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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

"efficient guilt cleaning for working ladies" -- come and list everything that's wrong with this phrase

19 replies

HerdOfTinyElephants · 19/09/2011 15:11

From the Yasmin Alibhai-Brown thread here.

I couldn't decide where to start...

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TrillianAstra · 19/09/2011 15:14

What is "guilt cleaning"? Is my guilt dirty? Does it need cleaning? Do I need to employ a guilt cleaner?

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SybilBeddows · 19/09/2011 16:00

I couldn't work out what she meant. I misread it at first as guilt about having cleaning ladies.
Maybe she means 'gilt cleaning'; I bet there is a thread on MN somewhere about the most efficient way for a working mum to clean her gilt.

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HerdOfTinyElephants · 19/09/2011 16:06

If not, then there should be...

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Fillybuster · 19/09/2011 16:18

No no no, you've got it all wrong....its how working mums dust down their guilt complexes to keep them nice and shiny...

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SybilBeddows · 19/09/2011 16:21

clean our guilt to make it shiny, or clean it away so it is no longer there?
For a top columnist she's not very good at expressing herself clearly, is she?

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marriedinwhite · 20/09/2011 21:10

I wouyld dearly love as a full time working DW and DM to two teenagers who has no reason whatsoever to work buit do because I want to to be cleansed of all gulit. Guilt because I'm not here when thjey get hme, guilt because I like work, guilt because I clear more than 2K and it's mostly pin money, guilt because the house is never perfect, guilt becaus e I. Forget thiongs, guilt because the DC are fab and I'm not allowed to say it, guilt because I get tired and snap, guilt because I've a fridge full of food and those in East Africa haven't - guilt because I converted to Anglicanism because I felt too guilty about the paradoxes of catholocism. Need I go on.

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Tchootnika · 20/09/2011 22:45

Y A-B seems to be having a (longish) phase where she hasn't got much to say, but needs to keep on saying things. She used to be quite interesting, though.

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blackcurrants · 21/09/2011 13:08

I don't often feel guilty cos I work. I sometimes feel guilty at the sheer bloody relief of DS going into nursery, but mainly that's cos he's being a right little sod at the moment...

Nothing in my house is very clean. . . is this because of my lack of guilt? I will gladly feel guiltier if in return someone else does the kitchen floor and runs a hoover around.

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Fillybuster · 21/09/2011 20:03

Sorry to scupper your plan, blackcurrants but I find (paying) someone else to do the cleaning makes me feel less guilty, rather than more as I can sit at my desk smug happy in the knowledge that my dcs have clean bedrooms and my kitchen is no longer a festering breeding ground for bacteria....

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Tchootnika · 21/09/2011 20:11

Feeling guilty about paying someone to do the cleaning - WTF?
Why? Why?
Unless it's some kind of forced labour, why on earth should anyone feel guilty about employing someone else to do something useful?

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flippinada · 21/09/2011 20:23

I read this as 'quilt cleaning' and wondered why the feck anyone would be worrying about a quilt.

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SybilBeddows · 21/09/2011 20:28

meh. I am always misreading 'guilt' as 'quilt' on MN because when it's underlined in a link it looks the same.
As a keen patchwork quilter I am frequently intrigued, then disappointed, by all the threads on the subject in the relationships topic.

Tchootnika - I spent a looong time once trying to persuade a leftie friend with a demanding job, kids and a very long commute that it was ok for her to have a cleaner. She had real reservations and I don't think she has one, even now. I cannot get my head round it at all.

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blackcurrants · 21/09/2011 22:35

I had a cleaner. She was ace. Never felt slightly guilty and when I movedaway we went out on the town together for a farewell celebration. . I miss her! In fact I must poke the budget and see if we can't get someone in this town. Even twice a month would be bliss..

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sommewhereelse · 22/09/2011 20:29

I think the guilt re cleaners comes from the fact that you if you are left-wing and you hate cleaning, you may feel guilty about having enough to afford a cleaner in such an unequal society. You feel like you would be exploiting someone. I was a bit like that but eventually we got one as we weren't coping and she did a very good job and enjoyed it and took pride in her work so I didn't feel like I was exploiting more like I was sharing wealth.

It was the first time in my life I met someone who genuinely enjoys cleaning!

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scottishmummy · 22/09/2011 20:42

i have never had a minute guilt about working ft.i have a cleaner as i dont want to spend my weekends faffing doing domestic stuff. i also have a gardener and a window cleaner

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Tchootnika · 22/09/2011 20:44

if you are left-wing ..... you may feel guilty about having enough to afford a cleaner in such an unequal society

I know, I know, but in that case, why not share it out a bit? If you're that much of a thoughtful (and well off) leftie, you can always pay a bit over the odds, surely?

Or is that just my brassy nouveau riche roots talking?

(Someone help me out here, please, I never can get this pseudo-socialist 'look, we're so egalitarian, that's why our house is such a mess, but we won't help out someone who could do with the extra cash' thing.
Confused )

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SybilBeddows · 22/09/2011 20:47

I know! Just pay well and be a good employer! There's nothing demeaning about work per se so why should cleaning be any different?

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blackcurrants · 22/09/2011 21:04

that's how I feel, Syb
Had a lefty type try to lecture me about why getting a cleaner would be Oppressing The Masses once, at university. he was a bloke and I BET he doesn't do a fair share of cleaning now.

I just shrugged and said "It's not demeaning paying someone to dry clean my clothes or drive me somewhere in a taxi or pick out my shopping for me. Cleaning my house is different how exactly?"

He just muttered. Idiot.

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sommewhereelse · 23/09/2011 07:51

Oh I agree with you now. It's just that having been there, I can understand the guilt complex.

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