The Marriage Foundation

[mcmooncup]

Am I the only one totally ick'ed up about this campaign that appears to have launched this week.

www.marriagefoundation.org.uk/Web/Default.aspx

The judge dude who is responsible for it's conception says "Marriage and family breakdown is one of the most destructive scourges of our time."

I personally think it is great that people, especially women, do not stay in marriages when they are treated like shit. And the undercurrent in this Foundation is that women should put up and shut up, "for the sake of the men children.

I mean, is this statement even true?
"Examine the background of almost every child in care or the youth justice system and you will discover a broken family. Children from broken families are, on every measure of success, less likely to achieve their proper potential and, as their life chances ebb away, the wellbeing of our whole nation suffers."
I always thought that poverty and parental education were the predictors of 'success' in children.

[SardineQueen]

But this is all nonsense.

"For example, in its leading article for January 3, 2012 The Times commented: ?His aim of strengthening the institution at the heart of personal relationships and the raising of children in love, stability and security is surely to be applauded.?

Marriage does not guarantee these things. It is not magical in any way.

At first glance the site looks like drivel.

your points re poverty are of course pertinent.

[SardineQueen]

"Don't give up on your marriage. My message is mend it ? don?t end it. Over 40 years of working in the family justice system, I have seen the fall-out of these broken relationships. There are an estimated 3.8 million children currently caught up in the family justice system, I personally believe that?s a complete scandal. My focus is on the children. I get intensely frustrated: I see hundreds and thousands of people traipsing through the courts and nothing is being done about the problems that sent them here.?

Lot of problems with this
Too much to write now!
I would be surprised if the children ending up in care and crime correlate to divorced parents in that way. I went to selective private school and 50% of my class had divorced parents. They are all doctors and lawyers and bankers now.

Whole thing is nonsense.

[messyisthenewtidy]

I trust they'll be advising husbands to do more housework and childcare then, seeing as that seems to be a crucial factor in marriage breakup, according to LSE.

[SmellsLikeTeenStrop]

They don't seem to be a religious group, or they're hiding it well.

messy if they did that then I would become an overnight supporter but my gut is telling me that, like most other pro-marriage groups, their focus will be on brow-beating women in to putting up with poor behaviour 'for the sake of the children'.

[dictionarydiva]

Just read through the website- man, that has pissed me off!!! Tempted to send them fifty words regarding what I think of their bullshit women-hating propaganda but I fear that they would be the kind of words that they would not approve of. Absolute hogwash!!!! Love that the front page has a picture of some kind of vicarage thing on though, teenstrop, which I think is telling us all we need to know about their religious convictions! toddles off to make some jam and sing hymns as a good wife should, even if hubby is beating you black and blue after an evening down the country ale house

[mcmooncup]

They were on the front page of the DM today, on Breakfast news, C4 news.........

VOM

[mcmooncup]

Oooo I just saw the 50 words section. I'm composing as we speak...........

[PrideOfChanur]

dictionarydiva,I think the "vicarage thing" is the Middle Temple,where the foundation is being launched,and the patrons all seem to be legal/political types,so it all seems legal rather than religious (and the majority of the patrons are women).

Where exactly is the bullshit woman hating propaganda? For example this doesn't seem particularly misogynistic.
"We can have healthier relationships that are less likely to break down. Most people still aspire to marriage, but many slide into relationships that prove unstable, lack the skills for healthy relationships and don?t access help."
No-where on the website does it say that people (women or men) should tolerate bad relationships.
Not everyone wants to be in a long term relationship,but I can't see that an organisation that offers support to a particular brand of long term relationship is so awful.In my personal universe husbands doing more housework and childcare would come under "skills for a healthy relationship"...

[Himalaya]

It does seem to be legal rather than religious in origin.

I guess it is a good thing to bust the myth of "common law" marriage which many people assume gives them the same legal protection, and only find out when it is too late that it doesn't.

[CailinDana]

The idea is really bizarre. The belief behind it seems to be that marriages fail because people don't respect marriage enough and it also seems to be implied that if a cohabiting couple gets married they will be more likely to stay together. There is absolutely no evidence for this whatsoever, it just seems to be personal belief of the founders of the site, which is hardly a solid reason for setting up a foundation. It's just weird IMO.

[MsAnnTeak]

Rather than an exercise in all about the men I view it as about the children, who didn't ask to be brought into the world but on numerous occasions end up being the casualties of divorce. Over the years I've watched children being used as pawns in what is often a viscious circle of tit for tat between the parents, inlaws and anyone else wanting to take a pop at the one they deem to be in the wrong.

As a judge it would be fair to assume he has presided over a fair share of divorces and has a better overview of what happens than most. If he feels it would be better to force those seeking divorce to enter counselling, if only to make the transition and what happens afterwards as smooth as possible for the children that has to be a good thing.
No doubts time will tell.

[MrsMcNulty]

This is on ITV1+1 right now, on This Morning

[carernotasaint]

Im watching too Mrs Mcnulty. I wonder what they would say about sexless marriages where the man has withdrawn affection. I bet they would tell women to just suck it up.
GO DENISE.

[MrsMcNulty]

I thought Denise was excellent and nice and grumpy, and challenged the (male) head of the MF, mainly on the point that his foundation stigmatises single parents by saying kids from "broken" homes could expect to see their futures "ebb away" as a result. Way to make women whose partners have walked out feel a lot worse, is what she was saying in a nutshell (more eloquently put of course).

Didn't mention much about specific circumstances that could lead to break up (although I wasn't listening 100% to all of it, was flitting about doing stuff too!), except that where couples have drifted apart marriages could be saved and people shouldn't be so quick to divorce.

But IMHO groups like this usually have a "blame it on the feminists for giving little women the idea they can make choices" slant to them...

[CailinDana]

My tv is on the blink so I can't watch it but I'd be interested to know what they say about this.