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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

Would it be OK to have a (light hearted) thread about

146 replies

HalloweenNameChange · 30/11/2012 20:22

the embarrassing unfeminsty thoughts we sometimes catch ourselves having?

I keep scanning the covers of rubbish glossies newspapers to see if Kate Middleton is pregnant yet Blush and I will be very excited when she is.. Double Blush I know she is not a breeding horse.. I just can't help myself.

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TerrariaMum · 30/11/2012 21:15

I was wondering something along those lines. It was more about the babygro and if they have a girl, will they dress her in it?

DH says I like royalty gossip because I was born in the States. I'm afraid he's right.

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HalloweenNameChange · 30/11/2012 21:23

Yeah, I'm American too.... Blush.. That's a point about the babygro though

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scottishmummy · 30/11/2012 22:28

I read Elle,all the glam mags it's not unfeminist in least
why on earth do you consider it unfeministy
I won't be told what mags,books or newspapers I can read.or what's unfeministy

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scottishmummy · 01/12/2012 01:08

why all the Blushfaces
you read high street mags/papers...so what?
are you seeking a no,youse still sista,rest assured?

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HalloweenNameChange · 01/12/2012 03:50

NO, I don't actually read the magazines I just scan the covers in the grocery store for news about K Middleton , I am Blush about my obsession with Royal gossip. The unfeminsity bit to me is the concern with another woman getting knocked up, and that that's all I care about. Don't need reassurance just thought we could have a fun thread about rubbish stuff.

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CailinDana · 01/12/2012 07:23

When I see a man who's in a relationship out and about looking scruffy I often think "why does his partner let him go out like that"? Blush It's made all the weirder by the fact that DH looks like Scruffy McScrufferton's scruffier younger brother and I have absolutely nothing to do with it.

I am also very judgemental of mums who go back to work quickly after having a baby.

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BornInACrossFireHurricane · 01/12/2012 07:32

I am very much a feminist but have had a couple of raised eyebrows at being a SAHM to my toddler twins (from women with only one child and free childcare, I hasten to add)

It's not forever and nothing to do with DH putting his job before mine he would love to be at home. I am the one with the degree and planning on doing postgrad in next couple of years. Annoys me a little!

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TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 01/12/2012 07:38

Good idea for a thread!

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AbigailAdams · 01/12/2012 08:12

I really enjoy SCD. And love the dresses especially Natalie's dress for the Argentine Tango last week. I have absolutely zero interest in fashion (or dresses) beyond this so what possesses me I haven't a clue. And as for how many unfeministy things there are about SCD, well that would fill up an entire thread by itself.

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rosabud · 01/12/2012 08:43

I don't lke tattoos on women! It's a hangover from my upbringing in the Jurassic period when they were almost unheard of on women. In fairness, I'm not a fan on either sex, but if my sons end up with them I won't be as sad as if my daughters do - what a terrible double standard!!

Also, I do love a good Doris Day film - imagine a world where you had time to ensure your gloves matched your handbag!!

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TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 01/12/2012 08:46

I fancy bad-Spike much more than nice-Spike (Buffy).

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Yama · 01/12/2012 08:48

Rosabud - my Dad used to say 'no daughter of mine is getting a tattoo'. It made be all the more determined to get one at 18. I probably would have grown out of that phase of wanting one sans tattoo had my father not been such a dinosaur about it.

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Yama · 01/12/2012 08:49

me all the more ...

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rosabud · 01/12/2012 12:46

Yes, thanks for that top tip, will remember not to yell, "DON'T GET A TATTOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" at daughters on daily basis - how did your dad stand on matching gloves and handbags??

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PortoDude · 01/12/2012 12:51

Enrique Iglesias videos - they are usually very unfeminist indeed, but I like to have the odd lust session. Though I did have to check I wasn't old enough to be his mother.....

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summerflower · 01/12/2012 14:11

I am also very judgemental of mums who go back to work quickly after having a baby. <

That's a shame. I interviewed for a job when DD was six weeks old, and started when she was 4.5 months old, because I had been left a single parent and I had previously been on a temporary contract. Two senior female colleagues literally sat me down when I was still bleary-eyed with a newborn and up to my elbows in poo and told me to get the application in. It was the best thing I did (after having DD of course). I have always regretted being a tired, stressed out working mum when she was a baby, but no-one judges a man for working.

Sorry I know that is not light-hearted, but I don't know, life is not always ideal in what it throws at us. I've heard so many judgemental comments over the years about working with a baby, I'm sad to read them on here too.

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HalloweenNameChange · 01/12/2012 14:43

Oh Summerflower :( this is a thread for things you know you shouldn't think but pop in your head anyway. Doubt CailinDana would have tried to make you feel bad at the time with your young baby> And be honest, you must have similar judgy thoughts occasionally? We all do, we know they're not great to have. They just pop out.

Anyway I am a no to scd, but in that vein, yes to Xfactor which is a whopping pile of shit.. and very sexist but can't help myself. Was really disappointed to see Alicia Keyes on American xfactor dressed sexy and dancing though.. missed her dressed like a normal person and playin her piano.. Guess they all succumb at some point.

And yes, to old movies too..

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AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 01/12/2012 14:49

nail varnish Grin

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FromEsme · 01/12/2012 14:50

Oh God, so many double standards that I never voice out loud (except to my partner) but which pop into my head.

Inwardly eye-rolling at what women are wearing.
Having a real thing for men doing manly things and finding unmanly things unattractive.

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monsterchild · 01/12/2012 14:55

I love Jane Austin.

And I read romance novels, which are mostly crap and all about women as property, but so dang predicable and easy to read, it's nice after working in the real world.

I do read other stuff too!

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AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 01/12/2012 14:57

Having absolutely no respect for men who cry (birth a nd death aside)

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LilyVonSchtupp · 01/12/2012 15:04

@ Rosabud Doris Day made Calamity Jane and also IRL made this observation:

"when a man makes a mistake, people say 'isn't he silly?'. When a woman does the same, they say 'aren't women silly?' "

So she is forgiven in my eyes!

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AndiMac · 01/12/2012 15:07

Back in my single days, after a date with some guy, my mind would always get ahead of itself and start planning our wedding or how my first name would sound with date's last name. And I would be furious with myself, because it would do this even if I wasn't really interested in the guy. Getting married was certainly never my life-long ambition, nor did I eventually change my name, but some weird part of my brain didn't understand that.

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CailinDana · 01/12/2012 17:11

I know part of my judginess wrt women going back to work quickly comes from my mother. She went back when I was 3 months old, and in her own words "couldn't wait to get away from us" (us being me and my sister, who was 18 months at the time). She was a shit mother and her going to work and leaving us with a lovely childminder was the best thing she could have done, so the judgey thing makes no sense. It's just one of those stupid hang-ups that have little or nothing to do with the actual issue. I would never ever say to woman's face that I "don't approve" of going back to work early - it's totally my own hang up and I have no right to make anyone feel bad about their choices.

FWIW I greatly admire women who find themselves in a tough situation like yours and who get out there and deal with it. I seriously doubt my ability to ever do that.

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CailinDana · 01/12/2012 17:14

Anyfucker - I feel somewhat similar, although it's more a fear reaction than a loss of respect. I hate seeing a man cry because in my mind it means the situation is really bad, and my response is to get angry and wish he would stop. Very unfair and totally sexist. I do feel for men on that score - it must be so hard to always have to be "strong" and "together."

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