OK, I've set up a new account for this, so if you work out who I am, please don't give my regular name.
dh & I have been having major troubles - not many big arguments, but we are now pretty much at an impasse. we are still good friends & get a lot of emotional support from each other, but there is no 'wow' factor, or wish for one, or anything on either side.
we would also like more freedom/flexibility than a traditional marriage allows for.
however, if we split up & live separately, as well as all the emotional fall out (and bot our families will see this as a worse-than-death scenario, and never get over it), there are a huge number of practical difficulties.
basically, we would go from being financially comfortable, happily co-parenting, able to help out etc etc, to having barely enough money to support two houses, no family support & single parents, no companionship etc.
the house we live in is big enough that we have separate rooms, and dh works from home in an office, we kind of live amicable, but fairly separate lives, with dd happy.
HOWEVER - dh just assumes I will do most/all 'wifework'. It has been one of our big issues & one I don't see being resolved. IF we split up, he would have to pay spousal and child support. So if we acknowledge that we are 'over' but continue to co-exist in the same house, I would benefit from his higher salary, and having a back-up parent on hand, but be stuck with being a 'housewife', plus having work.
but then I would be in that position anyway if we split up, and with significantly less money & support.
we live thousands of miles from family, so we could be fairly open about our situation here, without the trauma of telling parents that we're getting divorced.
I have to log off for a while, but would love to know how you lot think this could work out. am i being a complete idiot to think about a 'house share' rather than separating completely?
Feminism: Sex & gender discussions
Is this a compromise too far? I'd like a feminist viewpoint on this.
UndercoverFeminist · 22/08/2011 16:35
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