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Arghhhh Loose Women drving me insane - why am I watching it, please help me!!!

(21 Posts)
madelineashton Mon 15-Oct-12 12:56:02

Why do I put myself through this bile?!?! They are discussing "unwanted male attention" and so far we've had "Women claiming they have been assulted but who won't say who the perpetrator was are just wanting to be victims" and "I have never been abused but that's because I wouldn't stand for it" (Yes, love, because we all have the choice don't we!) plus many more completely unfounded and ridiculous staements. It's like listening to a gang of teenagers who need some gentle education rather than four fully grown women.

FFS, they are awful. And the whole conversation is littered with "obviously we're not talking about Jimmy Saville" because clearly theyve been told theyre not allowed to.

What is the point of the program, women beating women with sticks. Makes me sick. Who needs male misogynists when we are quite capable of making each other feel shit and worthless huh?

KRITIQ Mon 15-Oct-12 14:57:29

Reason 72 I'm glad I don't have a tv.

There have always been women who perpetuate misogyny.

Some perhaps feel they'll get a better deal in a sexist set up if they follow the rules, which means dissing other women and showing no solidarity with them (lest someone realise you, too, are female, so don't belong where you are.)

Some perhaps don't want to acknowledge that they could be at the sharp end of sexism, so they try to rationalise that other women who have suffered abuse or discrimination due to gender are so very different from them - probably did something to bring it on themselves. They don't want to believe gender oppression is a thing, because that would mean having to admit that they, too, are vulnerable.

Some will have absorbed and internalised the conditioning of misogyny, that women basically are inferior to men, very well and feel unable to countenance any other way for the world to be.

None of these reasons for perpetuating misogyny are noble, but they are all rooted in ways some women "cope with" living in an institutionally sexist society.

SamuraiCindy Mon 15-Oct-12 15:37:01

I can't help but think women who do this are incredibly weak, which is so ironic as these same women often run down other women for not being strong - as in the case above. I wish these women could open their eyes and see what they are doing. Not only do their attacks hurt women, they make it easier for misogynist men to hurt women too.

KRITIQ Mon 15-Oct-12 16:04:09

I don't know if the word is weak really. I think too often, we describe women as "strong" when they appear to cope well with an unreasonable situation (including something brought on by institutionalised sexism,) as a "sop" as if they'll feel better being called strong, rather than doing anything about the situation that they had to cope with in the first place.

Rather than weak, maybe they aren't terribly "self aware." To be fair, it can be really scary to realise just how entrenched sexism is in our society, just how many barriers are put up to keep women and girls from being safe, from achieving their aspirations, etc. Sometimes, perhaps it can be easier to try and pretend those barriers aren't there, that institutionalise sexism isn't really a big thing. Perhaps it makes you feel a little less helpless if you think there must be SOMETHING you can do to overcome it - whether that's dress differently, say the right things, avoid certain situations, do what men do in a similar situation, be extra super strong, something like that. Perhaps it can feel just too frightening to look on it full in the face and realise that sometimes, no matter what you do or don't do, you'll get a raw deal just for being female.

I agree, doing things that you think will at least put your own interests further ahead by dissing other women IS colluding with patriarchal oppression. Yes, it is harmful to other women and gives the green light to men who wish to sustain their male privilege through things that harm men. I'm not condoning women who do this even where they think it will lead to a good outcome for them, but I can understand the context within which they do it.

showtunesgirl Mon 15-Oct-12 16:06:33

I hate Loose Women with a passion ever since that small blonde one said that women should BF more discreetly like on the toilet!

cogitosum Mon 15-Oct-12 16:10:22

I watched that today for the first time in ages (off sick) and was absolutely horrified by the attitudes! Women are 'weak' and 'making themselves victims' if they come forward having been abused but are too afraid to name the perpetrator what the actual fuck?!

Lovewearingjeans Mon 15-Oct-12 16:17:08

Seems a bit mean as Colleen Nolan who was a Loose Women, is one of the people who says Jimmy Savile abused her. Perhaps sour grapes because she never told them.

SamuraiCindy Mon 15-Oct-12 16:23:23

Kritiq, yes I see what you mean, and it is a protective thing in a way for them. I suppose I get impatient because I see women (like the women on this board) who have thought about these things and can see the damage this kind of thinking can do, so that I wish ALL women could do that.

madelineashton Mon 15-Oct-12 17:58:27

Thanks goodness, likeminded people! Thank you.

I didn;t know that about Collen. Goodness, that makes it even worse.

The lady that came on as a guest, don't know who she was, made more sense but that god awful women with the southern accent and blonde hair has some real issues.

MrsClown1 Mon 15-Oct-12 19:03:23

I know this is a different subject but I have been called very rude today at work by a female colleague for just saying that I think a female in her mid 20s should be called a woman instead of a 'nice girl' as she had called her. I said well I am sorry if you found that rude, it is just my opinion and her reply was well I dont want your opinion! So much for sisterhood. It makes me sick and makes me feel bad. Sorry just needed to say that because I am feeling really upset at the moment.

MrsClown1 Mon 15-Oct-12 19:09:33

Sorry to sound so pathetic, I know I shouldnt let it bother me but sometimes I wish I was a 'girl' who could keep my mouth shut and just accept things the way they are but I find it so hard.

SamuraiCindy Mon 15-Oct-12 19:12:48

Try not to let her upset you. She simply is not worth you being upset. Your point was spot on - and she was just embarrassed at being called out and lashed out. What she said was rude, not what you said. I think we will always come across people like that in our lives - people who think nothing of unnecessary confrontation and being bad mannered. All you can really do is try to keep away from them as much as possible.

SamuraiCindy Mon 15-Oct-12 19:14:29

And I wish I was as brave as you - I'd love to be more assertive but I am always so afraid of confrontation and angry people.

MrsClown1 Mon 15-Oct-12 19:19:44

Thank you so much, it is really kind of you to say those things SamuraiCindy. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere.

happybubblebrain Mon 15-Oct-12 19:21:18

I watched Loose Women last week. Jerry Hall was a special guest. She said "the man is the head of the household but the woman is the neck who can point the head in the direction she wants". And they all went "ooooooh, that's great, very clever" etc. How is that clever? Which century are they living in?

showtunesgirl Mon 15-Oct-12 19:26:03

She's a very old-fashioned Southern Belle type though isn't she? Half her quips on Strictly are about being appealing to men.

CaptainHetty Mon 15-Oct-12 19:33:40

Glad it wasn't just me. I watched this for the first time in years today and tuned out completely as soon as one of them (dunno their names) mentioned being inappropriately groped and another one making a half-arsed attempt to excuse it by saying 'but you were doing bar work, that kind of thing. I think when you're dressed in hot pants and your job is to attract male attention they don't realise where to draw the line' or something like that.

And here's me thinking your job behind a bar was to serve drinks. How silly of me hmm

madelineashton Mon 15-Oct-12 19:40:28

Oh ha ha yes! And then a conversation about whether or not men really know what is wrong or right anyway! FFS, and some of them have sons too!

CaptainHetty Mon 15-Oct-12 19:46:43

I also had to lol at that woman's 'well I don't have to worry about my man cheating, because I know he wouldn't'. Pretty sure all the people who've been cheated on thought that, as well, you daft moo.

SamuraiCindy Mon 15-Oct-12 19:47:57

Thank you so much, it is really kind of you to say those things SamuraiCindy. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere.

You're welcome. smile There are definitely people out there who will get you and understand you!! The ones who don't, like that woman, don't really matter.

madelineashton Mon 15-Oct-12 20:16:22

Yes!!! How bloody rude of her, like we're all stupid if it happens to us

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