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(39 Posts)
MrsClown Mon 17-Oct-11 07:53:57

I have a bank account with the Halifax that I have my salary paid into. I also have a joint account with my husband, and I pay some of my salary into the account to take care of bills, mortgage etc. Whilst I have been a customer with the Halifax I have also bought a house on my own and a car on my own, I have banked with them for years.

Recently, any correspondence we receive regarding the joint account is addressed to Mr and Mrs A ........ My husband's name is Andrew. I contacted the Halifax to advise them I am not called Andrew and wished to have my initial included on the bank account correspondence. They tell me that the way they do it is automatic and they cannot change it. I told them I would be changing my bank accounts to a more ethical and at least gender equal on the surface!!!! I was nearly through the ceiling I was so angry.

I cannot believe that in 2011 this is an acceptable way to address married couples. I felt like I was in a time warp. I did tell them that 30 years ago when I was in the RAF I went to my bank (TSB) and asked for an overdraft facility and they asked my husband to sign as guarantor!!!!! We havent really moved on that much have we?!!! Needless to say, I changed from TSB. 30 years later I am changing my accounts for a very similar reason.

The manager who I spoke to (a woman) totally agreed with me, she couldnt believe it herself but could do nothing about it. She also said that the people she had spoken to regarding this problem had advised her that they had had a lot of calls on this issue from married women who are really really not happy with this.

MrsClown Mon 17-Oct-11 07:54:29

Sorry to go on a bit but it really has knocked my duck off!!!!!

HazleNutt Mon 17-Oct-11 09:33:00

This is a BS excuse - can't do nothing about it. Someone set the system up this way, this means that it can be changed as well.

KRITIQ Mon 17-Oct-11 10:00:23

Yes, it's ridiculous. Do you and your DH have the same surname then? Even so, that gives them no right to determine how you and your spouse will be referred to in correspondence (i.e. you as just an appendage to your husband.)

Make sure you write to the top bods in Halifax to explain why you are leaving them after all this time of being a good customer. Also, it might be worth raising it with the Money Saving Expert or other consumer watchdog types. Good luck.

ruddynorah Mon 17-Oct-11 10:03:04

That is the 'correct' way to address post to a married couple. Yes it's old fashioned and assumes the husband has dominance, but that is the way to formally address you. You only get your first initial back if your husband dies.

BlingLoving Mon 17-Oct-11 10:04:12

Technically, if you are married and choose to be mrs dhsurname, the correct way for you to be addressed is as mrs dhname dhsurname. Personally, I think it's difficult to complain about them observing old fashioned approaches to names when you have chosen to take the old fashioned approach of using your husband to identify yourself (ie the Mrs and Dhsurname).

MamaGeekChic Mon 17-Oct-11 10:29:47

I have to agree that if you choose to take your husbands name in marriage that this is the correct formal way to address you. If you feel so strongly about it the why would you not choose to keep your own name?

MrsClown Mon 17-Oct-11 11:07:38

I first got married 30 odd years ago to husband number 1. After years of domestic abuse I left him. I then bought myself a house, a car etc and made a new life. I then met husband number 2. To change back to my original (my dads name) name it would have cost me money I didnt have so I took my 2nd husbands name. I cant believe that you are dissing me in a roundabout way for doing that. At the end of the day I chose my 2nd husband, I didnt choose my dads name did I. It does not mean I should have to give up my 1st name also and I shouldnt have to explain myself really.

Also, I have been a feminist for 38 years and have fought some incredible battles and won, which hopefully will have made things better for younger women.

This is why women will never win, they dont stick together and some even diss each other!!!!

Thank you for your support Kritiq, I will let you know how it goes.

So the rest of you, just because someone chooses to take their husbands surname then they should also choose to take their 1st name aswell.

All other companies we deal with as a couple address us as Mr A and Mrs C ..... so it is possible.

CristinaaarghdellAaarghPizza Mon 17-Oct-11 11:11:50

That's an incredibly old-fashioned way of looking at the world - my mum complained about this in the 1970s! FWIW she and my dad are in their late 70s and their bank account and letters from the bank are addressed to Mr XY Dad and Mrs XX Mum and have been for years.

I would also move banks

WowOoo Mon 17-Oct-11 11:12:57

On my joint account they have separated our names: Mr.X. Wowoo And Mrs Y.WowOoo
If they can do it for me, I don't see why they can't do it for you.

CristinaaarghdellAaarghPizza Mon 17-Oct-11 11:14:50

Sorry, that wasn't at all clear. They are addressed as Mrs XX and Mr XY della Pizza - they have the same surname.

And incidentally Debretts disagrees with those of you who say this is the 'correct' form of address, recognising that women don't become chattels of their husbands on marriage hmm

ruddynorah Mon 17-Oct-11 11:16:17

Um, I wasn't dissing you. I was offering an explanation for why Halifax do it. I certainly don't address mail in that way.

MrsClown Mon 17-Oct-11 11:20:59

I am going to move banks and so is my husband. Thanks for the support. Pizza - thanks for the Debretts reference. I thought I was going mad!!!!!

I still cant believe that other women think that just because I chose my husband's surname (for monetary reasons) I should also loose my 1st name!!!!!

HazleNutt Mon 17-Oct-11 12:01:38

It migt be formally correct, but it's sexist and outdated. First time I hear feminists defending such sexist practices with "but this is the way things are".

MarthasHarbour Mon 17-Oct-11 12:06:03

Go to Nationwide. I took my DH's surname but they address our Joint accounts as Mr X MarthasHarbour and Mrs Y MarthasHarbour. I really like it actually (and no i dont care that i am second!!)

weblette Mon 17-Oct-11 12:13:29

I'll need to dig out a letter to check. If it's just happened I'll bet the take-over by Lloyds has something to do with it, they've cocked-up so many other things to do with Halifax...

Katiebeau Mon 17-Oct-11 12:25:28

I hate been referred to by my husbands first name!!! It has never happened to me via Lloyds by the way. Only the Halifax have tried to pull this crap on me, especially when I was told "the woman has to be the second mortgage applicant". Oh yeah, when I'm the one paying for it????? angry. Good luck changing banks Op.

sportsfanatic Mon 17-Oct-11 12:31:23

When we set up a joint account, for various reasons my husband decided to move from his bank to mine (Abbey, now Santander). As a result we get our statements addressed to Mrs X sportsfanatic and Mr Y sportsfanatic. Our cheque books also have my name first. It has been this way for 38 years at least.
We didn't care how it was set up so they simply put the name of the first person to open the account first. We have another account which my husband opened first and I joined and that has Mr Y first and Mrs X second.

So this idea that banks are doing it the proper way is a load of old cobblers. It can be done any which way you want.

Booooooyhoo Mon 17-Oct-11 12:34:28

for old fashioned read sexist. nothing 'correct' about it, just sexist.

Yama Mon 17-Oct-11 12:34:48

I'm saddened that people are arguing that because you took your dh's surname you should have to accept such sexist treatment.

I won't bank with the Halifax while they have this policy. Are they part of the Bank of Scotland? I'll stike them off my list too.

I'm still Miss MyName on our joint account with RBS. Think I might even be listed first. I'm Ms MyName everywhere else.

PessimisticMissPiggy Mon 17-Oct-11 12:36:05

I bank with Halifax and have a joint account with my DH. Our letters come Ms PM Piggy and Mr DH Hissurname.

I notified them of my marriage and my wish to change from miss to ms and they just changed my title and changed their records to say married. If the system wasn't confused by this then surely it can't be by addressing you by your initial in joint correspondence.

Natwest on the other hand really pissed me off and refused to change from miss to without seeing an official document to reflect ms. Thankfully when I applied for my driving licence at 17 I ticked the ms box!

Tequilamockinbat Mon 17-Oct-11 12:37:05

We bank with Natwest and our joint account is Mrs T and Mr M.... My name is always first

That's 1 of the reasons I've stuck with them wink

Tequilamockinbat Mon 17-Oct-11 12:37:30

Initials that is - we have the same surname

worldgonecrazy Mon 17-Oct-11 12:42:20

I think you were ill-advised by whomever told you that you couldn't revert back to your maiden name after your first divorce. It wouldn't have cost you a penny.

But back to your post - yes it does seem a bit silly that Halifax are unable to deal with the variances of modern marriage and the requests of a modern independent woman.

chopchopbusybusy Mon 17-Oct-11 12:44:33

We have a joint account with Halifax and letters are addressed to Mr D Surname and Mrs C Surname. The name on our account (on the chequebook etc) is D and Mrs C Surname. So the person you spoke to is clearly talking bollocks.

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