Let me first be clear that I have nothing but respect for both SAHM and working mums-motherhood is challenging and rewarding no matter what path you choose.
I'm sure I'm not the first one though, to be frustrated with the assumption that if a parent has to stay home, it must be the mother. I'm also sick and tired of bogus, sexist "research" that keeps claiming how children of working mums grow up to be poorly adjusted and unloved (WTF?!)
There are so many things about this debate which frustrate me! Firstly, why isn't anyone researching the impact of full time working Dads on children? Why isn't anyone wondering or alleging that working dads have poorly adjusted kids? I'm bemused at how that isn't even considered a possibility.
Secondly, there is so much hypocrisy surrounding these arguments. In favour of women staying home, they're quick to talk about how much more special the mother-child bond is. However, when it comes to custody arrangements and the debate that rages around them, they're equally quick to talk about how it's unfair that women are given custody more often and how having given birth doesn't make you a better parent. I mean, really?? Which way do you want it?
I'm sick of people shaming working mothers and I'm sick of cultural and societal expectations that assume "good mothers" must be 100% sacrificing.
I find it scary how many young women my age (I'm 24) are falling for this patriarchal nonsense. I have a colleague around my age who gave up her PHD and her career to have a baby because 1. she believed abortion was a crime and 2. that working mothers end up with inferior children. To be clear, I have nothing against those choices- whether opting not to abort or choosing to be a SAHM. I'm just saddened by the reasons behind that choice and the realisation that even today women feel like they gave to sacrifice their happiness and if they don't, they feel guilt and shame.
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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions
SAHM and working mums
4 replies
WantsToBeFree · 13/01/2013 12:43
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