Another thing about Hollywood that upsets me ...(14 Posts)
Had the misfortune to see part of 'It's complicated' last night, then woke up this morning with a thought in my head.
I bloody HATE those 'montage' scenes where people get ludicrously pissed, then do something totally bloody stupid (but utterly predictable) which they wouldn't do if sober.
1. It's lazy plot-writing. If your plot needs such a stupid event to happen, then alcohol is not the answer, a better plot is.
2. It legitimizes binge-drinking, and is always, imo, very ott about how much they drink.
3. It legitimizes acting like a fuckwit & blaming it on alcohol, when obviously the person to blame is the PERSON who did the act, not the drinks they had.
4. (And I've been building up to a BIG ending), too often, the stupid event is sexually related. Which means it's showing people that getting pissed and having indiscriminate sex is acceptable. And that really fucking pisses me off, because, it just seems too close to date rape to let me feel comfortable. Let's face it, if a guy REALLY wouldn't sleep with a woman unless he was literally so very drunk that he didn't know who she was, or even that they were having sex, he's unlikely to be able to have an erection. Whereas a woman in the same drunken state, is pretty much being raped by a guy, even if he is drunk, but just not as drunk as she is. AND it enhances the sense of entitlement of certain people, who think that they SHOULD be able to go out & get drunk then have sex. Which is a dangerous assumption to have, particularly if you're stronger than the person you want to have sex with (which is almost always the male), and means you feel angry if you're refused, cos that's not how it happens in the films. Angry, pissed blokes desperate for a shag & thinking that it's women's fault, rather than 'Hollywood's' are quite dangerous to be around.
Pours wine (but not a stupid amount, obv.)
I didn't like it's complicated either for feminist reasons. Her ex pestered and bullied her into having sex with him until she gave in, it was vile.
It's been at least 4 or 5 years since I've seen a "rom com," and I'm sure this has helped keep my blood pressure at a healthy level (ditto for ditching the TV even before that.)
I know they will be filled with silly cliches, bad writing, often crap acting and loads of misogyny (and possibly homophobia, racism, classism and disablism as well,) dressed up to be "funny." In fact, I'm not sure I could actually sit though one without walking out now.
In the past decade, about the only films other than children's ones that were worth a watch were Juno (the accents were wrong though,) and Little Miss Sunshine (which was amazingly fantastic.)
Seriously, I find great joy in not wasting my time or money on things that I know will make me angry or upset - like this kind of film.
I haven't seen the film being talked about.
But in real life people get pissed and have sex all the time, that they wouldn't have if they weren't pissed. And it's often entirely consensual.
I can think of other things that annoy me more in hollywood films TBH!
SQ, I hate the trope of a woman taking her glasses off and then she is beautiful.
Though Kate Winslet subverted this nicely in Enigma.
I saw and loathed it's complicated too btw. Hideous entitled male protag, Meryl Streep cast against type as ditzy bunting cupcake woman.
mumwithdice there is so much isn't there! Huge age gaps get on my nerves, there's one for a kickoff!
sq - I agree there's loads more to get upset about, but this is yet another thing that I suddenly noticed - and I only saw the bit where the couple get stupidly pissed and have sex.
there's also a HUGE debate on whether not objecting is the same as giving consent. ie, if you're too drunk to stop and say 'yes', then you're effectively saying 'no'. there are plenty of threads about it.
i think there are two groups of people - those who go out, wanting to get pissed & laid, so yes, they would give consent if sober, and those who wake up regretting it, and would say no if sober, but got drunk & carried away. The second category is, quite possibly, rape. That depends on how drunk the other partner was etc etc. Which is why I have such a problem with seeing it happen in movies.
I haven't seen enough of it's complicated to know whether he set her up to get drunk or not - if he did, then it's rape. because he manipulated a situation to get what he wanted against her wishes. the fact that he charmed her seduced her, but required alcohol to 'score' just shows how much effort he was willing to put into getting laid.
and the scenario where both people regret it? in hollywood it almost always means that they secretly love each other but need to get laid to realise. the confusion with sex and love is another complex set of ideas, but too often we're taught that sex is right/better/acceptable if accompanied by love, but that sex just for physical pleasure is wrong, particularly if you're a girl.
so yet another example of why it's wrong to show the getting drunk & getting laid storyline.
I haven't seen the film in question.
Thing is that people get drunk and have consensual sex all the time, so if that is what they are portraying, then I don't have a problem with it.
If they are portraying something else - then that's different. If eg she doens't fancy him and he gets her drunk and has sex with her when she doesn't really know what's going on - then obviously that is not OK.
i'm not sure that people getting drunk & laid is all that ok - not if it's because their judgement is so blurred that they act out of character & then regret it. either in rl or movies. it's the being so drunk that you lose all judgement that bothers me the most - safe consensual sex for fun I have no problem with, but it isn't safe if you can barely tell whether you're actually having sex or not.
in this example, SHE immediately regrets it & wants to make sure there's no re-play. which implies that sober, she'd never have done it. however, i don't know if he set her up to get drunk or whether it just 'happened'. either way, i don't think it's something that i find either romantic or comic.
Drunken sex that is regretted by the woman but not the man is a hollywood theme that I have definite issues with, yes.
i've been thinking more about this - it used to be seen as 'normal' and 'ok' to show people having several drinks, then getting into a car & driving home. nowadays that's taboo, and is unlikely to be shown in a mainstream movie.
i just wonder when getting pissed & laid will cease to be normalised, and start to be seen as really not a great thing to do. will we start to see films where it's not cool to behave like that?
Maybe it's just a difference in perspective. I used to enjoy getting pissed and pulling, and I don't think I was unusual , so I don't get using it as part of a plot as such a bad thing.
i think it's the degree of it - getting pissed & pulling = normal. so pissed you really don't know what you're doing & can't control it?
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