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Why am I struggling to cut dd's hair short?

(144 Posts)
BlameItOnTheBogey Fri 23-Nov-12 14:21:04

DD is 2 (nearly 3). She is rough and tumble and gives her older brother a run for his money in any physical activity. She's not at all interested in dresses/ skirts and wants to be in jeans and trainers all the time. All good.

But she HATES having her chin length hair brushed. It's semi curly and knots a lot. It hurts when I brush it for her and makes her cry. She has repeatedly asked me to cut it short like her older brothers (cropped very short). I have no idea why I am reluctant to do this; I don't want to hurt her. I guess I have never seen a two year old girl with cropped hair and I worry about what people will think. I know this is ridiculous and that I my refusal to do so is down to gender stereotyping.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Would you consider cutting your young dd's hair very short?

AbigailAdams Fri 23-Nov-12 14:30:42

Yes I would. In the main my hair was always very short when I was younger (mind you this was the 70s) and it was much easier to manage, quicker to wash and dry. I much much preferred it. However, I can understand your reluctance as I can't actually remember seeing a girl with hair shorter than shoulder length for a while <cue loads of people coming on and telling me about their DD/nieces/friends DD etc etc smile >

However at 3 she probably won't notice her peers have longer hair and is probably just wanting to be like her brothers. I'd let her. It isn't as if it won't grow again smile

I can understand your relucance, DS1 had the most beautiful curl long hair and didn't want to cut his (I didn't until he was 4.6 and insisted sad ).
Short hair looks lovely on either sex - at a festival recently I saw a 5 yo girl with a pixie-ish cut. the fringe had been kept longer, thinned at the tips, and she had lovely wispy 'sideburns' and the back was a bit longer and very wipsy too. It was really striking.

BlameItOnTheBogey Fri 23-Nov-12 14:54:50

Thanks for the replies both and for not saying I am being ridiculous! I agree she just wants to be like her brother and she won't care what others think. I just an't understand why I care so much. In other areas I am happy to buck the gender stereotype (e.g. DS' favorite colour is pink and I am happy to send him in to school in all pink...)

RiaOverTheRainbow Fri 23-Nov-12 17:37:09

Would a bob or something short yet 'feminine' work?

SneakyBiscuitEater Fri 23-Nov-12 17:44:04

You need to be prepared for people to assume she's a boy. I have 3 dcs all of whom have long hair, 2 girls and a boy. Most people assume I have 3 girls. It does not bother my DS at all to have long hair and it is his choice so we go with it.

I'm sure your DD will look beautiful in an elfin way. Go for it.

maybenow Fri 23-Nov-12 17:47:14

i'd be reluctant to crop any small child's hair actually, but i think you should go for a shorter cut for her, she wants it and it'll make your lives easier. I wouldn't crop to begin with - just go for 'short' sort of ear-length and take it from there.

when i was her age i had a fuzz of curls but no real length to it till i was much older 5 or 6 ish i think.

maybenow Fri 23-Nov-12 17:49:36

this sort of thing is nice:

LadyMargolotta Fri 23-Nov-12 17:52:39

I kept my girls' hair very short when they were smaller. One had a very short pixie crop, the other a short bob. It was great. There is nothing worse then a crying child while you try and brush their long hair, especially when they have nits.

Short hair is so much easier - they can go swimming and it's dry quickly; easy to wash/brush; and can still look very pretty.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 23-Nov-12 18:20:36

I can empathise with why you are struggling but think you should let her have it cut, it's more practical for both of you!Maybe gradually, if that would help.

AmberLeaf Fri 23-Nov-12 18:33:19

I think I'd learn to manage her hair better before I cut it off on that basis.

People will think she is a boy, are you ok with that? more importantly how will she feel about that?

She may well be a very rough and tumble and anti dress girl, but that is very different from being a little girl that people think is a boy.

Don't underestimate how that may make her feel.

I say all of this as a former rough and tumble anti dress little girl, whos Mum had all her hair cut off aged five. I hated it when people thought I was a boy.

I don't know why I couldn't be a rough and tumble girl with long hair TBH!

StewieGriffinsMom Fri 23-Nov-12 18:41:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RiaOverTheRainbow Fri 23-Nov-12 18:50:57

As an aside, if you decide to keep her hair long for now I can't recommend the Tangle Teezer enough.

chipmonkey Fri 23-Nov-12 18:59:23

SIL keeps her dd's hair in a short bob, it's still not a "boy" cut but very easy to keep.
I struggled to cut ds4's lovely hair especially as he only wanted it cut as a brat boy in his class told him he had "girls hair". But as it was his hair and what he wanted I went with it. He still looks cute but I so miss the curls.

VolumeOfACone Fri 23-Nov-12 19:03:40

DD wants short hair and I really can't bring myself to do it. She has a chin length bob. I am worried she might get picked on if it goes any shorter. She wants a pixie crop. That's probably silly of me, but you just NEVER see girls with short hair now. I fear her regretting it straight away too. She is five.

AmberLeaf Fri 23-Nov-12 19:11:49


Are the bristles on a tangle teaser rubbery?

RiaOverTheRainbow Fri 23-Nov-12 19:15:09

Amber No, hard plastic, but still fairly flexible.

AmberLeaf Fri 23-Nov-12 19:16:40

Thanks smile

maybenow Fri 23-Nov-12 21:20:38

I had short hair for a while around age 10 and then again at 16. I think girls should be 'allowed' to cut their hair short if they want to. So what if they regret it? It'll grow in a few months, no time at all, better to try it now at 2yrs and see how she likes it than at say 5 or 6.

I also think that girls who want theirs long should be allowed to - with rules like plaits for school if it's very long.

HipHopOpotomus Fri 23-Nov-12 21:58:36

My friend cuts her dds hair in a pixie cut for all the reasons you mention OP. it looks fantastic.

BlameItOnTheBogey Sat 24-Nov-12 01:53:53

Thanks everyone for taking time to reply; have been out all day so only coming back to this now. Mixed views here but it's reassuring to hear that I am not the only one who struggles a bit with this. It's not like her hair is long at the moment (it's just above the chin) but long enough to get very knotty. I guess whoever it was who said up thread that I should learn to manage her hair is right. I have straight boring hair but she has inherited DH's curl. I will look into the tangle teaser - that might solve the problem.

The poster who said that I should consider how she might feel if people thought she was a boy has really cut the the heart of my concern. I don't care what she looks like so long as she is happy. But if cutting her hair relieves the crying because it hurts when I brush it but creates tears because people thing she is a boy then I haven't really solved anything...

But thanks for some thought provoking responses.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Sat 24-Nov-12 07:47:32

It may happen that she is mistaken for a boy, it may not.
If it does happen, it may upset her, it may not.
But the status quo is definitely upsetting her.

Could you put hair grips/hair bands in if it does happen and it does end up upsetting her?

JuliaFlyte Sat 24-Nov-12 07:57:37

A tangle teaser will sort you out, they are really fantastic. They are more expensive than regular brushes, but well worth it. Also buy a bottle of spray on leave-in conditioner to spray on her hair before you brush. Dd is growing her hair down to her waist, so I know all about hair brushing difficulties grin

bigbadbarry Sat 24-Nov-12 08:08:23

DD1 cut off DD2's hair when she was about 18 months. Once the hairdresser had tidied it up a bit and the actual bald bits had grown back in she looked amazing and nobody would have mistaken her for a boy, if they had I think she'd have corrected them quite firmly. I wish she'd let me do it again (she's 6 now) to save all the mucking about with bobbles and clips.

BloooCowWonders Sat 24-Nov-12 08:08:24

Dd hates the tangle teaser. Me too as its useless on her- I find it only works on straight hair.

She has very curly hair and it got really matted. She took the matter into her own hands with my dressmaking scissors...

I straighten up the edges and her hair doesn't reach her collar. She brushes it herself with a normal hair brush.

And she's never once been mistaken for a boy.

Much more interesting from my point if views is that people notice dd as a whole, she's not a cloud of blond hair.

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