much needed ) confidence.

Apologies - I'm sure this subject has been done to death on this board.

[KirstyoffEastenders]

I don't think a nose job is a feminist issue, at least not in the same way as a face lift or a boob job. I'd see it in the same way as getting your teeth done.

[navada]

Thank you Kirsty - that's how I see it too.

[FrauMoose]

I suppose the question is whether the nose job would actually give you significantly more confidence. Maybe it is a feminist issue in the sense that our happiness is often be more tied up than men's is - with how we believe other people perceive us? It's as if we are our bodies.

Whereas diminished confidence can be linked with so many other issues - our past and current relationships for example. So that a person who, say had been bullied and belittled as a child, might believe that a nose job would make her feel loads better. But one couldn't be sure that the surgery would actually give her everything she wanted.

[CailinDana]

Can you pinpoint the reasons why you think having a nose job would give you more confidence?

[navada]

Thank you for your replies.

Regarding confidence - well, I've always been extremely self conscious of my appearance & feel surgery would really help me. It's as simple as that.

[CailinDana]

Still, I think it's worth understanding why you think it would help you. As in, why are you self conscious? Do you feel that people take you less seriously because of the way you look? Or don't like you as person because of your looks? What do you expect to change once you have a new nose?

[navada]

CailinDana; It's difficult to understand unless you have a feature you really really don't like, & with a nose there's no disguising it is there, it's there, right in the middle of your face. I know a new nose will not make me more popular or get me a fantastic job, but it will make me happier - I just know it will.

[CailinDana]

I think my previous post came across a bit wrong - I wasn't implying that it won't help, it could well make you feel fantastic, I'm just thinking that it's worth being clear on exactly why you're doing it and what you're expecting from it before you start. From reading research on people who get addicted to plastic surgery (which I'm not at all saying will happen to you) it seems that a lot of people have surgery without looking at their expectations first. When their subconscious expectations aren't fulfilled by their first lot of surgery, they then go on to have more, believing that each new operation will give them the peace/confidence/happiness they hoped for. I think if you're totally realistic about the way in which a nose job will improve your life then great, go ahead, why not. The only reservation I would have is that you say it will "make you happier" - that's a very non-specific expectation and all I'm trying saying to think about is why you think it'll make you happier - in what way will happiness come from a new nose? I'm not saying that it won't happen, I'm just saying it's worth being clear on what you're getting yourself into.

[navada]

Thank you. & you're right, I need to think this through a bit more, after all - it's an operation & not without risk, & there's no guarantee I'll like the end result.

[SirEdmundFrillary]

I think if you don't like your nose you should be able to change it but the reasons you want to change it are more interesting and it might be better not to.

[CailinDana]

I have to admit I don't like cosmetic surgery because I think often the changes to a person's face don't quite fit and make the person look odd. Also, if a good friend or loved one changed their face I would find it quite upsetting because no matter how conventionally good looking they are their faces are very special to me and it would weird me out to have them change in such a huge way (I'm sure I'd get used to it though). IMO (and this is purely my own thing, I'm not saying you should feel this way) it's more worthwhile working on not caring how you look and being comfortable in your own skin, rather than going to huge expense and experiencing pain and risk to change yourself to suit a conventional idea of what's "beautiful." Cosmetic surgery is not done usually for the benefit of the patient, it's done for the benefit of other people if that makes sense. The way I see it (though I admit I could be wrong) you want to change your nose so other people will accept you - you are doing it so that they won't have to look at the nose you consider so unacceptable. It's worth examining why you feel the need to change such a visible part of yourself - what messages have you got from people about how you look and are those messages true? I mean when you strip it all back a nose is just a functional bone structure, it just has to work in order to be worthwhile. So what is it that is prompting you to go to such lengths to make it look a certain way?

[navada]

CD; - I just want to fit in & look like everyone else, I want ( & this may not make sense ) to look 'ordinary'.

[TheFallenNinja]

I think that if you don't like something and there is a means to change it won't undermine your beliefs.

It's your nose after all.

[CailinDana]

In what sense do you not look "ordinary" at the moment?

[HairyHandedTrucker]

I agree with kirsty but have only known men who have nose jobs, so I don't see it as an obvious feminist issue. I think you have to do what makes you feel better.

But and I hate to be a downer here, if you already feel like your life is being upset my your nose how would you feel if it went wrong, and it was then much worse?