We've had moments of obvious sexism, how about the reactions when you dare point it out?

(43 Posts)
MurderOfGoths Tue 20-Nov-12 23:11:08

Aside from some of the frankly terrifying responses on MN, I once had to go to one of my line managers to ask why I was getting paid less than a male member of staff. The response? That I was being "deliberately antagonistic" and that I'd lose my job if I didn't drop it. angry

MurderOfGoths Thu 22-Nov-12 15:49:27

Oh god, I saw your thread, and was actually lost for words!

I see things like that and thank my lucky stars that I don't know anyone like that

slug Thu 22-Nov-12 16:14:25

I tend to get all analytical when I get the "worry about something important" comment

e.g. With respect to "Smash the wench" Just what does this phrase imply? Wench implies a wanton woman. What exactly is a 'wanton' woman? A woman who expresses her sexuality freely? Why then, is it such a pejorative term? What do men mean when they want to smash (a very violent term) a sexually free woman? Are they afraid of women who can pick and choose the men they sleep with? Are they afraid a woman like that wouldn't sleep with them so feel the need to imagine doing violence to them? What does this say about men who use this term? etc

Basically, you bring it all back to their fear of women then raise an eyebrow and wander off.

FastidiaBlueberry Thu 22-Nov-12 17:21:13

I like the sound of that...

babylann Thu 22-Nov-12 18:48:24

Yesterday my mum said, "women like you ruin things for women like me who want to stay home with the children instead of working, or like to have men hold doors open for us."

EduCated Thu 22-Nov-12 22:45:03

Just to add a positive one - I recently complained to Wagamama about staff handing to card machine to my DP instead of me when it was my card with sodding Miss EduCated on it and they wrote to me to thank me for letting them know and that they would remind all staff not to make assumptions around the bill smile

Sunnywithachanceofshowers Fri 23-Nov-12 08:45:10

I emailed Made.com about their use of naked women to demonstrate furniture. They didn't respond, but their models are now dressed at least.

Thisisaeuphemism Fri 23-Nov-12 10:18:50

Wow, EduCated and Sunny, you are setting a good example!

LastMangoInParis Fri 23-Nov-12 11:18:31

I think it's quite often the case that individuals and organisations do modify their behaviour (for the better) if it's pointed out that they've been discriminatory.
IME the immediate response after sexism is pointed out is defensive or dismissive (unless, as Wagamama probably do, they have skilled customer-facing staff who know better than piss off patrons even more and lose business), but thankfully, it's not unusual to find that the point you've made has been taken on board, and acted on, even if you're made to feel like a whinger at the time.

FreudiansSlipper Fri 23-Nov-12 11:42:42

you must be a lipstick lesbian
feminism has done more harm for women than good (this line sadly from other women and makes me sad and shake with rage)
you are too glamorous to be a feminist
women want it all now
what about the men its hard for them too
women are just as abusive as men - that line comes up again and again, read your stats you are providing in full and no one has said women are not abusive

RichardSimmonsTankTop Fri 23-Nov-12 15:22:30

"women want it all now"

Oh how dare we. hmm

Lottapianos Fri 23-Nov-12 15:33:35

'Just to add a positive one - I recently complained to Wagamama about staff handing to card machine to my DP instead of me when it was my card with sodding Miss EduCated on it and they wrote to me to thank me for letting them know and that they would remind all staff not to make assumptions around the bill '

Oh well done you for complaining! This drives me up the wall. I ask for the bill and they hand it to (male) DP! Then come with the card machine and hand it to DP! HELLLLOOOOO! Really glad you had a positive response smile Did you complain at the time or later in writing?

I get the rage when I read or hear comments like 'is that all you have to worry about?', 'there are much bigger issues'. It's so rude and dismissive. You hear it with the gay marriage debate too - 'I really think the government have bigger things to worry about, like the economy' Um excuse me, they are the government - can't they be expected to do a little bit of fecking multitasking?????? <sits down and takes deep breaths>

I wonder if it's because they don't understand the issue and are too embarassed to say smile

And anyone who ever says 'overthinking' should just write 'patronising twit' in indelible marker on their foreheads

FastidiaBlueberry Fri 23-Nov-12 18:28:21

Here's a handy article with the 5 most common bits of crap and how to respond.

V good. grin


Thisisaeuphemism Fri 23-Nov-12 18:54:09

Brilliant fastidia, I shall memorise it!

I never realised some people were at all concerned about the middle east until I started talking about feminism.

AnyFucker Fri 23-Nov-12 19:33:47

yes, v.good

AnnoyedAtWork Fri 23-Nov-12 19:38:40

Haven't read the whole thread but fuckin' well done Original

I work in v male dominated industry, basically it is shit, if you are a woman with kids you are a work shy nob

AnnoyedAtWork Fri 23-Nov-12 19:50:33

Thank you so much Blueberry for that link I have posted it on me Facebook and me twitter grin

FastidiaBlueberry Fri 23-Nov-12 20:16:37

Yes, me too, how concerned all the wotaboutthemenz are about the status of women in the Arab world, how earnestly and energetically they campaign for their liberation... oh, wait...

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 23-Nov-12 21:44:58

How about "Great! Which campaigning group against <"more important" issue> are you in? Happy to sign any petition you've got set up."

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