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Gransnet on BBC1 this morning

(17 Posts)
RandomMess Wed 19-Oct-11 21:15:09

Was very shock when the spokesperson from Gransnet said "... working mothers rely on childcare from their parents/fammily..."

I was really quite disappointed that she didn't say working parents sad

TryLikingClarity Thu 20-Oct-11 07:12:28

Didn't see it.

What was the context to the interview?

RandomMess Thu 20-Oct-11 17:13:28

It was to do with the idea of tax breaks being given for older people who downsize their homes. Gransnet spokesperson was saying that just because bedrooms aren't slept in doesn't mean people don't need a decent sized home as a third of working mothers rely on family to look after their children so the grandparents (it may have even have been granddmothers!) still need a garden and decent sized house.

A bit angry about most of it tbh.

TryLikingClarity Thu 20-Oct-11 17:45:28

Oh right, okay.

There is a MN thread about that issue, but no one has yet mentioned the Gransnet faux pas.

Here's the link

I find their point a bit hmm I don't know many grandparents who look after grandkids regularly enough to require a spare room to that extent. And for what it's worth, my own parents are barely in their 50s and would be horrified at that idea.

Birdsgottafly Thu 20-Oct-11 20:46:40

The families that i work with are generally 'proped' up by GP's (CP SW). Like it or not more women have residency of the children, as a statement, she is probably correct.

Perhaps her 'take' on it was generational?

Where i live, Northern WC, GP's regulary care for their GC's to the extent that they do need an extra bedroom.

I have found that it works bothways, now my children are older teens, my mum and care for each other. It also meant that my mum could come out of hospital quicker when she had a stroke because we (including other family)could all stay there.

I agree that moving to a smaller house won't suit the majority.

RandomMess Thu 20-Oct-11 20:50:10

What annoyed me is that if there are 2 parents working and it is a hetrosexual relationship that it isn't "working mothers" that need childcare it is both parents!!! It is this assumption that it is because a mother is working that childcare is needed, not because both parents are working, or the sole parent is working angry and I wouldn't even describe myself as a feminist!

Bossybritches22 Thu 20-Oct-11 21:19:23

Random Mess did it occur to you the spokesperson may have been a tad nervous & it was a slip of the tongue?

I agree annoying but hardly worth getting angry about, I think its great that MN have again been quoted !

SuchProspects Thu 20-Oct-11 21:35:59

What about MN being quoted improves the world Bossy? Not that I think it's bad, but I'm more interested in good points being made than hearing the name of a website I'm involved with. You are right that she could have been nervous, but that doesn't mean it was a good, or accurate, thing to say.

Even in situations where the mother has residency it isn't simply women relying on this help. Those children have fathers too. If the GPs weren't looking after the children while the mother worked then either the father or the state would be taking more of the burden. I intensely dislike the way we talk about childcare (by whoever) as though they are supporting mothers rather than families and the fabric of our society.

Trills Thu 20-Oct-11 21:46:18

Why wouldn't you describe yourself as a feminist? Is it because you think you'll be misunderstood? You probably are one by my reckoning (if you 1 - think that people should be treated/valued/respected equally regardless of gender, 2 - think that this is not currently the case, 3 - would like it to be the case)

Yes, the issue is not about grandparents at all but about the assumption that it is mothers who need help with childcare, not fathers or parents or families.

Trills Thu 20-Oct-11 21:52:02

It's because of this.

Miriam "Not Clegg" Gonzalez Durantez in July:

^Miss Durantez bristled when she was asked how the family managed with the pressure of Mr Clegg’s job as Deputy Prime Minister. “I always get very surprised when I’m asked this question because, you know, I have three children, I have a busy career and I have a very busy husband. Yet my husband has three children, he has a much busier career than I have, and he has a busy wife.
“Nobody would ask him how he balances everything. For some reason there is a kind of assumption in your question that it is my role to balance it,” she said.^

Birdsgottafly Thu 20-Oct-11 21:52:48

Why don't you post this on gransnet?

Personally i do think that it is possibly a generational thing.

Trills Thu 20-Oct-11 21:53:44

Because she wanted to discuss it with Mumsnetters?

If I saw something on TV about Netmums I might want to talk about it with you lot smile

Birdsgottafly Thu 20-Oct-11 22:05:02

I meant it as, why don't you get there opinion, the person on the show may give an explanation and it may have been a lack of thought (old habits die hard).

I am in my 40's and have had to rethink all that i was told growing up.

Birdsgottafly Thu 20-Oct-11 22:05:30

Sorry about the spellings.

TryLikingClarity Fri 21-Oct-11 08:18:53

Trills that quote from Mrs Not Clegg is amusing and true. Of course they can hire live-in nannies and home helpers, which most of the rest of us can't do.

As a woman I do feel pressure that the care of DS is down to me, but see that is a societal pressure and one passed down from older family members.

Dozer Mon 24-Oct-11 15:58:12

See your point, but think that sadly the gransnet person's statement is simply how most people see things.

There are so, so many threads on MN posted by women considering returning to work but saying it's impossible because they (not them and their partner) won't earn enough to pay for childcare, they won't be able to make it work around school hours, cover sickness etc etc. Like it is totally their responsibility.

Of course, the DP/H always earns more money. And cannot for X, Y or Z reason do any of the childcare.

And some posters say things in response like "why not try childminding" or other (low-paid) occupations that fit in with school hours. Or that the OP should stay at home because being in childcare after school will be bad for the kids and best for them to have someone (their mum) at home blah blah blah.

Dozer Mon 24-Oct-11 16:00:15

Heard an interview with Nick Clegg on desert island discs, Kirsty Young did ask him about work vs family life. He emphasised that like many "hard-working families" they had to juggle, ask for help from family etc. Except that most families do not have their income.

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