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The post 50 Shades of Grey world ....

(57 Posts)
AnyFucker Thu 07-Feb-13 21:12:30

Valentine's day coming up.

We have tv ads for Ann Summers at 9pm.

We have LoveHoney ads pushing the "blindfold, whips and delicious pain" approach to "loving relationships"


Darkesteyes Fri 08-Feb-13 21:12:17

Pretzel there were many Black Lace books that had that theme running through them back in the 90s before they were mainstream.
But since going mainstream last year there seems to have been a complete change.

Darkesteyes Fri 08-Feb-13 21:08:58

As long as noone forces their sexuality (or lack of) onto somebody else against their will, it's all fine and dandy

It gives me hope to see that others also think like this WW. I think there is an undercurrent in society and the patriarchy that they want to control womens sexuality.
Whether that be forcing their sexuality on a woman or withdrawing sex and affection from a woman completely and expecting the woman to shut that part of herself down too. And put up and shut up. It is definately a power and control issue.

PretzelTime Fri 08-Feb-13 21:08:10

Notice how the concept of women (normal women, not male fantasy version) controlling, hitting and dominating beautiful submissive men is not being mainstreamed and normalised. Because the would be manhating, wouldn't it.

AbigailAdams Fri 08-Feb-13 20:56:03

As this is the feminist section can I just point out that most of female sexuality has been defined by the patriarchy. Much like this relationship in 50SOG. Man defines woman's sexuality (whether she likes it or not)

AnyFucker Fri 08-Feb-13 20:51:38

FWM, indeed smile

HairyHandedTrucker Fri 08-Feb-13 20:08:39

Or a salad.

frustratedworkingmum Fri 08-Feb-13 19:54:20

no its definately a word for female masturbtion - actually there are loads, "strumming" "flicking the bean" grin

frustratedworkingmum Fri 08-Feb-13 19:52:55

I think the whole "normalisation" of kinky stuff spoils it - for me, it loses its edge and naughtiness when i realise that everyone is at it!

Sex is fucking fantastic, i love it, but i don't want to be confronted with it in the supermarket (except when im up for a bit of kink and i buy an extra large corgette and a packet of condoms as a "sign" to DP that hes in for a good night).

AnyFucker Fri 08-Feb-13 19:43:03

ads for whips and sex toys during CBeebies ?

it's natural though, innit ? To "handwring" about that is denying women's sexuality.

HairyHandedTrucker Fri 08-Feb-13 19:39:56

What do you think it will be like in 50 years if everything that is considered "kinky" now then becomes "vanilla" (hate that word). Will sex become some sort of extreme sport or will people long for the days of covered ankles and long john pajamas?

Portofino Fri 08-Feb-13 19:32:10

Totally agree AF - it is normalising the kinky stuff, making women feel bad if they DON'T like it.

HairyHandedTrucker Fri 08-Feb-13 19:27:18

Thanks Pretzel, I didn't understand that.. (guess it doesn't sounds like that to me blush).

AnyFucker Fri 08-Feb-13 19:25:41

"sex is taboo" ?

Erm, no

HairyHandedTrucker Fri 08-Feb-13 19:25:19

Oh sorry, yes, you are right needles. And if they can show whips and chains at 9'clock at night it will just be one more thing the average 16 year old girl is going to be expected to have in her repertoire.

Slightly off topic, I was just thinking how happy I am that the internet only was just starting to take off when I was a teenager. Dial up pretty much killed even the most driven teenage boys attempt at porn watching. Can you imagine what it must be like for young people today who see so much porn of all kinds and can get it anywhere and on any device.

AnyFucker Fri 08-Feb-13 19:24:22

WW who are you having a conversation with ?

it ain't me, that's for sure hmm

is it someone in your head ?

PretzelTime Fri 08-Feb-13 19:21:51

It's a very specific sexual ideal the ads push too. The lingerie ads around Valentine's Day... they read to me like we should think love = straight sex =women's lingerie = nice stuff for men to look at. Women as object man as subject. That's the message of the majority of such ads.

Schlick is gross (to me) because it's an onomatopoeia like fap and it's basically immature internet lingo.

NeedlesCuties Fri 08-Feb-13 19:14:35

HairyHanded I take your point about 50SOG being aimed at a middle-aged audience. In my earlier post I meant more the prevalence for sex to = S & M, or kinkiness when shown in music vids etc that teens and young adults watch.

I think it's all part of the same disease. If you're a woman then you're a plaything, a pretty thing to be pushed around while looking 'fabulous'. I don't see any prob if 2 adults want to have sex in any way they want, it's just the idea that it's mainstream and what everyone should be at which annoys me.

MechanicalTheatre Fri 08-Feb-13 19:14:21

Widow, you're really twisting AF's words.

She said "the normalisation of sex being part of everything we do" not "the normalisation of sex". Very different things.

I don't see men being bought frilly, fluffy thongs for V day.

WidowWadman Fri 08-Feb-13 19:12:01

"Shite like 50SOG contributes to the normalisation of sex being part of everything we do"

The normalisation of sex is a bad thing to you? Cripes. Sex is an important part of human lives. Yes, there are asexual people, and that's perfectly fine, sometimes people have a stronger, sometimes a weaker libido.
As long as noone forces their sexuality (or lack of) onto somebody else against their will, it's all fine and dandy.

Normalising sex as something enjoyable, not shameful, is a positive message - because it enables people to talk about it -the good things, and the bad things. In a society where sex is taboo, it's much harder to talk about it, which can't have a good effect.

AnyFucker Fri 08-Feb-13 19:05:25

I am not "handwringing" WW. That is a dismissive thing to say.

I didn't say sex toys, lingerie and erotica are a problem. Where have I said that ? What I do find a problem is the creeping presence of it. Ann Summers ads at 9pm (yes, I know it's the "watershed" whatever the fuck that means...but I feel it should be later). Shite like 50SOG contributes to the normalisation of sex being part of everything we do. Watch Coronation Street...get confronted by ads for whips and sex toys. No thankyou.

You are not reading what I am writing, WW. Or you are adding your own spin, to paint me as "handwringing". Take your pick, readers.

HairyHandedTrucker Fri 08-Feb-13 19:05:23

Can a word for masturbation be twee? hmm

Never heard of schlicking, why is it gross?

HairyHandedTrucker Fri 08-Feb-13 19:04:32

Ann Summers is for women. Women can go in feel comfortable going in there, it's on the high street. My problem with it is that it feels very geared toward women dressing up or for hen party crap. All the good stuff is hidden at the back and in the normal shops on the high street there is really very little round the back to be of much interest. I do feel like it is really more there for men .

And I don't know any women who dress up for themselves. Dildos and the lot yes that is for her.. But dressing up is not for her.

PretzelTime Fri 08-Feb-13 19:04:01

Yes jilling off is twee. And then there is "schlicking" which is just gross.

MechanicalTheatre Fri 08-Feb-13 19:00:25

I say "jacking off" for masturbation for either sex. My friend says "jilling off" for women, but I find it a bit twee.

PretzelTime Fri 08-Feb-13 18:59:32

I thought frigging was a nicer word to say when you didn't want to use a certain swear word! MN, so educational.

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