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Chat thread - come chat, rant, or celebrate, here!

(434 Posts)
LRDtheFeministDragon Wed 23-Jan-13 22:48:17

With thanks to the lovely timetosmile - here's the new and rejuvenated Chat Thread.

Space to yak on, rant, post any of the good and bad stuff ... just basically any chat that you don't feel fits into a specific post. With a side order of reclaiming the word 'gossip'.

UptoapointLordCopper Wed 27-Mar-13 07:59:40

Daffodil - are there any anti-harassment regulations you can throw at HR? Not the boss, since he probably doesn't understand, but HR is supposed to know such things. (Hollow laughter.) Sorry I can't help. I'm only going on the work diversity and equality training thing in a few months - due to being part-time and not having a session that fits in my time! It's a bit funny. But it was never very high on my agenda, perhaps wrongly. I sometimes feel I'm quite diverse enough myself. wink

And thanks Doctrine!

EduCated - good to hear about good new relationship!

EduCated Wed 27-Mar-13 21:41:00

Thanks smile I know I'm banging on about him, but have been ill the last few days, he came over last night and I felt absolutely rubbish and what dd he do? Stroked my hair and cuddled me to sleep then fetched me a glass of water in the middle of the night cos I was really hot and couldn't sleep blush

No moaning, no trying it on, no huffing, no telling me tat it's mind over matter and that I just need to pull myself together, no sulking and demanding to know why I don't want to sleep with him. Just absolute kindness and caring.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Wed 27-Mar-13 23:48:35

Aww! smile

UptoapointLordCopper Sun 31-Mar-13 09:56:43


Saw this on a friend's fb feed: Princeton alumna warns female students to find a husband soon. I'm a bit speechless about it... It seems that having a husband is still pretty important, Princeton or not.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Mon 01-Apr-13 20:01:12

Grr, Stella article on Jennifer Garner, all fine until it started describing how her stalker had a court order to stay away from "the Afflecks" for ten years.

LRDtheFeministDragon Mon 01-Apr-13 20:06:53

upto - my god, my chin was on the floor reading that!

I love the idea that only university-educated Princetonites are 'worthy', right?

(I know that's not the point, but still!).

Actually, I know a woman who went to Harvard and still got the lecture about finding a nice husband. Depressing. sad

Trills Mon 01-Apr-13 21:01:17

Uptoapoint - your link only shows that one person thinks that having a husband is pretty important, not that having a husband is pretty important.

In fact it could be read the other way - if everyone agreed that "bagging a man" was important then she would not have felt the need to tell them to do it, and nobody would have reported on it if she had.

UptoapointLordCopper Tue 02-Apr-13 11:11:03

Trills- Perhaps you are right. On second reading it sounds a bit like she's projecting her thoughts on the questions not asked by "the girls". I wonder what her profession is... Is she supposed to be well-known?

Is the idea of "pricing yourself out of a market" uncommon? I last heard it about 5 years ago, said about a female cousin pursuing a higher degree. No one ever said anything to me when I went for a postgrad degree. But then I'm a bit scary ... smile I live in hope that this attitude is so five-years-ago so was a bit disappointed to come across this article. Also it could be that this is the attitude held by "the older generation" and "the girls" are not thinking like that any more? << Hopeful emoticon >>

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Tue 02-Apr-13 16:12:33

Just got an email entitled, "Women are still clamouring to be bankers"


TheDoctrineOfSnatch Tue 02-Apr-13 16:12:54

Just got an email entitled, "Women are still clamouring to be bankers"


UptoapointLordCopper Tue 02-Apr-13 16:55:51

These pesky women. Next thing you know they'd want some respect too.

I got John Stuart Mill's the subjection of women yesterday. May read it on holiday and lose whatever sense of humour I've ever had. I read Tami Hoeg's Still Waters recently - has anyone read that? Don't. I've forgotten how awful these Mills-and-Boons type things are. Man bully woman, but all is forgiven because they found each other oh-so-irresistible. Bleurgh.

SatsukiKusukabe Tue 02-Apr-13 21:25:27

that email! shock freshman are 18, they should already be trying to bag a man? and at 22 they are already left on the shelf?

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Tue 02-Apr-13 22:46:09

I know, great pay and perks, what's not to clamour for? apart from the undying loathing of half the country

SatsukiKusukabe Tue 02-Apr-13 22:51:52

only half

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 05-Apr-13 07:13:26

AIBU to think the phrase "and she's a mum" should be banned and work and replaced with "and he/she wants to have some family time"?

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 05-Apr-13 13:03:01


Was just on the phone to my boss. DS1 asked, "Is your boss a girl?" I said,"No, he's a boy." He then asked, "Do you have another boss who's a girl?"

This makes me happy.

TeiTetua Fri 05-Apr-13 15:50:40

That makes me think of an incident that a family friend told me, from when he was a civil servant who worked for a fairly high-up government official. His boss had young children, and one day the boss told him about an incident that happened at home. The kid asked,

"Daddy, have you got an important job?"
"Yes, I think it's an important job. Everyone says so."
"Is it the MOST important job?"
"Well, no. Mrs Thatcher has the MOST important job."
"Oh, in that case--is it the most important MAN's job?"

Laugh? Cry?

UptoapointLordCopper Mon 08-Apr-13 12:26:03


Been on holiday. smile

Read Susan Cooper's The Dark is Rising and was surprised at how unfeminist it is - heroes and great villains are male, women are either the nasty little witch or victims or unnamed even if they are supposed to be powerful.

On the other hand I also read the first chapter of The Subjection of Women. Slightly shocked at the vehemence. He talked about the raising of girls as slaves who want to please their future masters... OK so it was Victorian. But does it still apply now to any extend?

Yes, that's what I do on holiday ...

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Sat 13-Apr-13 08:23:17

Wah, I have good fuzzy memories of The Dark is Rising but it sounds like a reread would be a mistake.

UptoapointLordCopper Mon 15-Apr-13 15:29:29

The first one (under stone over sea or something like that) just had the "standard" pooh-poohing of your sister's opinions. hmm I did enjoy the story a lot though. Quite scary, I thought. (Just about my threshold of scariness. I had nightmares for months and months, if not years, after watching the sixth sense. grin)

LRDtheFeministDragon Mon 15-Apr-13 15:52:26

Oh, I love The Dark is Rising!


You are completely right. I've tried not to notice it, but ... you are right. I think I don't notice because my favourite of the series is The Dark is Rising itself, where at least the Lady plays a reasonably important role, and Hawkin balances out the other men. I don't like so much the ones with the other children.

Do you know Theresa Thomlinson's books? Now she is good for the same age range but with strong female characters.

UptoapointLordCopper Mon 15-Apr-13 15:57:59

I don't know about Theresa Thomlinson's books but will look them up next time in the library.

The thing about the Lady reminds me of the same phenomenon as having a female monarch/female prime minister (once upon a time grin) while women in general were/are not having such a good time. JS Mill mentioned it too but can't remember what he said. blush And the Lady had no name. A symbol/enbodiment rather than a person? I still enjoyed the book though...

Should stop taking these things too seriously? Maybe? Maybe not?

LRDtheFeministDragon Mon 15-Apr-13 16:04:05

Mmm, yes, that's true about female monarchs/PMs! She was Miss Greythorne IIRC (maybe I am confusing that with the MNer). And I do think names are odd in those books, with Merriman and so on. But on balance I agree.

Please don't stop taking these things too seriously! I love chatting about books and stuff like this. It's the things that float into your head, isn't it, and it is interesting. Because I think children's books are so influential, even when you don't realize at the time. Rosemary Sutcliffe and Cynthia Harnett are other authors I absolutely love, but who write male characters as heroes almost every time.

UptoapointLordCopper Mon 15-Apr-13 16:33:51

Oh yes, she was Miss Greythorne. So she does have a name. I apologise. grin

The Earthsea books - Ursula Le Guin started off as having a single male hero but towards the end it becomes more and more feminist. That is really interesting as well.

Diana Wynne Jones has mostly male main characters, but some of her female characters are very interesting, and they interact and are people. But I like her mainly because she observed and seemed to be kind and seemed to understand. Like in Howls' moving castle (which I thought was the best thing ever when I read it last year - so observant), the Pinhoe Egg, and the Dark Lord of Derkholm - just the few that struck me more than others.

UptoapointLordCopper Mon 15-Apr-13 16:34:37

My excuse of reading all these books is to find suitable reading material for DSs. They like books but are easily scared. grin

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