A thread for "I can't believe that just happened to me! In this day and age!"
Yesterday we spent about 40 minutes in a Toyota dealership, looking to spend about $10k on a used car. The salesman only asked DH's name, only wrote down DH's number, and only talked to DH about the cars available. DH kept referring to me, asking my opinion, and generally looking uncomfortable. Eventually DH snatched back his license from the salesman and said "No, I don't think so. Let's go." And as I turned I added "Joe? Thank you for your help today. I work in sales and I wanted you to know that since I walked in here you haven't asked me a single question, or addressed me directly even once. At one point you walked away from me, talking to my husband about the next car you were showing us, so that I couldn't hear what you said. I just want you to know that I earn more than my husband (actually not yet true, but soon will be!), I know more about cars than my husband (v.true), and you acted like I didn't exist. Which is why we're leaving."
When I got into our car, DH was cheering. We drove 5 miles away and bought a nissan.
As we were doing the dishes last night, talking about this, DH said "I do hope you tell Mumsnet about it." 
he knows me so well.
Feminism: Sex & gender discussions
In this day and age! A thread for unbelievably obvious examples of sexism.
blackcurrants · 18/09/2012 12:31
I called a holiday company about a last-minute deal I'd seen on Teletext Holidays, and on the other end of the phone was a man giving me the horrible hard-sell, including adding on a raft of extras which almost doubled the price of the holiday that had been advertised. OK, no, that's too expensive, I said, preparing to put the phone down. He then started trying to bargain with me, and his main argument was that I should 'call my husband to ask for more money' 
Car buying drives me nuts. I drive a lot for work, have a company car allowance, yet the dealerships only ever want to talk to dh. Who has none of it, and we've walked away on a number of occasions due to the sales attitude.
Working as I do in a v male dominated industry, I get lots of sexism. Ranging from people questioning what happens to ds when I travel (umm, dh looks after him..), telling me they wouldn't like it if their wife travelled etc.
But my favourite ever was at a conference - we have a big exhibition booth, do demos of software, available to talk about issues etc. Guy comes over 'I need to talk to someone about x' 'yes, I can help you' 'no, I need an expert' 'yes, that would be me' and so on. So he decided to try and test me on this, which was fine. He just could not believe that a woman would know this. Best thing was a customer friend who had done a lot of work with me on implementing this thing was waiting to chat, and I could see him pissing himself laughing at all this. He suggested after that I keep a false beard to help people feel comfortable
These posts have me pulling faces at my screen that alternate between and
Maybe I should have had a fake beard handy yesterday? :)
Where to start!
Although, it has got better as I have got older. I think being young and female seems to be percieved as incapable. Middle aged and female, sometimes I am given the benefit of the doubt!
Recently went into a posh jewellers as I am thinking of getting myself a nice watch for Christmas (circa £1250). When the sales woman asked what the occasion was, I said it was for Christmas. Cue her saying I would have to do more ironing and cleaning to put DH in a good mood .
I said that probably wouldn't work as I don't do much housework and DH does all the ironing.
the idea that we need things bought for us by indulgent owners partners is always egregious and shocking, isn't it?
DH does the ironing in this family, too. Partly cos I'm not very good at it, but mainly cos they're his shirts and he's an adult. It's not rocket science, is it? :) But my mum nearly fainted when she found out... 
This reply has been deleted
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This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
A female friend answered the door to a delivery driver with a parcel recently:
Delivery man: I've got a parcel for Dr Smith
Friend: I'll take it
Delivery man: But it's for Dr Smith. When would be good to arrange a re-delivery?
Friend: No, it's ok, I'll take it
Delivery man: 
Friend: Because I am Dr Smith
Friend: 1, Delivery man: 0
On a positive note, my DH has ordered a good few things for the house lately and has used "Dr Dana" on the orders showoff. All the delivery/workmen have assumed I'm the doctor :) One (very stereotypical workman type) even asked me to look at his foot! I had to explain I wasn't a doctor, and my DH isn't that type of doctor so he was on a hiding to nothing .
Not so encouraging is the fact that when I go out with my SAHD friend and his daughter, people always assume we're a couple and either that our children are twins,despite the fact that they couldn't look more different than each other, or that we are both single parents who are now together and raising our children together. Either way it is assumed that I am responsible for both children and that the friend is just in the background, because he's a man. No one can seem to get their head around that 1) we are friends, not a couple 2) my friend is a SAHD who does all the normal things like going out to the park and soft play with other SAHPs and 3) despite being a woman I don't in fact make all the decisions for all the children in my vicinity and that if something needs to be sorted for my friend's child then I am not the person to ask, her actual factual parent, who is standing right there, and who is perfectly competent, is the person in charge. I feel sorry for my friend really. He is a fantastic SAHD yet wherever he goes he is sort of invisible.
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