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Why men use prostitutes

(31 Posts)
EatsBrainsAndLeaves Sat 01-Sep-12 09:55:55

The Guardian has this article on why men use prostitutes.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/jan/15/why-men-use-prostitutes?fb=optOut

"just over half were either married or in a relationship with a woman."

"Research published in 2005 found that the numbers of men who pay for sex had doubled in a decade."

"Almost half said they ­believed that most women in prostitution are victims of pimps ("the pimp does the ­psychological raping of the woman," explained one). But they still continued to visit them."

"Ahmed said he thought the woman might feel "relief that I'm not going to kill her"."

"Lots of men go to prostitutes so they can do things to them that real women would not put up with."

emonslemons Sat 01-Sep-12 10:15:02

this article is from 2010! but intresting......

ecclesvet Sat 01-Sep-12 10:20:38

A sample size of 100 men, from one city, being paid for their 'story'? Hmm.

webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/20110218135832/rds.homeoffice.gov.uk/rds/pdfs09/horr27c.pdf

"The research indicates there is no one central reason why some men seek out prostitutes; rather there are complex and multifaceted motivations underlying this behaviour. These include:
- desiring ‘no strings’ sex;
- wanting a ‘girlfriend experience’;
- difficulties with conventional sexual relationships;
- separation from a regular partner;
- sexual gratification;
- capacity to request specific sex acts;
- status and peer pressure;
- curiosity, risk or excitement; to exercise control;
- compulsive or opportunistic reasons
See Appendix 5 for a fuller discussion of typologies and motivations of client."

Leithlurker Sat 01-Sep-12 11:17:43

Yet another thread about prostitutes, even though in one article I posted on the other thread you started eats, it is made clear that the HUMANS who earn their living by doing sex work prefer not to be called prostitutes. but hay ho I suspect the more emotive the language the more the political campaign of some feminists gains energy.

However to give you an answer to your question:

People not just men by sex as our society has closed off other avenues of people exploring their sexuality, or from experiencing the type of sex that they want.

EatsBrainsAndLeaves Sat 01-Sep-12 11:36:43

Prostitutes are not sex workers. Prostitution is not just another job, as the term sex work claims.

Men do not have the right to use women to have the type of sex they want.

Malificence Sat 01-Sep-12 12:06:07

There has never been an easier time for people to find other, willing and able to make a free choice, people with whom to have sex - so the "closed off avenues" argument makes no sense.
When it's so easy to find like minded people online for consensual, no strings sex, why are some men still paying women who are very likely to be prostitutes out of need and not of truly free choice?

My own view is that the men who use prostitutes are either totally inadequate human beings with zero emotional intelligence, or they are abusers who want to hurt women/girls/boys.

HmmThinkingAboutIt Sat 01-Sep-12 12:13:46

When it's so easy to find like minded people online for consensual, no strings sex, why are some men still paying women who are very likely to be prostitutes out of need and not of truly free choice?

Because its cheaper than going on a date and buying drinks for a girl, theres no danger of the rules of the 'no strings' agreement being changed and you can get it on demand and not go out looking for it.

Paraphrasing the words of an aquaintance who has just discovered a brothel round the corner from his house where he can get sex for £40.

Leithlurker Sat 01-Sep-12 12:26:42

"Men do not have the right to use women to have the type of sex they want."

Let us try that again but with a change of emphasis:
"Men should not want to use women to have different type of sex that they desire."

If your saying men do not have aright to own women's bodies then we agree and that's the end of that. If your saying humans should only have sex with one consenting partner in a relationship which is emotional as well as physical then your talking about imposing morality. Go back to what I gave as an answer to your original question, talking about rights in an issue that is about human actions is at best misleading since no one of a balanced mind would argue that anyone has the "right" to enforce sexual slavery on another. Or for politicle narrow reasons your choosing to conflate issues and not address the individual parts.

Evidenced by your refusal to acknowledge not what I have said about calling it sex work but what those involved in it have said. I care that people get treated with respect, they get to choose what they are called or should I now just address you as "love"?

Leithlurker Sat 01-Sep-12 12:36:48

Geographicle, time, caring duties, work patterns. Shyness, learning difficulty, physicle disability, instant gratification. All reasons I can think of for doing other than going through an online source of dating. As an alternative they could hang around isolated car parks and see if there ar any couples out "dogging", is that more acceptable?

EatsBrainsAndLeaves Sat 01-Sep-12 13:01:33

Or simply accept that they do not have the right to sex or any kind of sex act they want? And if they want sex they have to through the "bother" of trying to find a consensual partner that they treat with respect.

And please dont lie. Many prostitutes, current and exited ones can see the lies behind the term sex worker and do not agree with it. It is true that some sex worker organisations run by pimps argue this, but most prostitutes do not.

Leithlurker Sat 01-Sep-12 13:36:53

Eats you are calling me a Liar, nice. But I did not actually say that I quoted and do so again from www.iusw.org/ the union formed by and run by the people who WORK in this area. You speak of rights to a woman's body but you silence and dismiss women that you do not political agree with. Nice form of feminist action there then.

Leithlurker Sat 01-Sep-12 13:46:21

I suppose men and women who engage in affairs whilst in relationships should be taken to the stocks for daring to have sex they are not entitled to. But of course you would have to have women in the same stocks, you would need to address the rather inconvienat human trait of liking sex for the sake of sexd, or the fact that todays sexual practices does as much to free up women's choice and independence as it does to promote men buying sex. Funny the bedfellows that we find ourselves in with, I would never have thought that feminists would be cohabiting with puritans or the conservative right

BoneyBackJefferson Sat 01-Sep-12 15:23:12

Any article that says why "men" use prostitutes is going to be wrong.

The articles can only say why certain men or a man use prostitutes.

TiggyD Sun 02-Sep-12 10:25:07

Another popular reason why men use prostitutes is confused sexuality. Young men who either don't know what their sexuality is and feel they NEED to experiment to decide, or men who are gay but in denial but want to 'force themselves straight'.

EatsBrainsAndLeaves Sun 02-Sep-12 11:19:55

They dont have to use prostitutes for that though. Many women are confused about their sexuality and they dont use prostitutes to resolve this

JuliaScurr Sun 02-Sep-12 11:23:39

The IUSW is not a union; it's run by pimps like Fox and donates to the Conservative Party - free enterprise

EatsBrainsAndLeaves Sun 02-Sep-12 11:36:43

And you can have good enjoyable sex and want others to do so, and still be against prostitution. But calling women who object to anything like prostitution or pornography, prudes and sex hating, is the oldest trick in the book.

SardineQueen Sun 02-Sep-12 12:59:19

Do young men really hire other young men to have sex with if they are confused about their sexuality? I was not aware of that being a common thing. Would be interested to read more about it.

I imagine that the majority of men and boys working as prostitutes are in as dire situations / backgrounds as the women and girls so it makes no sense to exclude men and boys who are prostituted. Not that I imagine many on FWR would do this I guess the focus on women and girls is due to the numbers.

SardineQueen Sun 02-Sep-12 13:02:37

ROFL @ "dating sites" and having to buy girls drinks and dinner grin

What a strangely naive view of how things are in the UK!

You know there are sites for people to get together just to fuck, right? Including people who are in relationships? You know that men and women are EQUAL and women actually ENJOY sex and that people but drinks for each other these days and that many women enjoy a quick bunk-up as well as a man?

I think the sticking point here is that a woman who is not being paid cannot be TOLD what to do in bed (well unless that's her bag, you know).

SardineQueen Sun 02-Sep-12 13:04:04

Plus what of all the poor blokes out there who WANT an emotional connection before they have sex?

They do exist you know. Some on here would insist that all men are just hormone driven cavemen who need to stick it up something and don't really care what but blimey what a shocking view of men.

HmmThinkingAboutIt Sun 02-Sep-12 13:06:19

You know there are sites for people to get together just to fuck, right? Including people who are in relationships? You know that men and women are EQUAL and women actually ENJOY sex and that people but drinks for each other these days and that many women enjoy a quick bunk-up as well as a man?

Acquaintance mentioned above is well aware of dating sites etc. He's used them enough.

carmenelectra Sun 02-Sep-12 13:27:34

Men have various reasons(excuses) for using prostitutes I guess. I actually haven't really got a problem with men paying for sex in exceptional circumstances. There are some men that are so painfully shy that perhaps get to a certain age where they have never even touched a woman. The situation gets so awkward that the chance of dating passes them by and they see no other option. Although the percentage of such men must really be very small.

Then I guess if you believe the punters or happy hookers they are men who don't need to pay and they are actually very good looking etc but they do pay because it's easier with no strings attached.

I believe the vast majority though are just middle aged married men who basically want to shag woman who would never look at them twice. these men use the excuse that it's easier than an affair. Like anyone would have an affair with them anyway. In other words they are using it an an excuse to cheat.

Dana1980 Tue 04-Sep-12 01:13:50

@leithlurker "it is made clear that the HUMANS who earn their living by doing sex work prefer not to be called prostitutes."

You are right, the term sex worker is preferred although prostitute is much better than some other names.

Anyway IMO I find that study highly biased and I think the author of it set out with an agenda and cherry-picked responses to meet that agenda.

The author spoke to 12 men but the research project interviewed 700 (and 700 is probably a small number compared to the total number of customers in the country). And this is supposed to be "major research" and represent customers of sex work in general?

Here are some suggestions of my own which I think are more realistic (just suggestions). Customers can be male or female (or even a couple) but I'll say men here:

1. Men who find it difficult to find sex otherwise because they may be disabled, unattractive or socially inept.

2. An outlet for men who just want sex without the difficulties or hassle that may come with a one night stand or a relationship. Or people who don't want to risk facing the humiliation of rejection. There is more discretion having sex with a sex worker.

3. Men who want to have sex with different women or try things that might be seen as unusual or stigmatized. Or men who want sex with women who are much better looking than women they would normally be able to get.

DioneTheDiabolist Tue 04-Sep-12 01:16:42

Prostitutes are real women.

zeffa101 Mon 10-Mar-14 22:46:16

People (both men and women) pay for sex for a multiplicity of reasons including the desire for intimacy, to quell a feeling of lonleness or just to have a sexual release. Provided the sex worker is over the age of consent and intercourse is consensual there ought to be no issue with men (or women) paying for sex.

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