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Does Infidelity still matter?

(16 Posts)
HeifferunderConstruction Mon 05-Sep-11 15:34:09

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2033682/Affairs-longer-leading-reason-divorce--does-infidelity-matter.html

found this interesting, why are wives of the rich and powerful allowing themselves to be so public humilated again by going back?

and non- famous it seems?

do you think its seen as a blip.

I find it interesing that people seem to believev women are more empowered now, why would infidelity be more tolerated then?

ColdTruth Mon 05-Sep-11 15:36:48

Reduction in standard of living

HeifferunderConstruction Mon 05-Sep-11 15:39:34

what exactly do you eman , sorry im a bit thick

HeifferunderConstruction Mon 05-Sep-11 15:39:42

*mean

EdithWeston Mon 05-Sep-11 15:39:44

It doesn't say there are fewer divorces. Nor that there is more tolerance of adultery. Rather that the reason for divorce is changing. No bad thing, really - adultery and the breach of trust is certainly a killer for many marriages. But the lower proportion shows that other issues are just as deadly, and I don't see it as retrograde that those who wish to divorce are using whatever reason they think reflects their circumstances (not the trumped up adultery of a coup,e of generations ago).

A few high profile cases reported a la Mail do not make a social trend.

Cocoflower Mon 05-Sep-11 15:42:57

I seriously do not understand it.

A string of beautiful, successful woman being humilated and betrayed by rather unattractive men in public.

I was horrified for example Cheryl Cole forgave Ashley so quickly the first offence. And Coleen Rooney letting Wayne act so disgustingly while pregnant too- why?

I suppose it is UR to expect them to leave their marriages just to be good role models in the public eye but I worry about the messages this sends to impressionable men and women that affairs are no 'biggie' and men do not really need to worry about consquence.

ColdTruth Mon 05-Sep-11 15:46:11

What I mean is that for the wives of rich/wealthy men, divorcing them would make a massive impact on their lives and the way they live. Such a massive change in lifestyle would make people more likely to forgive.

I also think that infidelity is expected of rich men, as a common myth is that the only thing stopping most men from cheating is a lack of opportunity and rich men have an abundance of opportunity, so it is seen as a lesser 'offence' in a relationship. A lesser offence being easier to forgive.

Cocoflower Mon 05-Sep-11 15:53:25

"I also think that infidelity is expected of rich men"

Really? The famous and rich or just the rich?

AMumInScotland Mon 05-Sep-11 15:58:22

I think there have always been a proportion of wives of the rich and powerful who married for reasons that weren't just about love or sex - money, security, status etc. And, for them, infidelity wouldn't necessarily be a deal-breaker because it wouldn't dent the reasons they were together in the first place.

Then there are probably another slice of women who married for love but stay for other reasons, who again may not be as bothered about physical fidelity, or are bothered but choose to put up with it because the overall package seems "worth it".

Cocoflower Mon 05-Sep-11 16:04:47

I suppose if your marriage is literally a bussiness transaction they you have no emotional involvment so really would not care

However not all rich men will have affairs- plently are decent.

BobBanana Mon 05-Sep-11 16:50:05

Message withdrawn

STIDW Mon 05-Sep-11 17:28:24

The Grant Thornton report referred to in the article shows there has been a move away from fault finding divorce and I think perhaps people are citing other reasons which are either easier to prove or less contentious to speed up the divorce process. Here in Scotland only about 8% of divorces are on the grounds of adultery or unreasonable behaviour because the courts can grant divorce after only one year's separation with consent or two years' without.

Also with the current economic situation as it is perhaps it's rather daunting for a dependent spouse to leave because of the uncertainties.

HeifferunderConstruction Mon 05-Sep-11 18:25:35

*A string of beautiful, successful woman being humilated and betrayed by rather unattractive men in public.

I was horrified for example Cheryl Cole forgave Ashley so quickly the first offence. And Coleen Rooney letting Wayne act so disgustingly while pregnant too- why?

I suppose it is UR to expect them to leave their marriages just to be good role models in the public eye but I worry about the messages this sends to impressionable men and women that affairs are no 'biggie' and men do not really need to worry about consquence.*

totally my sentiments and with nay couple if they have kids what message it sends

HeifferunderConstruction Mon 05-Sep-11 18:26:03

Reduction in standard of living

sorry I think iwas half asleep I get you now

garlicnutter Mon 05-Sep-11 18:58:00

Is this only about male infidelity? I'd be kind of interested to know whether the double standard has changed (3 strikes for a husband, no second chances for a wife) but, for goodness sake, there are all sorts of different marriages and plenty of alternative "faults" for divorce. Some people never really expected fidelity, and have to do some playacting when the media pick up on an 'adventure'. Some couples have open marriages. Many marriages are partnerships but not passions. Am surprised to see wives' return to straying spouse described as humiliating - you can't know that unless you know her.

Portofino Mon 05-Sep-11 19:10:47

Hmmmm. There seems to be no end of young women (and men for that matter) whose sole ambition in life seems to be to snag a cleb or well paid footballer and live their subsequent life on the pages of OK magazine.

I personally find this very sad, and sign of our materialist and fame culture, but I suspect that these people would (mostly) probably put up with one hell of a lot more than your average spouse. Look at ugly old Heff. He still gets to share his bed with nubile young blondes who profess to love him. I find that very frightening.

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