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I'm thinking of reverting to my pre-married surname.

(9 Posts)
nethunsreject Sun 18-Sep-11 20:27:33

and wanted to discuss it, so thought here might be a good place.

I am happily married and have been for 7 years. I felt kind of pressured into changing my surname from the one I was born with (and yy, I know it's my Dad's!) to that of my oh. Not by him, but it was just assumed and I went along with it. I've always prefered to be Ms, but in taking dh's surname peaople assume I am Mrs AND HERE'S THE CLINCHER FOR ME : I often get mail addressed to Mrs Dh's initial and name! This drives me bonkers. We have 2 boys. They have their Dad's surname.

Has anyone done this? How easy/tricky was it? What do you think?

I'd be grateful for any feedback and any tips/suggestions.

Btw, dh wholeheartedly supports me in this. He thinks it is nuts to change from the name you are born with.

ToothbrushThief Sun 18-Sep-11 20:30:48

I did it and love having my name back

I had to get a deed poll to change it (WTF?) and it was easy with this doc to get bank etc to change it and happened in a very straightforward manner. Passport costs a lot to change though
I changed everything back

SybilBeddows Sun 18-Sep-11 20:31:24

I think it is a great idea.
I would never have changed my name and tbh was a bit surprised how many of my friends did.
The fact that you felt pressured suggest you are never going to feel quite comfortable with your married name.
Good on your dh for supporting you.

Yama Sun 18-Sep-11 20:32:42

If you want to change it then do it.

I'm glad your dh supports you.

People will accept it. Or if they don't - tough. I've been hassled by a few members of dh's family for not taking his name. I'm glad it winds them up. I get to stand up for myself.

nethunsreject Sun 18-Sep-11 20:35:56

Thanks for the messages. smile

I'm not sure how the law stands in Scotland wrt this? Guess a little investigation is required.

I know that in Scotland if you want to change your name in some way then you have to use it first BEFORE it will be changed officially, iyswim?

I know some people will think I am nuts (dh's parents for one) but I am past caring really. grin

UsingMainlySpoons Sun 18-Sep-11 21:30:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dearprudence Sun 18-Sep-11 21:40:33

I've been married 11 years and I fully intend to stay married, but I've never quite got used to my married surname and have often wondered about changing it back. I wanted to be married and I chose to change it, but tbh I never really thought about it. Somehow it's just never felt like me.

If your DH doesn't mind, I'd say go for it and change back. What would you do about your childrens' names?

NotADudeExactly Mon 19-Sep-11 00:23:45

Go for it if you think you'll feel better about your name.

FWIW, I kept my name when I got married but I am considering taking my DH's name.

The way I look at it is that my name is not really so much my own. It's my father's name because at the time when my mother was pregnant with me she married him. That was the done thing in rural Switzerland in the 80s.

However, my father and I are not particularly close. We're friendly but have really only become so after I grew up. He never even paid for my sister and me when we were growing up, always arguing that he was broke. He wasn't in any way a good father to me.

On the other hand, my DH is someone I chose to be with and who has always been lovely and supportive of me. From that POV I'd rather have his name than that of my father.

Then again, I might also imply change it to a name all of my own by deed poll.

nethunsreject Mon 19-Sep-11 20:20:49

Cheers for the input. Yy _ picking your own new name sounds fun!

I was going to leave the boys with their Dad's name. It's on their birth certs, etc and we picked their forenames to match his surname. They wouldn't 'go' with mine.

Fwiw, one of my pal's dh has her name. Took a bit of sorting out, but he is officially Mr Her Surname on all documents. Like you say, it isn't such a carry on in Scotland, but it's not quite as easy as I thought! WIsh I'd never bloody changed it!

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