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Where do women actually HAVE equality?

(23 Posts)
kim147 Sun 25-Nov-12 19:18:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mcmooncup Sun 25-Nov-12 19:09:42

I meant that the DH is worth more economically because hasn't taken time off his career and therefore more likely to earn more. Gives an advantage. And that's before you counter in the fact that men get paid more for the same jobs.

HalloweenNameChange Sun 25-Nov-12 17:13:33

Someone making more money in a relationship means it isn't equal? No way.
I am a sahm, dh works, we have a tiny savings.. but it's both of ours. I have equal access to it as he is. All major purchases are discussed by both of us... the fact that he gets a pay slip doesn't matter even slightly. BY not working I provide more financially than if we were to both work-it would cost more in child care than I could make. If we were to split, he would need to provide child care for his time during the week. I would go back to work and also need to get child care.. we would both be equally as bad off each other. MOney is only relevant if it isn't being divided equally.

True <inclines head to acknowledge point> I chose to be a SAHM, and DH is the ambitious one out of the two of us. I do a bit of freelance stuff from time to time, but financially DH is the big gun. I suppose I still feel like it's an equal relationship because I know he respects me and what I do, he doesn't take it for granted that his children will automatically be looked after if he wants to go out, for instance. He'd always run it by me, check I didn't already have plans etc. My mother was/is a bit of a doormat, so these basic considerations mean a huge amount to me. But, yes, from a critical perspective we are not financially equal in terms of earning power. I could never earn what DH earns, mainly because I don't have the ambition or drive that he has and so wouldn't make the sacrifices he has in order to earn it. Brutally honest, but true in my case.

mcmooncup Sun 25-Nov-12 12:56:13

I guess the fact you feel equal is the most salient point.

However, as you say, the actual set up with your DH having economic advantages means it isn't equal.

mcmooncup Sun 25-Nov-12 12:49:11

I do have my own business and run it very much with equality rushing through it's veins. We have no cock waving meetings, share control, listen, just generally be the opposite of many 'corporate ideals'

The company is quite new but relatively successful. For now. And actually I think many of the corporates we deal with who have macho 'grow grow grow screw you' cultures find us refreshing to deal with and guards come down.

I don't think I have true equality there still though......<hard to please emoticon>

OneHandFlapping Sun 25-Nov-12 12:43:04

The only place I have true equality is on the Tube, where it's every man and woman for him/herself.

I thought I had equality in a lot of other areas until I had children, when it became apparent that they were entirely my repsonsibility. And while I was at home looking after them, I could do the hoovering etc as well.

Yes, I think so mcmooncup. I am a SAHM, and DH works full time, so on the surface we have a very traditional set up. However, DH can and does manage to do any and all shit work should it need doing, and there is no sense of something being 'my' job or 'his'. We both contribute, we both do our share of loo scrubbing, and perhaps most importantly for me, I feel that I have an equal voice in our marriage. He isn't a 'blokey' kind of man, so I don't have any macho bullshit pulled on me. My opinion is as valid as his, and he doesn't pull any power plays on me. He's bloody lovely, actually.

Agree that in wider areas it's hard to have equality.

But in personal relationships I have equality. And also at work. I think if you work for yourself/have your own business it's possible to have equality.

mcmooncup Sun 25-Nov-12 12:28:29

Hardwood doesn't have a joke function.

I'm really interested in what you mean chickens when you say you have equality in your personal it an equal relationship you have achieved with no 'wimmin must do the crap' rubbish?

TheOriginalLadyFT Sun 25-Nov-12 11:16:19

Hardwood - you're joking, right?

Sport-wise, there are some sports where gender is irrelevant. Equestrian sports for example - generally speaking, there's no advantage or bias towards men; there are a few horses deemed too big/strong for a light lady rider to cope with but, as demonstrated at the London Olympics, women compete on level terms with men and are well represented at every level

I think I'm with maybenow. In my own personal life, I have equality, but on a wider scale...No, I can't think of many eamples of true equality at all. There are so many subtle and not-so-subtle influences which make equality quite hard to achieve <watches yet another advert which implies women should love scrubbing bogs, eats a cake out of sheer 'meh'ness>

StewieGriffinsMom Sun 25-Nov-12 10:56:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hardwood Sat 24-Nov-12 22:48:14

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

GetAllTheThings Fri 23-Nov-12 14:14:08

I think life expectancy is down to men taking more risks and doing riskier jobs not biology.

TheDarkestNight Fri 23-Nov-12 14:08:01

Call me a biological determinist, but I reckon there's not much we can do about life expectancy, other than offer the same medical treatment to everyone! Retirement age and insurance are inequalities, and are changing.

Women excel in some areas of academia, but are horribly lacking in science, possibly because of this sort of thing...

The de jure equality is good, but it's only a starting point. The provisions made in law to address inequality are so basic that they are hardly relevant. I suppose we women should be content with equal access to education, right? Let's have a party!

And of course, most of the things you mentioned aren't global by any means. OP, I think you're right. I can think of specific instances where there's equality, but no broad area of life is equal for every woman. Yet, anyway!

mcmooncup Fri 23-Nov-12 14:05:18

Hmmmm right to vote though.......that does appear equal.

The inequality kicks in when you look at what there is to vote for.

mcmooncup Fri 23-Nov-12 14:00:54

Women do have a longer life expectancy but that doesn't tell the whole picture because they are also more likely to spend more years in poor health or with a disability.

And only 43% of women received a state pension based on their own National Insurance contributions (compared with almost all men) because their National Insurance contribution records were insufficient due to family/childcare interruptions and their low pay so more women spend their old age in poverty.

namechangeguy Fri 23-Nov-12 13:56:24

How would we class stuff like having a longer life expectancy, or retiring earlier, or having cheaper insurance, or academic achievement at school and university? Plus, what about the right to vote, and have access to free healthcare and education? What about stuff on the statute book that says it is illegal to discriminate on grounds of sex? Just stuff off the top of my head, so it's for discussion rather than a bun fight. Also, most of my experience with the above is limited to the UK.

mcmooncup Fri 23-Nov-12 13:54:46

I mean as a group yes.

But even on an individual level, there are only very small areas of an individuals life which is unaffected by inequality.

maybenow Fri 23-Nov-12 13:47:50

Stastically? as a whole population? Nowhere.

As individuals? Yes, often. Many workplaces, some professions, many relationships and households are equal.

I think people often confuse the individual situation with the whole population.

MrsMangoBiscuit Fri 23-Nov-12 13:45:32

On world of warcraft they are, but that's only because no one knows your gender. Other than that, sorry, I'm stumped.

mcmooncup Fri 23-Nov-12 13:44:08

I keep reading / hearing that women are equal, but I struggle to find any area of life where women are equal.

At work?
Violence against?
Housework/menial tasks?
Pension rates?
Representation in the judicial system?

There seem to be stats that show all these areas do not have equality. So what do these people mean? Where is this equality that they talk of?

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