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To Megan Fox and other celeb mums - night nurses are a sign of flawed motherhood

(90 Posts)
StewieGriffinsMom Thu 20-Dec-12 16:06:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SingingSands Thu 27-Dec-12 13:34:32

What a horrible, nasty piece of editorial. My skin is crawling reading that. So many horrible things in such a short piece of writing, she must be very bitter and twisted inside. And her bum crack must be chaffed to bits with her yanking up her judgey pants all the time...

When DS was 2 weeks old I had hideous mastitis and was exhausted and in pain. My lovely next door neighbour took DS and his 4 year old sister outside to play for 2 hours whilst I napped on the sofa. I am eternally grateful to her for this simple kindness. I'm sure Megan Fox is just as grateful to her nanny.

scottishmummy Thu 27-Dec-12 12:49:36

venomous article
if I'd had the money id have hired staff 24-7 damn right

Notafoodbabyanymore Thu 27-Dec-12 05:42:39

Yep, co-sleeping is the answer to every situation, every child, every mum ever. And all HCPs are crap and liars. hmm

This article is disgusting because it is both judgemental and poorly reasoned. And I don't even particularly like Megan Fox.

catwomanlikesmeatballs Thu 27-Dec-12 03:25:10

What a horrible article. I would have loved to have been able to afford a night nurse. I can't remember most of the first eight months from exhaustion due to a never sleeping for more than an hour at a time, constantly hyperactive, attention seeking baby. It didn't make me a better mother but it did make me forgetful, non thinking, aggressive, always sobbing and a little bit crazy and I doubt dd benefited from that.

How lovely for Megan to be able to enjoy her new baby from the get go. Some people get lucky with good sleepers, others are fortunate to have help, nothing wrong with that. I don't understand what the 'mummy martyrs' are trying to prove. There's nothing wonderful or admirable about not being able to function properly on a day to day basis and not being able to focus on or enjoy your baby because you're wrecked from months of not sleeping....ever...

tribpot Sun 23-Dec-12 12:44:55

10 days shock sad

So actually the article should have been about what a bloody slacker Megan Fox is compared to proper celebrity mums in the US who give birth actually on the treadmill whilst rehearsing scenes for the first day of filming the next day.

StewieGriffinsMom Sun 23-Dec-12 11:51:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tribpot Sun 23-Dec-12 11:39:24

It’s why maternity leave was invented.

Don't American women in general have about half an hour off on maternity leave, compared to our European allowance?

But other than that - good god. I am extremely glad I didn't give the Indie the page hit to read that complete load of hate-filled toss. And if Megan Fox was 'courting admiration' why would she have admitted she had employed a night nanny?

StewieGriffinsMom Sun 23-Dec-12 10:59:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HoleyGhost Sun 23-Dec-12 07:46:20

It implies that people who are not lucky are doing something wrong.

Not read the article (don't want to reward the journo by opening the link) but this is an interesting thread. I think the idea that we should subsume ourselves into our babies explains why mothers are judged so harshly. We have to cope without anyone seeing us sweat.

StewieGriffinsMom Sun 23-Dec-12 07:37:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

trixymalixy Sat 22-Dec-12 22:40:23

I co slept out of desperation, and it made things slightly more bearable but I was still desperate for an unbroken night's sleep.

GalaxyDisaStar Sat 22-Dec-12 21:51:09

Sorry to hear your DS is bad too PleaseLets. DD was up countless times the last few nights. Sleepy vibes from me to both of them!

AmberSocks Sat 22-Dec-12 21:50:01

i guess that dependshow much notice you take of what doctors say,im very wary,i tend to go with what feels natural and do my own research but i understand not everyone is like that.

I must of just been lucky with my 4?

PiccadillyCervix Sat 22-Dec-12 21:39:21

Amber cosleeping is not recommended by many doctors. That's why many parents choose not to do it. I had no intention of doing it with my kids and was very conscientious of always putting dd in her cot.

Ds would not have it and I had to keep him in bed with us which meant I got no sleep as I have sleep apnea and was scared shitless of rolling on him.

BOFingSanta Sat 22-Dec-12 19:32:39

Yes, it is exactly what I meant. It is never (or rarely) done with malice, but it can make people feel a bit crap. Generally, we all just muddle through doing our best, and we've often tried what other people are suggesting and have found that, for whatever reason, it hasn't worked for us.

GalaxyDisaStar Sat 22-Dec-12 19:10:14

Amber- With the greatest of respect, I think that's an example of what BOF was talking about. Extrapolating personal experience to the general. I didn't find it that hard in early days either, though dear god knows I do now it is still going on after 18 months (and I reckon that, with DD1 added to the mix, I've had about 9 months of a full night's sleep since early 2009, most of which I spent pregnant and so exhausted I thought I would die anyway).

But there are any number of reasons why people do. Babies that don't just go back to sleep and stay up for hours. Babies that wake every 30 minutes. Mothers who find that they just can't sync with their baby's sleep cycle and are dragged from a deep sleep every time. Mothers who have medical conditions where they need decent, deep sleep. And 'just' mothers who personally find it hard having their sleep interrupted - and for a lot of healthy youngish woman, that is probably as much as a psychological level as anything. I know I found it tougher being up with DD1, just because it was such a huge adjustment and the mental strain of this tiny being even being able to control you not resting when you are knackered is tough.

AmberSocks Sat 22-Dec-12 17:53:13

while i dont think theres anything wrong with a night nurse i dont understand why people find it so hard in the night,i co slept with all of mine and when they woke up to feed i just latched them on and then went back to sleep,did the same with a bottle later on too.

catgirl1976geesealaying Sat 22-Dec-12 16:27:44

I fantasised about a night nurse when ds was waking every two hours for a feed...

PiccadillyCervix Fri 21-Dec-12 19:32:14

I am confused as to why the Daily Mail is outsourcing its misogyny to the Independent.

It seems like a sign flawed journalism to do so. Totally unatural

PleaseLetsGoToSleep Fri 21-Dec-12 08:24:02

Yes Galaxy, my DS is a terrible sleeper too, I feel for you I really do. Which is why this article has got to me so much.
Christ if I could afford help I'd get it. I'm sure most of us would.

trixymalixy Thu 20-Dec-12 23:16:25


trixymalixy Thu 20-Dec-12 23:16:10

Vil article. I fantasised about being able to afford a night nanny when DS was born, I would quite happily have killed for a full night's sleep.

Jessepinkman Thu 20-Dec-12 23:06:25

What a crock of shit. She would not like to meet me in real life.

GalaxyDisaStar Thu 20-Dec-12 22:46:33

I think the reason I'm worked up about it is that she basically seems to be saying that every woman should totally subsume themselves, any desires of their own, because they are a mother. The clear message is that Megan Fox, by deciding to do something which presumably she feels is for her benefit more than the baby's (not to imply it harms the baby, but as in, not getting up in the night isn't a sacrifice she is making because she thinks it's better for her baby) is a shit mother.

And that message is one that comes across too often in discussions about motherhood.

LRDtheFeministDude Thu 20-Dec-12 22:37:26

I don't think we're meant to feel more for her, mintyy, but IMO it's like anything - you get women who're buying into the patriarchy who are more or less culpable, and women and men who're protesting the patriarchy or going their separate way. And you get people who are both cementing the patriarchy and benefitting from it. I have no idea who Megan Fox is, but she's obviously not doing the last one of those. She may be buying into the patriarchy, but she's also been taken down by it, I think?

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