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3yo DS has declared 'pink is for girls and mummy and blue is for boys and daddy'

(23 Posts)
Kveta Thu 27-Sep-12 15:44:34


where the feck has he got this from? yes, DD wears some pink we've been given for her, but also wears blue - DS has mainly primary coloured toys, nothing overtly 'boy', same for his clothes.

any ideas how to teach him that there is no colour for girls or colour for boys? he even decided a purple toy car wasn't as good a a blue one because 'it's a girl car mummy'


Pochemuchka Thu 27-Sep-12 15:55:34

Just had a similar thing with DD (3)
She has started to declare toys/clothes as 'boys' and 'girls'.
We have never done this - both DD and DS (19 m) have a mix of colours in clothing (DD does have a preference for pink/purple but so does DS at the moment!). They both dress up in dressing up clothes and shoes and play with babies/cars/whatever and have both insisted on me painting their toenails!
I can only assume she has got this from nursery.
At the moment I just gently say 'toys/pink/whatever is for boys and girls if that's what they like'. She seems to accept this so I'll persevere with it!

I'm not undoing all the hard work I did on their father who comes from a very sexist family, who were disgusted hmm that their grandson was dressing up in 'girls' dressing up stuff, and has just started to let them express themselves as they choose.

Tincletoes Thu 27-Sep-12 15:58:59

My 3 year old DS did just the same thing and I was equally baffled.

Anyway... Fast forward 2 years, and pink is cool, apparently, because James says so. So I wouldn't worry too much just yet.

MoChan Thu 27-Sep-12 22:32:03

They pick it up once they are "out there".

My other half (who is male) owns two pink t-shirts and two pink work shirts. When my DD starting picking up that message I made him wear them as much as possible...

WidowWadman Thu 27-Sep-12 22:42:42

My 3.9 yo daughter recently started with this, to which I usually just say "but that's a really silly thing to say, isn't it?" and then will point out that Daddy looks smashing in his pink shirt (he does), and that toys are for children not boys or girls.

Princessofdarkness Thu 27-Sep-12 22:52:20

Ds started saying this too, i explained that i hate pink, and i like blue, so now he says "pink is for girls, except mummy" hmm

wannabedomesticgoddess Thu 27-Sep-12 22:57:35

DD 3.9 says this sometimes.

I put it down to her stepmum who once told her black and gold nail polish was a silly colour for a girl. She wanted to be like mummy but so what if it wasnt pink.

Princessofdarkness Thu 27-Sep-12 23:02:01

I love black and gold smile

Kveta Fri 28-Sep-12 09:22:47

oh good, glad it's not just my child! I did tell him he was being ridiculous when he declared the car not so good. sigh. even the childminder is bemused by it, as she (like me) is not promoting any gender specific toys or colours.

thunksheadontable Mon 01-Oct-12 00:00:41

Ds did this at less than two and a half, refused a pink cup.
We went online and looked at pictures of men in pink shirts/with pink ties and women in blue outfits and boys in pink/girls in blue etc etc until all combinations had been done and his dad wore pink and I wore blue for about a week and just reinforced it. Which we will repeat when if it comes up again.

avenueone Mon 01-Oct-12 00:05:54

It is everywhere ... even saw `pink smarties' in the supermarket for Christmas this week and to keep it out of their precious minds it take A LOT of re-enforcement IMO. My DS is 7 and even though he understandably still says things similar as he hears it day in, day out in school -I was so proud to hear him tell the neighbours daughter how he would like some pink shoes as pink shoes are not just for girls. grin

InvisibleHotPinkWeasel Mon 01-Oct-12 00:08:29

Oh good, more strawberry ice cream for mummy and none for you and daddy. You don't get blue ice cream.

InvisibleHotPinkWeasel Mon 01-Oct-12 00:09:41

Pointing out boy flamingos and boy pigs helps too grin

LeFreak Mon 01-Oct-12 00:10:57

They get it from other kids and from TV.

Theskyisgrey Wed 09-May-18 02:13:08

This is a great book for talking about harmful gender stereotypes with younger children - Pink is a Girls Color and other silly things people say

..from the parent of a gender exploring child

DisturblinglyOrangeScrambleEgg Wed 09-May-18 05:07:28

Ds2 can home from a new school saying that boys liked black and flames and skulls and cool stuff, and girls liked pink and purple and flowers and pretty stuff.

This was all because of his new mate.

A few months on and we're back to normal nearly, where he picks the pink stuff and chooses whatever he wants at the time.

It does help that DP declares his favorite color is purple, mine is blue, and DS1 couldn't care less and loves giving the colors and toys are for everyone lecture to his little brother..

Ekphrasis Wed 09-May-18 08:28:02

From other kids at Nursery. And paw patrol.

Get Dh a pink shirt and show him a football team of blokes in pink shirts.

Keep repeating. It's just parroting at this age in my experience - my son (5) now says he likes dark pink.

Ekphrasis Wed 09-May-18 08:28:35

Ooooh zombie thread...

LangCleg Wed 09-May-18 08:55:04

Yes everyone - please note the strategy of reviving ZOMBIE THREADS.

MrGHardy Wed 09-May-18 10:04:36

“Anyway... Fast forward 2 years, and pink is cool, apparently, because James says so. So I wouldn't worry too much just yet.“

There you go. Peer group, be it just observing the peer group or listening to those inside the peer group whose opinion you value, determine those attitudes. If most parents dress girls ‘girly’ and boys ‘boyish’, kids will think that’s what is true. And stereotypes are thus ingrained.

DisturblinglyOrangeScrambleEgg Wed 09-May-18 10:12:21

Fuck.. Sorry.. Will double check dates next time!

UpstartCrow Wed 09-May-18 10:13:44

Don't tell him he's being ridiculous.

Atthebottomofthesea Wed 09-May-18 12:31:48

I know it is a zombie thread and all but my 6 yr old has often come out with this, I just say that girls and boys can like any color or toys.

She thinks boys should have short hair, anyone with long hair is a girl. apart from LM who she looked at and said boy It doesn't quite work the other way so I can have short hair and still be a girl.

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