For all those who have wondered why mansplaining is even a thing

[FastidiaBlueberry]

I think this article explains quite well, the concept of mansplaining and why it's so bloody irritating.

It's often said that it's "explaining something while being a man". Not quite.
Happy reading.

www.motherjones.com/media/2012/08/problem-men-explaining-things-rebecca-solnit

[TunipTheVegemal]

That's very good. Thanks for linking.

[ecclesvet]

Didn't really get much from that article, to be honest. Seems like a bunch of anecdotes about how she was talked over at a dinner party, or someone bluffed that he'd read a book when he's only read a review. I think it's just bad luck meeting some boorish know-it-alls, and some heavy confirmation bias.

[ecclesvet]

I looked the term up on Urban Dictionary, which got to the point:

"To explain in a patronizing manner, assuming total ignorance on the part of those listening. The mansplainer is often shocked and hurt when their mansplanation is not taken as absolute fact, criticized or even rejected altogether."

Right, I'm far more open to that. Although I can't see why anything in there can't apply to women also. Do we also need a 'femsplain', 'gaysplain', 'transplain', 'Tory-splain', 'Marx-splain', etc?

[FastidiaBlueberry]

You'll have to explain what you mean by all those terms ecclesvat because I don't understand them.

Explaining to gay people what homophobia is, is very patronising and ridiculous and I understand that use of gaysplain. The others I'm not sure of. Mansplain works because it is based on the idea that men are brought up to expect their opinions to be listened to and treated with respect, however uninformed and based less on knowledge of the subject area than women. It's like however much research and reading women have done on the subject, however much they know about it, the man in question has an automatic right to have his opinion examined as seriously as her's just because he is a man.

How do your other categories fit that?

[namechangeguy]

Is this about men who only have this tendency towards women? Do people think that men like the boor in the article only have this attitude towards women, or that he would ride roughshod over anybody within hearing range, female or male?

[SigmundFraude]

It's an article about boorish men. Meh.

My favourite 'splaining' is 'radsplaining'.

Rad 'women want '

Women 'No we don't'

Rad 'Yes you do, you just don't know it because the patriarchy brainwashes you and your thoughts are not your own'.

Women: 'Bullshit'

Rad: 'Handmaiden, MRA, man etc...........................'

[SabrinaMulhollandJones]

You think it's RadFem vs AllOtherWomen then sigmund? How odd.

[SigmundFraude]

Well, it really does depend on your POV, which is subjective, naturally. What you consider odd, I consider pretty accurate.

The radfem's version of society strikes me as discriminating against and demonising my sons and all men odd.

Horses for courses eh?

[SabrinaMulhollandJones]

Indeed.

[blackcurrants]

wow, even after almost all the self-confessed radical feminists have been driven off this board, they're still getting bashed all the time.

Amazing.

[SigmundFraude]

Driven off? I must have missed that one.

Btw, you're not allowed to discuss that.

[Sausageeggbacon]

Actually I think Fraude is about right probably because I am thinking of my two boys

[TunipTheVegemal]

I have two boys and I very much hope they won't grow up to be mansplainers as so many men do.

A lot of them to grow into it in middle age - I am observing it now in many male friends and husbands of friends who appear to be losing their ability to listen to women. Conversations at mealtimes that used to be quite evenly balanced in terms of male/female participation (or rather, the men did occupy most of the speech but not by so much) now consist of the men taking it in turns to hold forth while the women who are just as intelligent and interesting get interrupted when they try to put their view.

I heard a very good evocation of mansplaining from someone describing what it was like on the high table at then almost totally male-dominated Cambridge colleges - someone would ask you a question then answer it for you. The woman in question worked at the British Antarctic Survey and was always getting people who had never met anyone who worked there before telling her what it must be like for her.

[namechangeguy]

Do these rude men only talk over women? Do they defer to other mansplainers? If so, how? Is there a hierarchy?

[SigmundFraude]

It would probably be more productive to actually say to the boorish man, 'Hang on a sec, I was just about to say xyz....', or start every conversation with 'I'm a very intelligent woman, so please don't interrupt me with your meaningless man words'.

Maybe these 'mansplainers' only home in on shrinking violets who will only ever talk to other shrinking violets in the ladies loos, or online.

I do believe I could be described as a 'personsplainer'. I irritate both genders.

[TunipTheVegemal]

Hierarchy - can be; tends to be more in work settings than in home settings IME.

[MediumOrchid]

It seems a rather sexist term to me. Yes, the men in the article were very patronising and sexist, but to extend that to all men, or a 'typical man', by giving it the name 'mansplaining' seems pretty sexist in itself. I note the author doesn't actually use that term in the article.

If there existed the term 'womandriving' which meant driving without sufficient care or spacial awareness, I think we would all object to that, as it implies all women, or the typical woman, are poor drivers. I can't see a difference between that and 'mansplaining'. I don't think it's something most men do at all, my dh doesn't, nor does my father, nor any of the men I work with.

If a man explains something in a patronising way because his listener is a woman, by all means challenge him on it as we should when presented with sexism, but lets not let that one example make us view all men in the same way.

[MooncupGoddess]

Ah yes Tunip - I have often wondered when young, reasonably civilised men turn into tedious middle-aged men, and it sounds like you've been granted a front seat on the transformation process. Perhaps one could film the changes over the years and then show it speeded up, a la David Attenborough and flowers opening.

[TunipTheVegemal]

Arf Mooncup.

When they turn 40.

[namechangeguy]

But these men work with other men as well as women, so they can either reserve their boorish tactics for women only, or inflict their bad manners on everyone is range. For those who have observed it first hand, I'd like to know which it is.

For example, how does a table full of male Oxbridge dons conduct their interactions? Or Tunip's male friend at dinner? That doesn't sound like a work environment to me.

[monsterchild]

I've met plenty of women who do this. I used to do this myself. I probably still do when drunk a bit tipsy, as I have often been accused of being a boring know-it-all.

The people who do this the most seem to be middle aged and pre-teens.
Just my personal observations.

[monsterchild]

I'd like to point out that while I may indeed know it all, I am not at all boring.

[OneMoreChap]

Am I allowed a at radsplaining?

[madwomanintheattic]

I have been sufficiently acculturated to find the author's 'several actually' response, almost as boorish as Mr Important. I don't think it's because she's a woman, although I am examining that critically.

I would, however, have laughed like a drain myself as I rolled home. Some folk are just self important wankers.

I absolutely understand the term 'mansplaining', and it does typify a certain attitude, but am uncomfortable with it for the 'womandriving' reasons cited. That doesn't mean it isn't bang on, in context, just as 'womandriving' would be. (in the interests of full disclosure, I'm a crap driver. It's nowt to do with being a woman, though.)