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Yes I'm ashamed of myself, but what should I have said?

(17 Posts)
LynetteScavo Thu 06-Oct-11 18:28:17

I was talking to my boys about when DH was faced with a difficulty.

I said something along the line of "Dad didn't just sit around the house moping, he manned up and went out and sorted it out"

DS2 said "So if you were a woman, would you woman up?"

I don't want this to be an "oh isn't it awful there isn't a female phrase for this, life is so unfair" thread....I want to move forward and use a non sexist term.

Should I just drop "woman up" into conversation? Or should I stick to "face up"?

StewieGriffinsMom Thu 06-Oct-11 18:47:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WishIwereAtTheWiesnProst Thu 06-Oct-11 18:52:12

Be hard for your Ds to "woman up" though grin

Use face up in the future I guess but don't think what you said was too bad, it just means act like an adult to me.

blackcurrants Thu 06-Oct-11 19:20:03

I like 'spine' and 'guts' in these situations. "Summon the intestinal fortitude" is a saying in my house. Speaking of which , I must summon the intestinal fortitude to do some washing up...

weevilswobble Thu 06-Oct-11 19:31:39

Aren't we already up there? You know being women and all that. Isnt it just men that have to man up? Lol

GumballCharm Thu 06-Oct-11 21:46:22

We say woman up!...I don't think it's bad...I have 2 DDs, I want them to think of women as strong. They hear Man up in relation to their Dad.

ivykaty44 Thu 06-Oct-11 21:50:10

take on the challenge

not keen on man up, or woman up or grow a back bone - as they have a negative implication that the person is the opposite which in this means someone ineffectual.

ecclesvet Thu 06-Oct-11 22:58:48

I dislike the phrase for two reasons, one a proper feminist reason and the other a 'what about the menz' point.

1. To 'man up' usually seems to mean to toughen up, go out there, and get stuff done - it implies that success through hard work is an exclusively male attribute.

2. It reinforces gender stereotypes so that any male who is somewhere below John Wayne on the tough-and-gruff scale feels inadequate.

Speaking of John Wayne, I have heard an adapted phrase: 'cowboy (the fuck) up'. This still implies that toughness and success is a male field, but it does at least not say that all men should aspire to such behaviour.

FromGirders Thu 06-Oct-11 23:05:29

In our house we have "woman up", "girl up" and "boy up" (not to be confused with "buoy up" obviously), partly because it just feels mean to tell a small child to be an adult.

I do like "remember you have vertebrae" - I may borrow that one.

FromGirders Thu 06-Oct-11 23:06:54

As a child my mum used to come and check how I was getting on with some job or other by asking was I "coping womanfully".

TheFidgetySheep Thu 06-Oct-11 23:07:13

We use 'put on your big girl panties'
Get a grip
Extract digit

HerdOfTinyElephants Thu 06-Oct-11 23:07:46

I'd be happy to use "woman up".

GumballCharm Thu 06-Oct-11 23:40:50

What has underwear got to do with inner strength though Fidgety ?

EightiesChick Thu 06-Oct-11 23:45:53

How about 'shape up' or 'get a grip'?

Pan Thu 06-Oct-11 23:57:21

isn't this a bit silly?
"Man up"is a soft, slightly daft phrase that implies so much but says so little, as Lynette has discovered. It is gender-specific, when we are already blessed with suitable non-gendered language. "woman up " is just as silly. We are referring to a quality that both genders can adopt. Be brave, resilient, resourceful, determined, focussed - they are all there already. No need to genderise it. ( Gosh, 'genderise' - am hating it, and liking it at the same time!)

KRITIQ Fri 07-Oct-11 00:05:14

I really, really, really detest the term "man up." Seems to be one of those trendy phrases at the moment but yes, it reinforces gender stereotypes - that men have to be strong, assertive and in control (and therefore, women should be sweet, passive, soft and accommodating.)

Face up, shape up, get a grip, all of those do the trick with out any questionable undertones.

Pan Fri 07-Oct-11 00:09:59

"Man up" - have only used it once, ever, as a sort of piss take. To a gay mate who really couldn;t decide which sweater to buy. I used it. We both fell about laughing.

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