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My gender stereotyping moan of the day

(44 Posts)
YoullLaughAboutItOneDay Mon 15-Oct-12 12:39:34

I have posted quite a lot recently about gender stereotypes and the arguments for and against 'innate' characteristics of the sexes. It has been something on my mind recently and I have become even more aware of the comments that are made on a daily basis.

Today, we went to the supermarket. DD2 (16 months) was having an independence moment and was determined to walk, plus help me carry one of the carrier bags back to the car. Two people commented:

- Person one (mistook her for a boy) : Isn't he strong, helping his mummy
- Person two: Aw, isn't she sweet, she wants to do the shopping.

I know these people may have said the same to the opposite gender, and I am not criticising either of them as such. But just ARRRRGGGHHH. Comment to a boy on strength. Comment to a girl on being sweet and wanting to go shopping.

OneHandFlapping Mon 15-Oct-12 12:50:19

And young children absorb those messages, and become preoccupied with complying with gender specific roles IME.

My gender stereotyping moan of the day is this ad .

Women are:

a) airhead shopaholics
b) mumsy grocery buying drudges
c) mad cat ladies

Men are:

a) trawler fishermen
b) sport cyclists
c) criminals
d) in the pub with a pint


samandi Mon 15-Oct-12 13:08:12

Ha! I doubt they would have said the same about the opposite sex child. It's mindless.

Startailoforangeandgold Mon 15-Oct-12 13:15:30

That ad is truly awful and like the OPs comments seems to suggest women are only fit for shoppingangry

YoullLaughAboutItOneDay Mon 15-Oct-12 13:36:47

In the same vein as the adverts this one gives me the rage too. The dad must be a reasonably competent cook - he thinks to stuff a chicken breast (even if it is with Philly, yuck) and wrap it in bacon. But we have to have a whole 'oh, mum's out so I'm cooking' and lots of eye rolling at the thought he could do it properly. It's like something the Apprentice candidate roll out.

samandi Tue 16-Oct-12 09:02:00

YoullLaugh - yes, I had a small rant about that one the other day :-)

Lottapianos Tue 16-Oct-12 13:02:37

OP, that would send me ranty too. And people dont' seem to realise how prevalent these messages are and seem to think it's all down to 'hardwiring' hmm

TotoroOnTheCatBus Mon 22-Oct-12 20:37:14

This s one of the reasons I tend to leave dd dressed as a boy.. she gets comments on how big/strong/friendly/talkative she is.. Dressed as a girl, aren't you so pretty, look at your pretty dress..

I try and tell her how big and strong she is as often as I can in a positive way. She won't hear as she gets older (not in a nice way anyway) as she is a girl and she will be big and strong. I'm nearly 6 foot and dh is 6'3 so it is a sure thing and I don't want her to internalize the idea the girls should be dainty and weak.

OneMoreChap Tue 23-Oct-12 15:38:31

... I don't want her to internalize the idea the girls should be dainty and weak.

This! Thank you! I detest this drive for some parents - both male and female - to wrap their kids in sodding cotton wool. DD and DS were taught to climb, throw balls, ride bikes, get muddy, cope with scabbed knees, swim in open water.

DS and DD were similarly taught easy cooking, sewing buttons, trouser hems, changing plugs and using power tools. [OK, chainsaws waited till they were teens... so they could wear the kit]

Aaaargh when I see daddy's little pwincesses, mummy's bwave climbing hero.

TotoroOnTheCatBus Tue 23-Oct-12 18:25:57

.. ah have you seen a "future WAG" t-shirt.. Dh practically had to physically restrain me from throttling the parents. Sigh

OneMoreChap Tue 23-Oct-12 18:55:25

Jeez. paucity of aspiration, imagination and ambition, or what?

I find it very difficult to praise my ds for things that are not typically said to boys, because most of the positive things said to small children about their characteristics or achievements are more masculine, all the positive things said to girls are about their appearance. So whilst I occasionally call him sweet, or doesn't he look lovely in that top, mostly I praise his curiosity, strength, activity, intelligence.
I make sure I say these things to his female friends too, but I rarely have to edit the things I saw to ds whereas I often have to self edit things I say to his girlfriends. Sad, but true.

Pet hate phrase ' typical boy'

No. typical baby. Grrr

HenriettaChicken Wed 24-Oct-12 11:06:52

My experience exactly, MakesCakesWhenStressed.

I have a 6 month DS. When he's kicking his legs about he's a 'little footballer'. Girls, however, are 'little ballerinas'. hmm

And this stereotyping started in the womb!

droid400004 Wed 24-Oct-12 19:51:39

a lady in the street today called my son (dressed in hot pink trousers, red wellies and a green coat, pushing his baby doll in a barbie pushchair) a sweet girl - I enjoyed her face when I told her he was a boy smile

YoullLaughAboutItOneDay Wed 24-Oct-12 20:32:50

Today's annoyance. Three three year olds all complaining about getting socks and shoes on after a swimming lesson. Mother says 'Oh, it's a boy thing, boys are lazy.'. She was crouching next to her son and another little boy. Hadn't noticed that the third child moaning was my DD.

I mean, for god's sake, do we have to make toddler whining a gendered issue?

HenriettaChicken Thu 25-Oct-12 11:19:58

And my annoyance of the day. A friend's DD is turning 2 and she's after gift suggestions.

So far: dolls' house, pram & doll, kitchen.

angry sad

Oooh, I saw advertised on freecycle Girls toys: cuddly toys, dolls, a small play kitchen, play house
So, dolls and can just about understand because society really frowns on it (poor DS1 even got teased at school for playing with a doll. luckily the teacher overheard and squashed the other child) but kitchens, cuddly toys and play houses are for girls are they?

YoullLaughAboutItOneDay Thu 25-Oct-12 12:36:30

My suggestions for what DD loved at two - Lego, scooter, play food and play cooker, train set. smile

ninjasquirrel Thu 25-Oct-12 17:33:40

My moan - ad in today's paper "19 smelly socks. 12 sweaty shirts. 5 dirty jumpers and 1 washing fairy" Picture of woman gazing into the distance "Being a mum can be hard but choosing your energy deal shouldn't be..."

Oh fuck off.

rogersmellyonthetelly Sun 28-Oct-12 18:02:28

Girls should be dainty and weak - how many times did I hear this implied in my childhood! As a result I was chronically self conscious as a teenager and young woman about my height, build and my large hands and unladylike size 8 feet.
Thankfully common sense took over in the end and I now see myself as being a perfectly normal woman, just built on a slightly bigger scale than the average. it has it's advantages, my huge handspan means I can pick things Up in one hand that most people need two hands for, my strength means I rarely need to ask for help with lifting stuff, and size 8 shoes are plentiful in the sales :0) gotta look on the bright side of life.

Yama Sun 28-Oct-12 18:15:13

The main reason I like ds's hair long (he is 2) is so that people don't treat him like a boy so much. We have had so much programming to treat boys and girls differently that it's hard to break the habit. And most people don't see the need to break the habit.

Society has told my daughter that it is good to be pretty. As yet, I don't think the dainty message has hit her and the Princess stuff I actively combat.

SkaterGrrrrl Sun 28-Oct-12 18:45:44

My son is 2 weeks old. Relatives on meeting him have commented on his strength and his "strong features". A fiver says had I dressed him in pink, his features would have been described as "dainty".

grumpyinthemornings Tue 06-Nov-12 21:11:43

droid I think I've seen your lad grin or one very similar. DP got a slap for saying prams and dolls were girl toys...

ProcrastinatingPanda Tue 06-Nov-12 21:23:54

I seen calendars and organisers for sale a few days ago, they were all pink or ''Mum's family organiser". Why can't it be 'parents family organiser'?

That and the Fairy advert, that makes me see red.

HenriettaChicken Wed 07-Nov-12 00:09:49

Panda, steer clear of the new Asda add then. angry

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