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Would it be OK to have a (light hearted) thread about

(147 Posts)
HalloweenNameChange Fri 30-Nov-12 20:22:18

the embarrassing unfeminsty thoughts we sometimes catch ourselves having?

I keep scanning the covers of rubbish glossies newspapers to see if Kate Middleton is pregnant yet blush and I will be very excited when she is.. Double blush I know she is not a breeding horse.. I just can't help myself.

LRDtheFeministDude Sat 01-Dec-12 22:25:21

I dunno. We're not born mechanics, whether we have vaginas or not. It's not shame to get the person who knows what they're doing, to do it for you. Besides which, there's a limit to how much you can do for yourself with a modern car, since the computer controls so much of it.

summerflower Sat 01-Dec-12 22:33:22

Oh hell, do we have to hand in our feminist badges if we don't do cars?? I'm done then. I own one, I drive one, I take it to the garage, the rest is up to the garage. I would phone the AA for a flat tyre. In fact, I think I may have done that.

Kim147, my inner voice probably channels certain posters at times like that, but I stick out like a sore thumb anyway, being the only person with a toddler on a commuter train, so I didn't dare give voice to anything even slightly confrontational.

LRDtheFeministDude Sat 01-Dec-12 22:38:16

Ahh, I can do a flat tyre. <smugface>

But I will admit - and I am not kidding - that I learned to do it from that pink-cover book 'How to walk in high heels'. Shameful, isn't it?

I suspect that's actually worse.

EdgarAllanPond Sat 01-Dec-12 22:44:46

EdgarAllanPond...oooh Seven Brides for Seven Brothers is GREAT!! When I was a teen I used to dream about Benjamin forgetting about Dorcas and whisking me off to the cabin in the mountains haha. Until I realised Frank was cooler. "

it is a feminist guilty pleasure.
based on The Rape of The Sabine Women!

sudaname Sat 01-Dec-12 22:47:37

I sometimes find myself having negative judgemental thoughts towards mums of toddlers having meltdowns in supermarkets. Its possibly to do with the fact l have a condition that means very high pitched or very loud noise actually hurt my ears. My logical compassionate inner voices will keep saying to me that it cant always be helped and can happen to even the best of parents, but the other voices (the ones related to the pain in my ears no doubt) make me feel like shouting FGS do something or take them outside and stop inflicting on the rest of us pleeeeease.

Valpollicella Sat 01-Dec-12 22:48:48

I channelled my inner feminist whilst speaking to my (kinda) stapfather this evening.

I asked him if he would be able to the me to the dump tomorrow (I don't drive). Whilst telling him I would be ready at probably 1030 instead of 10am as I have to saw the table in half, he instantly said... 'Well that's DP's work. You can't do that'

I instantly went hmm x 1,000,000

FFS. I can saw a table in half. Fucking hell, it will be pleasurable!

<gimme tools>

BOFingSanta Sat 01-Dec-12 22:49:01

I can say here that I can change the bulbs on DP's car before he can, because my hands are smaller. But I can still change a tyre.

My guilty admission is that I too revel in old movies despite the dubious messages. I love that Julie Andrews fashions clothes out of curtains in The Sound Of Music, and that Donna Reid would have been an old spinster librarian without Jimmy Stewart in It's A Wonderful Life, and that Doris Day succumbs to Cary Grant in That Touch Of Mink. I totally love all of it.

PretzelTime Sat 01-Dec-12 23:12:06

Sometimes I look at other women - that includes me - and think they're ugly because they look like real women and not unreal photoshopped models.

It's a bit odd often when I see a lady without make-up it's like "wow a natural lady how weird she looks! Do we women actually look like that?" Sad isn't it.

FairPhyllis Sat 01-Dec-12 23:38:58

I'm afraid I'm a bit obsessed with interested in the Duchess of Cambridge's clothes and shoes. I sometimes think it would be rather nice to have a rich husband like she does - then I could sit around reading novels and eating chocolate cake and buying shoes online all day. But to be fair winning the lottery would work fine for that too.

I love many unfeminist TV shows and films.

I am secretly judgy when women drink beer or lager. I also judge when women look a mess at things like weddings or big events.

And my dad does my car maintenance for me - despite the fact he, er, lives in another country blush.

AndiMac Sun 02-Dec-12 00:03:04

What's the judge point for a woman drinking beer? Really don't know (not from around here).

R2PeePoo Sun 02-Dec-12 00:15:22

I say 'I can't do that without asking my husband first" when dealing with pushy salesmen/chuggers. Its the quickest way of getting rid of them without arguments and wasting my time but I do die a tiny bit inside everytime I do it.

I'm quite happy to sit on the sofa with MIL when FIL and DH are doing DIY on the house.

I have never been in our loft or put anything up there. Dh could have dead bodies up there or anything and I would never know.

rosabud Sun 02-Dec-12 00:19:33

What's wrong with Jane Austen?? Only one of the greatest novelists in the literary canon who managed to write secrtely in a corner of the family living room! One of the first novelists to expose the unfairness and hypocrisy attached to the cattle market of marriage which was the lot of the average nineteenth century woman!

While we are doing old movies - can we give a nod to the moment in The Vikings when Tony Curtis literally rips Janet Leigh's bodice off so she can row the boat?

And the other interesting thing about this thread - isn't it funny how it hasn't been invaded by any "but you are all miserable harridans and men suffer from domestic violence too, you know" type posters? Just us chatting, it's nice.

Meringue33 Sun 02-Dec-12 00:19:58

Planning to teach LO to ice skate if it's a girl, but not if it's a boy

LRDtheFeministDude Sun 02-Dec-12 00:20:21

andi - me either, I don't get it. I was on holiday and the bartender kept making comments on me drinking a pint and DH not. But then I went along with it and smiled because he didn't mean it nastily. Which I do see is not feministy, obviously, but I don't take issue with everything.

LRDtheFeministDude Sun 02-Dec-12 00:21:39

rosa - it is nice, isn't it?

I don't much go for Jane Austen. blush I mean she's ok, but I don't re-read her stuff the way I do some others, I've got to admit. I do see she did amazing work though.

FairPhyllis Sun 02-Dec-12 00:33:16

AndiMac I suppose it's that beer and lager are very gendered for me. I think it's very unfeminine to drink beer or lager - that only men should drink them. I have struggled a bit with this since moving to the US because nobody offers you anything else to drink!

It's definitely something I have absorbed from my family - no woman in my family drinks anything other than wine or cocktails. My great granny (and possibly my granny's generation too) definitely thought that no respectable lady ever went into a public house. She lived in the same village for about 90 years and never once went into the pub there.

greenhill Sun 02-Dec-12 00:50:59

I like a pint (or two) of real ale and I am a size six, I will happily pay for and order drinks too.

My embarrassing unfeministy thing though is that when DD was a few days old, I wore high heels, sheer tights, a non maternity skirt and full face make up to go to the supermarket, as I did not want anyone to think I was "letting myself go". blush

Thankfully I got over myself and am happy to leave the house with unbrushed hair pulled back in a ponytail when late for the school run. I don't wear makeup or hurt my feet in heels anymore.

rosabud Sun 02-Dec-12 00:59:27

Oh I love the "women don't drink pints" one - that's as bad as my "women don't have tattoos one!!" I do like a nice pint of Guiness, especially if I manage to get the pub after work on a Friday (not vey often now!) When I was young - so long ago that my clothers were all balck and white - it was much commented on, but I'm pleased to say it doesn't garner much comment these days - except for if my vicar happens to be in the pub. too on a Friday night, he thinks it's quite comical - but he does seem to be one of the few people in the village even older than me!

FairPhyllis Sun 02-Dec-12 01:25:24

Now a woman with a tattoo, in a pub, drinking a pint - well I'm afraid my embarrassingly unfeminist judgy pants would start interfering with commercial aircraft, they would be hoiked up so far ...

HalloweenNameChange Sun 02-Dec-12 01:40:26

I only judge women for drinking shite beer in pubs wink. They are letting the side down.

HalloweenNameChange Sun 02-Dec-12 01:43:26

Oh I have one I am genuinely embarrassed about and regretted it as soon as I said it. The internet guy was around and was asking me some details regarding the internet and I didn't know the answer, i said "sorry I am such a "girl" about these things" rather than just say I know fuck all about it and that's because I can't be arsed not because I am a female. Extra unfeminsty actually as the only reason I don't know anything about it as I let dh set it all up, I am sure I could do it just fine..but he likes doing it ..

HalloweenNameChange Sun 02-Dec-12 01:53:18

feeling much better seeing none of us are perfect too fromEsme. Sometimes you just want to be and not argue.. but then I feel like I am letting myself down and dd.

Greythorne Sun 02-Dec-12 02:12:43

I 'let' DH do all the driving when we are in the car together even though I don't mind driving and drive loads. No idea why.

I do all the present shopping and wrapping for both DHs family and mine at Xmas because I love Xmas and love wrapping and love online shopping choosing appropriate gifts. But DH is actually a thoughtful present-buyer and I just take over. I could see how terribly sexist the Asda Xmas ad was, but actually identified with a lot of it!

One of my worst traits is to get all handmaideny with regards to feeding men. Last summer, a girlfriend and her kids who have moved a long way away came to visit. It was a hot day, so I thought 'ok, cheese sandwiches, crisps and squash in the garden, followed by ice pops all round'

But when they arrived, her DH was with them and utterly bizarrely, I thought I can't expect a man to eat children's food! And before I knew it, I had opened a bottle of cava and was laying out olives and cold meats and crudités and doing a sophisticated salad with walnuts and blue cheese because.....he's a man. Why?

SomersetONeil Sun 02-Dec-12 03:36:27

This thread is lovely - reassuring to know that others have contraband thoughts as well. grin

Mine is similar to Pretzel's - seeing women who don't wear make-up and exhume their faces of hair - and doing an internal double-take, raised eyebrow. They are so unusual. I recognise myself doing it and 'know better' than to do it, but still do.

I also do inward cringes at some women's outfits. Honestly, it just goes to show how much women are judged on appearance when even self-identified feminists judge...

I'm another Jane Austen defender - I think Elizabeth Bennett is one of the most admirable heroines in literature. She rejects Mr Darcy in the most spectacularly satisfying way ever, makes him endeavour to deserve her, he fundamentally improves himself as a person in an attempt to do so, and then - and only then - does she accept him. As a product of their time, both Lizzie and Jane are brilliant. I will absolutely encourage my DD to read P&P.

kickassangel Sun 02-Dec-12 04:04:36

Being horribly embarrassed about my dad drinking half a pint of lager and lime. Honestly , why should he drink a pint if he only wanted half?

Mind you, he shouted across the pub to my mum, 'What about you dear' in his public boys' school accent, ordered so loudly that the entire bar could hear, and we were in Yorkshire where men are men and drink by the pint.

I was only 18 and I nearly died of embarrassment.

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